Although there are people that generally feel strong and as though they have control over their life, there are others that don’t. Consequently, these people are likely to have a very different experience on this earth.

Not only will their inner world be different, their outer world is also going to be different. Still, while how these people experience life will be different, there is the chance that this is how their life has always been.

Just How It Is

If someone has always felt strong and as though they have control over their life, how they experience life is not going to be an issue. They will probably be used to getting their needs met and know what it feels like to achieve something.

Thanks to this, the life that they lead could be in alignment with who they are, not a life that is a complete mismatch. So, they could have a fulfilling job, close bonds with others, and do the things that energise them, for instance.

A Bleak Existence

If, on the other hand, someone has more or less always felt weak and as though they have no control over their life, how they experience life is going to be an issue. There is a strong chance that they are not used to getting their needs met or know what it feels like to achieve something.

Therefore, their life is unlikely to be in alignment with who they are, and they are not going to believe that they can do anything about it. If they have a job they might not enjoy it, the people in their life might not treat them very well, and they might rarely do things that energise them.

Their Outlook

Taking all this into account, it is not going to be a surprise if one has what is often called a ‘victim mentality’. What this means is that one will believe that they have no control over their life, with their life being defined by others.

Ergo, other people are going to be in control over whether something does or doesn’t happen to them. Having this outlook can also cause them to experience a fair amount of fear and anxiety.

The Connection

The truth is that one does have control over their life but as they are unable to see how their inner world is impacting their outer world, it seems as though this isn’t the case. To them, it can seem as though how they feel is simply a reflection of what is taking place externally.

One will then be an effect of what is going on as opposed to the cause. Their inner world won’t change, which will mean that they will continue to create a life that tells them, in a variety of ways, that they have no control.

What Is Going On?

One way of looking at this would be to say that when they feel powerless and as though they have no control over their life, it is because they have merged with their wounded inner child. Or to be more exact, one of their wounded inner child selves as there is likely to be more than one.

When this takes place, it won’t be possible for them to realise that they are no longer a powerless child that has no control. Physically, they will look like an adult but, emotionally, they will feel like a child.

Emotional Collapse

The fact that they feel so weak and powerless could show that their early years were anything but nurturing. During their developmental years, they may have been abused and/or neglected on a regular basis.

Therefore, their needs would have rarely, if ever, been met, which would have meant that they would have felt powerless, helpless and hopeless on a regular basis. The reason for this is that they would have been powerless to do anything about what was going on; these were then not just feelings that didn’t reflect reality, they were a reflection of reality.

Stuck In The Past

What took place will be in the past, that much is clear; however, when they merge with their wounded inner child, it will be as though they are a powerless child once again. Their adult self will be put to one side and they won’t be able to embrace the power that is inside them.

For this to take place, and for them to no longer feel like a powerless child, they will need to detach from their wounded inner child and to embrace their adult self. Now, this doesn’t mean that they will need to ‘kill’ their inner child or anything like that.

A Process

Ultimately, the reason their inner child keeps taking over is due to the fact that it wants to be seen and heard. Nonetheless, if one merges with this part of them and loses touch with their adult self, they won’t be able to be there for this part of them.

To be there for this part of them, they will most likely need to build up their own presence and their ability to hold the space for themselves. Once this has taken place, they will be able to hold the space for their inner child, allowing it to express what it was unable to express all those years ago.


This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer. Someone like this will hold the space so that you can go where you wouldn’t go by yourself, thereby giving them the chance to work through their inner wounds.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over two thousand, three hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

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