Husband Says He Doesn't Want To Be Married Anymore: What To Do When Your Husband Doesn't Love You Anymore

Are you hanging on by a thread, at the moment, trying to figure out where it all went wrong? How are you supposed to know what to do when your marriage is falling apart and your entire world seems to be caving in around you. You are probably feeling overwhelmed and confused right now, but I want to encourage you that not all is lost. In fact, this is an extremely positive moment because you have obviously come to the conclusion that your marriage is in trouble and something needs to be done about it promptly.

You could not be more right. If you are considering what to do when your marriage is falling apart, it is apparent that time is critical. Your marital concerns and issues have been left without being dealt with, for far too long, and I advise you that if you leave them any longer, you will likely, sooner than you realize, be asking the question, "what to do when your marriage is over"?

But your marriage is not over and there is much to be done, and no time to waste, if you really want to save your marriage.

5 Critical Tips For What To Do When Your Marriage is Falling Apart:

1. Don't Panic! While you must realize the seriousness of the situation, you also need to keep your head about you and formulate a well thought-out action plan for rescuing your marriage. This is a time when you cannot afford to let your emotions get out of control. Stay away from letting your imagination run wild with all the negative outcome scenarios. Now is the time to focus, be positive and decide how you are going to save your marriage. This is going to require a lot of mental toughness. You must find a way to remain positive in the midst of all the stress and anxiety - make up your mind that failure is not an option. Promise yourself that you will do everything within your power and ability to save your marriage.

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2. Do an Honest Self- Assessment. This is where you critique yourself and every element of your life and marriage and pin-point the problems, habits, issues and concerns that have attributed to bringing your marriage to the edge of collapse. This is a time of intense and brutally honest introspection and reflection. You will do yourself no favors by smoothing things over here or by justifying your words and actions that have damaged your relationship. There can be no healing without first admitting your mistakes and wrong-doing. Take note... this self-assessment time is precisely that - SELF-assessment. It has nothing to do with your spouse. It is about discovering what YOU have done wrong, coming to terms with it, then taking the initiative and changing those destructive habits and behaviors. This will include implementing new, healthy patterns in your thinking, speaking and acting. Do not overlook this step when deciding what to do when your marriage is falling apart.

3. Seek and Offer Forgiveness. There can be no healing and moving on in a marriage if forgiveness is not part of the equation. Forgiveness is perhaps the most integral element to the puzzling question of, "what to do when your marriage is falling apart?" What you must know about forgiveness is that it cannot be earned, deserved or demanded. It is to be offered freely and without condition. No matter what happens with your marriage, it is always a win-win situation when you choose to forgive. It frees you from the hurt and pain, the bitterness and anger, the resentment and animosity - all the un-checked negative emotions towards your spouse that have built up over the years. Once you offer complete and unconditional forgiveness, I promise you, you will feel like a massive weight has been lifted off your shoulders.

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4. Get Help. Time is of the essence. You have already let things slide for too long and that is why your relationship is where it is. As you deal with the dilemma of what to do when your marriage is falling apart, you may need help in drawing up a productive and effective action-plan. If you feel too overwhelmed and don't have a good support system to depend on, you may want to seek the help of a counselor or perhaps start with a marriage saving program. There are some excellent on-line marriage counseling courses that are reasonably priced and offer great value in terms of professional quality and advice. Whatever you decide, don't let your pride stand in the way - your marriage hangs in the balance.

5. Love - Just Love! Sounds too simple doesn't it? But the kind of love I'm talking about takes diligence and commitment. You see love, true love, is not an emotion, it doesn't come and go, it's not on again - off again. Love is a mindset, a moment-by-moment conscious decision that we must choose to live in. If you underestimate this concept of love as you contemplate what to do when your marriage is falling apart you will completely undermine and sabotage the very foundation of marriage! Consider this time-honored description of love, and as you meditate on it strive with all that is in you to begin applying it to your marriage today:

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always, trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. LOVE NEVER FAILS..."

Pay Close Attention Here-

Now listen carefully! Take 2 minutes to read the next page and you'll discover a stunning trick which will make your spouse love you for the rest of their lives even if they are this close to walking out the door. There is a set of easy to follow psychological tricks which will save your marriage and get you back to that place you once were - in love, committed and excited about the future - within a few days guaranteed. I strongly urge you to read everything on the next page before it's too late and time runs out- Click Here

It's 6:05 pm and the phone rings. Your wife notices her husband's office number and thinks, "Great, another late dinner, he hasn't even left yet. With traffic, he'll be another 35 minutes." Those thoughts impact her tone when she says, "Hello," and soon her husband is wondering why he even bothered to call. This classic discussion portrays two major differences in the way men and women think that negatively impacts marriages all across the country. Neither husband nor wife fully understands the conflict, but with a few small changes on the wife's part, a significant impact could be made in the relationship.

What most married women in America fail to realize is that their husbands consider providing for their families their top priority - regardless of whether or not their wife works. In a recent Decision Analyst survey, 78% of men said that even if their wife earned enough to support the family, they still felt a compulsion to provide. Anecdotal comments indicated that men felt confused and frustrated by their wives' communications, as well. Wanting new carpet, a new car, a remodeled kitchen, etc., but expecting their husbands not to work long hours was frustrating for the men. Many felt that they worked so much because they loved their wives and wanted to provide for their families. Some 71% of husbands said the responsibility to provide was always or often on their minds. Only 3% never thought about providing for their families as being the reason they worked.

So if the majority of husbands are working to demonstrate love and are feeling responsible to provide, whether their wives work or not, what then, should wives be doing to encourage and support them? Instead of thinking that husbands care more about work than them, wives should be finding ways to encourage and appreciate their husbands. According to the study, 61% of men feel unappreciated at work - while wives cannot impact how their husbands feel at work, they should be making them feel appreciated and welcomed at home - especially since in the man's mind, his efforts are primarily for his family. Following are some of three of the excellent ideas that wives have implemented in Daughters of Sarah(TM) to facilitate a more harmonious relationship with their husbands.

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Tip 1: Avoid Panic by Being Prepared

Corinna starts dinner early in the day in an effort to avoid the "It's 4:00pm - What's for Dinner Panic." She plans her menu for the week on Sunday afternoon and runs to the grocery on Sunday night so each weeknight she's prepared with dinner options. She gives her kids a snack so they aren't famished by dinner time. She puts on some calming music and sets her husband's newspaper by his chair. Just a few minutes of preparations and the environment in the home is calm and welcoming for her husband's return.

Tip 2: Save the List for Later

Diane noticed a huge change in her husband's demeanor when she stopped unloading all the troubles of the day upon him when he came through the door. Instead of inundating him with the list of who hit whom, and who had to be where by when, and, "Honey, you need to help junior with his math;" she stopped whatever she was doing, gave him a welcome home kiss and hug, and then left him alone to sit down and read his newspaper. After dinner they discussed the items of the day and Diane found her husband much more interested and eager to respond when she created an environment for him to "detox" from his day.

Tip 3: Be the Welcoming Committee

Carol's husband said that after he had spent 10-12 hours at work and 20-30 minutes fighting traffic, he often felt like he was returning from the battle field. One of the biggest changes he noticed in their marriage was when Carol started paying attention to his coming in the door each day. "When you're exhausted and stressed out, it's nice to have someone acknowledge your return. It may sound corny, but when the soldiers return from battle and they're greeted, it means a lot. It (the way she greets me) makes me feel important and like what I've been doing all day matters."

Bottom Line: Want your husband to be home more? Create an environment he can't wait to enter into!

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Both husbands and wives are sometimes guilty of comparing their spouse to another man or woman that they admire, doing this can be detrimental to your marriage because what it shows is that you are only focusing on your spouse's weakness and not their strength and what you focus on will magnify.

By comparing your spouse to another man or woman, you are in a way saying to your spouse that they are not good enough. It is a reflection of a judgmental and critical spirit that you might posses.

Comparing your spouse to someone else will make them feel inadequate, they will begin to feel like they are not good enough, they will feel disrespected and humiliated, and it can even lead to your spouse having a low and poor self-esteem.

Your spouse might even begin to resent the person they are being compared to if it is a mutual friend. They may even begin to challenge the person they are being compared to in order to prove their worth, or show that this person they are being compared to is not better than them.

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You must learn to see and celebrate the uniqueness of your spouse. You must learn to help them in the area of their weaknesses but not dwell on their weakness. You must train yourself to see the strengths and qualities of your spouse and focus on those things.

Only think of things that are good, admirable, virtuous, and exciting about your spouse. When you focus on the strengths of your spouse there will be no need to compare them to someone else. The fact is that the person that you are comparing them to will also have their flaws, you just haven't gotten close enough to them to see it.

Everyone is different; we all have different capabilities and gifts that are unique to us as individuals. You cannot therefore compare two different people and expect them to match up. Even the most identical of twins have their differences. Expecting your spouse to be like somebody else will only lead to disappointments. Learn to accept and respect your spouse for who and what they are.

Don't compare your spouse to an ex-boyfriend or an ex-girlfriend. If your ex was so perfect why didn't you marry them instead? Surely there were qualities you saw in your spouse when you decided to commit the rest of your life to them. May be you need to revisit and remind yourself of those qualities.

Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

Author's Bio: 

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There are specific techniques that will show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your spouse back in your arms- Especially if you are the only one trying... Visit Save The Marriage to find out more.

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