I Pushed Him Away and Now He's Gone: How to Get a Guy Back That You Scared Away

Many girls seem to ask themselves "How can I win my ex boyfriend back" even after they drove their ex boyfriend away. Perhaps there's been some sort of falling out or an argument but many things are said in the heat of the moment that you now regret.

When we're dating, life is always full of ups and downs and most of the "downs" are a result of nothing more than a slight misunderstanding. So, while you're still trying to sort out in your own mind what went wrong, here a few suggestions as to where men get the wrong idea and end up thinking that they're being driven away.

Many men back off for what seems like a counter intuitive reason. By trying too hard to be the perfect girlfriend, looking after whatever he needs, you end up looking like a doormat to him. The best idea is to be comfortable with the idea of self respect and how you present yourself to the man in your life. This doesn't necessarily mean that you should always be the dominant part of the relationship but more that you should be saying that you deserve to be treated with respect.

By not being willing to be walked all over you give the message that your ex boyfriend should want to come back to you. Men do like to be treated well most of the time but they do want women who are able to stand up for themselves.

Another thing that will drive them away is to talk about your other ex's. Men tend to be competitive when it comes to dating and thinking of the other men that could be seen as potential competition to their efforts will cause trouble. This is because when you mention the other men that have been in your life it gives them something to compare against.

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This doesn't mean that you can never mention a previous boyfriend as your background and personal story are important, it's what makes you the person you are. Knowing you dated one man through school or university is fine. Telling your current boyfriend that your former boyfriend was an athlete with dozens of medals or too much personal detail such as where his birthmarks are is just way too much information for a man to handle. By focusing on a former ex you'll only give the impression that you want to be with them rather than the boyfriend you have just now. Or, if it's all negative stuff, your current boyfriend will end up over analysing themselves and the relationship will only suffer.

Being to cold and calculating, or alternatively being to promiscuous, will count against you. The ideal presentation is of ladylike or feminine behaviour. Too much overtly sexual behaviour can be counterproductive but at the same time being too much of a tomboy will push men away. You should aim to be feminine, demure and someone who is not cheap or intimidating.

Another big turn off is to be seen to be pressuring him and this include trying to get him to define his role. Another big no-no is to be constantly analysing who he is and how he feels. Men tend not to be very keen on discussing their feelings, especially in the early days of a relationship. They also don't like having their feelings challenged and if he has an idea that is openly proved to be wrong it can send him heading for the hills.

One other area where men can be instantly "on guard" is where the woman in his life is always trying to change him, even if she does think it would be for the best. Men think that when you go out with them that you want them for what they are at that moment in time. So trying to change him will give the message that you believe he has a serious problem or a fault of some kind. Even if this is true, trying to change it will only challenge his feelings and runs the risk of taking away his self respect. The best bet is to leave him be. At the end of the day, if you really can't live with his problem and need something else, then find someone else.

Remember, no one and no relationship is perfect; only that you may be perfect for each other. When you're trying to figure out how you can win you're ex boyfriend back, then the steps above are there to make sure you don't scare him away.

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If you want to make your boyfriend want you back especially after he dumped you, you need to target one major area of his - his ego. Here is what you should be doing if you want your boyfriend to go crazy wanting you.

Don't let the break up affect you
Don't let the break up affect you. Nothing affects a man more than to know that you have been able to move on easily. So don't stay at home and cry. Instead look happy and chirpy. Be your regular self and surprise your man.

Don't pay any attention
Since he dumped you, you are not obligated to say hello to him or smile at him when you see him. Don't keep in touch with him. It would be better to disconnect with him completely. Look through him when you see him instead of trying to talk to him in giving the relationship another chance.

Get killer looks
Utilize some time and money and work on getting killer looks. Get a complete new makeover done as your "getting back to ex plan". Take the help of a fashion savvy friend and get a whole new wardrobe, fab skin and hair.

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Get popular with his friends
With the new look you will have no trouble getting attention from his friends. Hang out with them and flirt a little bit. Play helpless female for a bit and then reverse your roles. Your ex's friends will go crazy lusting after you and he will go crazy wanting you.

Look like you are ready to move on
Start getting seen in the social circuit. Don't waste your time sitting at home. Get partying and paint the town red. Soon you will be surprised to find that your ex will be in almost every party you visit.

Get into the dating circuit
Look like you are ready to get back into the dating circuit. Get set up for dates and always make sure that you end up in a place where you are likely to bump into your ex. It will also help if you can hook up with guys who are better looking than your ex and are also more successful. Your ex will go insane at being replaced and will want you back since you are being desired by others.

Look busy
Don't look like you have all the time in the world for your ex. Look busy doing something or the other at all times. Once your man figures out that you aren't going to wait around for him he will pull up his socks and will try to woo you back.

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You might just be tempted to agree with your ex to end the relationship and just stay friends. However, you need to think long and hard about this before you agree. Don't let your emotions govern your decision. You must decide whether you want your ex back or whether you want to just stay friends.

You still love your ex deeply, so there is no way that you will be able to break up and just stay friends. Right now you might think that it is your next best option, but understand that this is only your raw emotions telling you what to do. You are so desperate to hang on to your ex that you are prepared to just stay friends.

If you seriously want to get your ex back, then don't agree to just stay friends - not yet anyway. You need to first give yourself time to get over your ordeal before you will know what your true feelings are. Only then can you make a clear decision as to whether you want to get your ex back or just stay friends.

What if your boyfriend already left you? Here's how to get him back.

Tell your ex that for the time being you would prefer to have no contact with him/her whatsoever. Say that you need some time to get over the break up and all the bad feelings you have inside you. This will actually be good for both of you. The break up has caused both of you a lot of pain and anger, so take some time to cool off first before coming to a decision.

Live your life on your own for a while. Get your friends and family to be with you as much as possible to help you to feel happy again. Take as long as you like to do this - the more time you have to think things over, the better you will be able to decide whether to get your ex back or not.

When you are back to your old self again and know exactly what you want to do, give your ex a call. Have a casual chat to begin with, and then talk to your ex about just being friends. Who knows, being apart from you might have changed your ex's mind - he/she could be missing you and you could get your ex back.

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Our emotions are the one thing that plays the tricks on you. You hope he wants you back so of course you hold onto that little glimmer of hope. He wouldn't be calling or making random contact if he didn't want you back right? Not necessarily. Men will make contact for many reasons. Guilt being one.

They may feel bad for the pain they caused and by calling you or whatever it is he is doing to make you think he may want you back, it eases his pain. He feels better because he thinks it makes you feel better. He does not have your best interest at heart here if this is the case. This is a selfish act on his part.

If there was a break up, he is probably hurt also, just not to the degree that you are if he is the one that broke up with you. Men often stay in touch not because he wants you back, but it eases his pain and his transition back into the dating world. This is when the critical awful thing often happens. He meets someone else and you are left wondering why, when he stayed in touch. Answer, you made it easier for him by accepting his contact.

It takes me more time to process a break up than it does women. Men often sweep it under the rug. They move on in a sort of denial. Women grieve fast and hard. This is why it is so common to hear about men returning months later, some even years to find the woman has moved on and he is not longer in her thoughts. If you want him back, it's critical to stay in no contact with him during this stage and hope he doesn't take too long to figure it out.

If he is still wanting to sleep with you or have sex, this does not mean he wants you back. It means he wants his cake and eat it too. Freedom. If you want him back, don't have sex with him, this is a fatal mistake. It tells him you will accept the relationship on his terms and hopefully you are a self respecting woman who will not accept crumbs from him. Hopefully it's all or none for you. This attitude draws a man back in believe it or not.

Timing is critical when getting your ex back. Ex partners often consider a rebound relationship or just casual sex to get over you. You need to act right now. What you need is a complete, step-by-step system to take your hand and show you exactly what to do next to get your ex back in 30 days or less. For the whole system and all you would ever need to know, check it out here right now: Get Back My Ex

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