I began this process as sort of therapeutic soul searching sort of way. I see myself as many of you have been before me and many more after me as embarking on yet a new adventure or stage in life. During this process I read a quote

“If nothing ever changed, there'd be no butterflies” - Author Unknown

I am about to have an empty nest. I have many people tell me “it will be great”. I can see how having an empty nest has had some negative effect on some people. I am determined to go through this stage of life and make the best of it. So what exactly does that mean…? Well I decided to start looking for things to do. I began my research and looking at myself in order to try and figure out things and look at activities that I enjoyed once and still enjoy now, but decided to place them on hold since they either interfered with my children activities, me being a mom or work. Plain and simple I did not feel I had enough time to do things I enjoyed or I did not see them important enough for me to pursue.

While going through my soul searching I rediscovered the fact that I really liked butterflies. The quote actually made sense to me at that time. I also noticed the similarities between the human life and the butterfly life cycle, they both have four parts or stages. The butterfly has egg, larva, pupa and adult. Similarly as you already know humans have child, teen, young adult and adult.
Just as butterflies go through a transformation, I feel we go through similar. Going from “responsible” parent to empty nest or is a metamorphosis in itself. I have decided to look at this as an opportunity to really lean about myself, the individual not the mother, sister, girl friend, or wife. I recognize that I now have chance to improve my current relationships with my children, family, friends, as well as new relationships to come. It is not the end of the world but rather the beginning of another adventure, a new chapter in my life or the next stage in my life.

I have narrowed down the areas I will work on and as the Project Manager that I am I have rank them in order of priority of some kind. Accepting my situation with mixed feelings…I noticed that I like many of us tend to stay within our comfort zone. I noticed that I might every once in a while might stick my head out of my box, sort of like a turtle, but I would not get out my box. I will work on getting myself out of my comfort zone. I have already taken a few steps in that direction. I lived all my life in New York City and decided several years ago to relocate, which I did. It has not been easy but I am used to struggling. Something else that I will work on is making new friends which will be a huge challenge in itself. Changing careers, furthering my education, actually having a hobby other than my children, whatever activity they were involved in.

Well…here is to all the changes to come, just like butterflies….a life metamorphosis out of which a new creature will emerge.

Author's Bio: 

Carmen is a New York native, most recently transplanted in Texas. Carmen is the single mother of 2 children, the youngest will be living home this summer. After a life dedicated to raising her children she now finds herself facing an Empty Nest.

To lean more about how to prepare for Life After Children (AC) or coping with Empty Nest Syndrome simply visit http://LifeNextStage.com