I'm So Afraid I'm Going to Lose My Husband: Fear of Losing Husband to another Woman

Do you really want to divorce or save your marriage if you can? Divorce is never pretty and is rarely the best option. In fact, short of mental or physical abuse situations where counseling could not heal the broken marriage, then there really isn't a good reason to divorce.

So, how can you save your marriage and put off the divorce? Well, what are you willing to do to keep your marriage?

Are you willing to fight for to keep your marriage? I'm not talking about fighting with your spouse to get your way in the marriage. I'm talking about humbling yourself and putting aside your interest for the sake of your marriage.

Are you willing to stop arguing to save your marriage? It's difficult to resist hammering your spouse on any and every issue when you are tired and frustrated. You can find yourself arguing over dinner plans, family visits, purchases or anything else. Can you commit to letting your spouse argue with his or herself for the time being?

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

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Can you ask your spouse to forgive you to save your marriage? If you have not been perfect (and none of us are) there are probably a few areas you have let your spouse down in your marriage recently. Have you been unfaithful? Have you been a nightmare to live with? Have you used your tongue or bank account to punish your spouse for making your married life difficult? Whatever, you have been doing or not doing, can you bring yourself to asking for forgiveness?

Would your marriage survive if you asked for a truce? It's hard to save a marriage when you are in the heat of battle. I'm sure your spouse is probably as tired and frustrated as you are and could benefit from a break in trying to bring your marriage to an end. Why not ask him or her to put things on hold and see how things are 2 months from now.

Is forgiving your spouse or asking for forgiveness in areas of broken vows, trust, or confidence something that has been missing? If you or your spouse has been unfaithful it doesn't mean that divorce is inevitable. If you want to save your marriage, it's just another obstacle. You won't be the first couple able to save their marriage under this stressful situation.

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Are the signs of your marriage falling apart becoming too visible? And you feel your marriage too precious to let it derail from its track? It is time to take stock of what went wrong and what you must do immediately to repair the ugly cracks that have started appearing in your marriage.

If, you still love your spouse and want to make your marriage work, before divorce stares at your face all of a sudden, you need to know what exactly you should do.

What you must do:

• You both have vowed to be together till death and not until you have allowed problems to get beyond control.
• Make sincere and conscious efforts to make each other happy like you did during your courtship.
• Pick out the nice things about your spouse and make it a point to appreciate their every small gesture as everyone craves and loves appreciation that goes a long way to strengthen your marriage.
• You did all that is possible to impress her and that has been pushed to the back seat somehow. Pick up those precious threads of your beautiful and intimate relationship and take it forward. You need to work on it every single day. One thing will lead to another and before you know it, you both would have fallen in love with each other all over again!
• Discover ways in which you can spend time together and make adjustments to reaffirm your love and commitment to your marriage.

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• Plan and work together towards long time goals and allow the freedom and personal space to make life easier for each other.
• Have clearly defined financial and other responsibilities and expenses and be transparent about everything.
• Discuss openly any problems or issues then and there without putting it off as it may grow to formidable proportions to ruin your marriage.

What not to do:
• Never allow ego clashes take precedence over compassion and love. You can take the initiative to create an atmosphere for a heart to heart talk about any issues that may be bothering you instead of stopping communication. Avoid shouting and screaming as it is intimidating and unfair..
• Never allow anger to wipe out all the good things you have put into your marriage till now. Control your bad temper to be able to give your wife a fair chance to explain her side.
• Don't annoy each other with harsh words and humiliating behavior.
• Stay clear of any gossip and rumors as they are bound to become your marriage killers.
• Secrets and hiding facts can kill the trust in a marriage and so must never be in your agenda if you are serious about saving your marriage.

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If you want to save your marriage, you will find this article very useful. To get your partner back and save your marriage, you do not need to go for a therapy or counseling - you just need to understand the things that you need to do in order to keep your marriage.

First of all, you must understand that no matter how big your problem seems to be now, there are solutions to solve them. No situation is unsalvageable. You need to have hope. Every day, couples get back together regardless of the situation.

Next, you must be willing to spend effort and work on the relationship. With patience and determination, the problems will be eventually taken care of. Remember that it does not take you one night to save your marriage.

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Next, you must communicate with your spouse and let him or her know how you feel now. Open communication is very important in a relationship. Most misunderstandings that I see are results of mis-communication. A relationship cannot last long if there is no open communication. So tell your deepest feelings and thoughts to your spouse.

One thing that you MUST NOT do is to keep your spouse in the dark about how you are feeling. This is the reason why arguments start which sometimes results in divorce. So, set aside some time each day to get a better understanding of your spouse and their expectation of the relationship.

When you are communicating with your spouse, avoid yelling and screaming. This will make the matter worse. Keep cool and talk nicely.

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Choosing to go to marriage counselling is a very big decision for any couple, though it needs to be a willingness from both sides. Forcing a partner to attend counselling is not always going to provide you with the best results. Both partners must want to work on and hopefully rectify their issues, working towards a harmonious future, where they can get their relationship back on track.

It is important to have realistic goals when approaching a marriage counsellor for the first time. It is important to bear in mind that not all couples can resolve their issues and some may find that separating on an amicable basis is more advantageous to their futures than staying together. One of the biggest mistakes a couple can make is to stay together as a couple for the sake of the children. In most instances, this works out worse than anticipated, having a negative effect on the children moving forward.

One of the first signs that marriage counselling isn't working is that you focus too heavily on your partners faults. While not all marriages can be saved, counselling will help you overcome your differences and moving forward in a positive light. In the event that after numerous sessions you cannot let go of what your partner has done in the past, then this is not working for you.

Many couples will attend marriage counselling in the hope that it will help them overcome one or both partners infidelity. Sometimes forgiving is not as easy as you may have thought and beginning to trust the partner again is almost impossible. For these couples, sometimes the best solution is to separate, lead separate lives and remain friends moving forward.

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In the event you find your counsellor focuses on the negatives of your marriage too much without counteracting with the positives, then your marriage counselling experience is doomed for failure. Your marriage counselling experience should highlight why you are together and why you want your relationship to work. If you are forced to stay in the negative and only remember the bad things about the relationship, you will never be able to move forward and the negatives will continue to haunt you now and moving forward.

Remember that your relationship is something that is out of your control. While you can control your actions and emotions, you cannot control your partner, which means that from time to time they are going to do things you don't like or agree with. It's learning to accept them for who they are and in the event you cannot, then there is no helping your relationship. A relationship is based on acceptance and trust and marriage counselling should highlight this and provide you with the techniques and tools you need to make it work in the future.

In some instances you will find that even with marriage counselling you simply cannot work out your differences. It doesn't matter what caused you to grow apart or what started the troubles within the relationship that you felt marriage counselling was your only solution, but if you cannot work through the problems with the help of a professional, then the best solution to ensure a happy future is to walk away.

Total disagreement where common ground cannot be found through marriage counselling is another reason to walk away before it's too late. Often couples find that with the help of counselling they are better off apart than together. This can result in an amicable future, happier family lives and happier couples.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

Author's Bio: 

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There are specific techniques that will show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your spouse back in your arms- Especially if you are the only one trying... Visit Save The Marriage to find out more.

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