Towards the end of 2009 I did a Reference Point Therapy course in London, and the purpose of this course was to heal trauma. In the beginning, the person who was leading the course, Simon Rose, spoke about boundaries, the effect that our time in the womb can have on us and a number of other things.

Once we had gone over different parts of the course guide, we started to pair up and to try the technique ourselves. I wasn’t looking forward to do doing this, as I found it hard to get in touch with what was taking place within me.

A Real Struggle

A few years before this I had done a few Theta healing courses and I had the same problem then. When this happened, I would end up experiencing a lot of pressure and my face would get really hot.

Fortunately, Simon Rose, the guy who was leading the course and created the technique, was on hand to help people tune into what they were experiencing. One moment that comes to mind is when I paired up with someone outside, on the balcony of the conference room.


I couldn’t describe how I was feeling, and Simon said that it was the feeling of being “defeated”. I was amazed by what he did and thought about how good it would be to have the same ability.

Another part of this course was learning about the effect that our emotions can have on our body and where each emotion is usually experienced. So, while I didn’t have a strong connection to how I felt, I was able to get a rough idea of what I was likely to be feeling in each part of my body.

The First Step

We were given a book on this course called ‘Metaphysical Anatomy’ and, from what I have seen in recent years, I would say that this was written by Evette Rose. Once I had finished this course and did two more, I found it easier to tune in to my body and then to describe what I was feeling.

In a way, the seed was planted, and this allowed me to read more about this area and to develop a stronger connection to my own emotions. At the time, I thought that there must be something wrong with me for being this way.

The Reason

This was then just another thing that plenty of other people seemed to be able to do but I couldn’t. Ultimately, there was something wrong, but it wasn’t because there was something inherently wrong with me.

When I was growing up my feelings were generally ignored and this meant at I didn’t receive the mirroring that I needed to develop a connection with my emotions. Ergo, as the people around me typically ignored them, it meant that I ended up doing the same thing.

A Normal Consequence

Yet, even if I had paid attention to the information that was within me, I wouldn’t have been able to understand what was going on. I needed my mother and father to mirror back what I was feeling, so that I could understand my emotional self.

The trouble was that I was brought up by people who were not exactly in touch with themselves. The disconnection that they had with their emotional self was then passed onto me.

Author's Bio: 

Prolific writer, author, and coach, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over one thousand five hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

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