If one has mental and emotional challenges, or if they have relationship problems, they can end up looking for ways to work on their inner child. This is going to be a sign that they have come to the conclusion that their childhood is having an effect on their adult life.

The reason they have this outlook could be because they have read about it, and if this isn’t the case, it could be something that they sense at a deeper level. This is not to say that they haven’t read up on this subject though; what it can mean is that there are a number of different factors involved.

Inner Child

It has been said that the inner child is located just above the stomach, and this is an area that is said to play a big part in how one feels. For many years, the brain in one’s head was seen as the area that was in control of how one felt.

This part of one’s body is where another brain can be found, and another name for this brain is the enteric system. Research has shown that over ninety percent of serotonin and over fifty percent of dopamine is made in this area.

One Way

If this area does have an impact on how one feels and their inner child is situated here, then it makes sense to work on the inner child. Another way that one can change what is taking place here is to consume foods that are high in probiotics.

These foods will have a positive impact on the health of one’s gut, and as a result of this, one can end up feeling better too. However, eating the right food will only do so much; it is unlikely to have an effect on their inner child.

An Option

This is not to say that probiotics are therefore irrelevant, as one can incorporate them into their diet to improve their mood. What it comes down to is that if one has relationship problems, for instance, using probiotics is unlikely to change anything.

Therefore, as long as one has a deeper understanding of what plays a part in how they feel, it will allow them to use the right tool for the job, so to speak. One can reflect on how they feel or think about what continues to cause them problems in their relationships, and then take the approach that they believe will allow them to experience life differently.

It’s in the Past

If one was to talk to people about how their inner child is influencing how they experience life as an adult, they may tell them that what happened to them as a child is all in the past. Therefore, they need to ‘move on’, and to focus on what is taking place now.

Having said that, one might also have people around them who understand what they are going through, and this could be a sign that they are also in touch with this part of themselves. Through being around people who are like this, or if one only has one person who understands them, it is likely to make their life easier.


One could be in a position where their inner child is in lot of pain, and it is then going to be a challenge for them to enjoy their time on this earth. There is also the chance that this part of them makes itself known during certain times.

In this case, one may have a relatively healthy relationship with their inner child, and it is then not something that stops them from being able to live a fulfilling life. But even though it might not affect every area of their life, it could it could still cause them to experience a lot of pain.


There could be times when one feels powerless and as though they have no control over their life. They could have moments where they feel incredible needy, and no matter what they receive, they don’t feel any different.

The end of a relationship might not only cause them to be overwhelmed by a sense of loss, it could also make them feel as though they have been abandoned. It might not matter how long they had been with someone, or if they had a strong connection with them.

Two Factors

When it comes to how one’s inner child feels, there will be what took place during ones younger years and how they responded to what took place. If one was a very sensitive child, for instance, their childhood wouldn’t have needed to have been extremely abusive in order for them to have been deeply wounded.

Yet, this is not to say that when one is deeply wounded it always comes down to how they responded to what took place. If one is carrying a lot of pain, it could be a sign that they did go through a lot during their early years.


It will be important for one listen to their inner child, and to embrace what is taking place within them. Through doing this, they will gradually be able to let go of the conflict that is sabotaging their life.

Whereas, if they were to stop themselves from feeling certain feelings, or if they were to judge what is taking place within them, it will make it harder for them to experience life differently. Through responding to this part of them as a loving mother would respond to her child, one will gradually be able to heal their inner child.


One way one can heal their inner child is through crying out the pain that is within them. To do this, one will need to get in touch with their body and to allow themselves to go with how they feel.

If one finds it hard to connect with how they feel or doesn’t feel comfortable getting in touch with how they feel, they might need to work with a therapist and/or a support group. This external support will allow them to gradually get in touch with how they feel and to release the pain that is within them.

Holding On

However, while this approach might allow one to change how you feel and to experience life differently, it might not. Regardless of how much pain ones cries out, one might feel the need to hold onto how you feel.

One’s inner child might have the need to stay loyal to the people who were around during their early years, and one way this can take place is through experiencing life as they did. Therefore, if one was to let go of the pain that is within them and to life a fulfilling life, it could cause them to feel guilty.

Returning the Favour

Through being given life, one can then feel the need to take on their family’s problems in order to bring balance to the family. This is done out of love, and as one was given life; this can be seen as the least they can do.

As an adult, it might be hard to relate to this; however, what it shows is that the way a young child experiences life is radically different to how an adult does. If one lets go of the outlook they have and connects to this part of themselves, it may allow them to realise why they would sabotage their life.


In order to let go of their need to be loyal, one might need to have a family constellation. This will then allow one to let go of the pain that doesn’t belong to them, and it will then be possible for them to live their own life.

This can take place in a one-to-one session or through a workshop.

Author's Bio: 

Prolific writer, thought leader and coach, Oliver JR Cooper hails from the United Kingdom. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation; love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over eight hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behavior, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. Current projects include "A Dialogue With The Heart" and "Communication Made Easy."

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

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