Husband Drinks Too Much On Weekends: Husband Binge Drinks Every Weekend

Does your spouse show signs of alcoholism? In other words, does your spouse need more and more alcohol to feel "buzzed" or intoxicated? Here are 5 common signs of alcoholism addiction:

1. Does he/she drink to relax?

2. Does your alcoholic spouse get defensive if you bring up drinking?

3. Has your spouse tried to quit alcohol and failed?

4. Does your spouse suffer alcohol withdrawal if he/she tries to quit drinking?

5. Does your spouse have trouble with marriage relationships, problems with parenting, and possibly work?

Here is a typical case from my psychiatry practice:

S.L is a 35 year old man. He comes to me for problems with anxiety and depression. He is a successful lawyer. However, he complains of experiencing panic symptoms when he presents in front of a jury. His anxiety is interfering with his career and he wants medication for this. Although I prescribed medication, he did not have a robust response and here is the reason why. His wife called me one day and told me her husband has been drinking every night for 2 years. Initially, he drank a beer to relax after work. This number has increased over time to 6-8 beers in the evening. S.L is alcohol dependent. Alcohol is counteracting his medication. His alcohol dependence must be addressed.

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How serious is his alcohol problem, anyway? There are 4 stages of alcoholism addiction.

Early Stage: The typical early stage starts out as drinking to unwind. Drinking becomes an escape and is used to boost mood or relieve stress. S. L. is drinking to relax to "forget his troubles".

Middle Stage: The middle stage is defined as needing to drink more and more to get the same "buzz". Your alcoholic spouse will not admit a drinking problem to you, but he/she has thought about it a lot. His/her brain is alcohol dependent. In other words, alcohol withdrawal symptoms such as insomnia and shakiness occurs if he/she tries to quit drinking. Black outs and hangovers are common. S.L fits into this category.

Late Stage: This stage is very serious. Your alcoholic spouse has become obsessed with drinking alcohol. Nothing else matters. Often your alcoholic husband or alcoholic wife will become malnourished (vitamin B1 deficiency). Liver problems, pancreas problems, anemia and neurological problems may occur. Legal problems are common. Marital stress is a given. At this point, your alcoholic spouse has withdrawn and spends his/her time both drinking and seeking alcohol. A medical professional needs to be involved in "detoxing" your alcoholic spouse or he/she could die going through alcohol withdrawal.

Alcoholism is a chronic, progressive disease. Early intervention is very important. In the late stages of alcoholism addiction, the brain has become so alcohol dependent, it will be much tougher for your alcoholic spouse to overcome the brains' alcohol cravings. Going to Al-Anon is a great first step for you to get some support and tools to deal with this family disease. Do not procrastinate. The longer you wait, the tougher the recovery for your alcoholic spouse.

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Problems-with-marriages equals pain-in-hearts! And it's not just the married couples that get hurt, so do the children. But you don't have to let this happen. You can stop the problems with or without your spouse's immediate cooperation.

Of course, if both of you will work on your marriage together, it would be much better. But if not, don't wait for your spouse. You can make changes and do things that can save your marriage and your family. It is not unusual for one person to start doing the right things only to find their spouse changing as a result.

Problems With Marriages And How To Fix Them

First things first. The most important thing to remember is that marriage problems will not fix themselves. You will have to do something. You will have to take action...and make some personal changes.

Without a willingness to change, there can be no improvement in your marriage. Someone once said that the definition of insanity is to continually do the same things in the same way, and then wonder why things aren't changing. Change is good!

Okay, so that brings us to the root of all marriage problems and how to fix it:

Unwillingness To Change

Most couples don't realize it, but when they got married two completely different worlds and cultures came together: male and female. They talk different, they think different, they mean different things when they say the same things, different things are important to each of them, and they have different ideas on what is important and how things should be done.

Before getting married the differences seem wonderful. Viva la difference!

Once your married, the two worlds collide and the conflict begins. That's normal and has been going on for thousands of years. However, if you want to have a happy, successful marriage, both of you have to change in order to blend your worlds into one happy, loving relationship.

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An unwillingness to change in order to accommodate your spouse's needs is childish and selfish. When both spouses are willing to change in order to accommodate the other's needs...that's real love!

As an example, before my wife and I got married, I had a lot to learn. My wife wanted to be treated like a lady and thought that I should open the door for her. I thought, "Her arm isn't broken, she can open her own door." Yup, I was that stupid...and I had to change.

My wife and I have been married for 44 years and are still in love. We enjoy going places together and doing things for each other. But it wasn't always easy...we have made a lot of changes in the way we treat and talk to each other, and it has been well worth it!

Problems in marriages can be eliminated by an unselfish desire to make your spouse happy and a willingness to change in order to do so. Here are a few changes you can make right away that will obliterate those marriage problems and bring in the love:

1. Stop criticizing and start complementing. Don't even allow yourself to think critically of your spouse. Criticism can become a bad habit that will kill the love in your marriage.

2. Stop arguing and start doing random acts of kindness. Doing acts of kindness is the only real way to show your spouse that you love him or her. Love must be seen to be real. Aim for one act of kindness a day to start. Even if it is just to get your spouse an unsolicited cup of coffee. Then watch the love grow.

3. Replace rudeness with romance! Yes! Plan to go out on a date once a week. Go to a restaurant just to sit together and talk over a cup of coffee or whatever you like. How about some flowers for your wife or a love note on a napkin for your husband to tell him how much you appreciate him.

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If your marriage and relationship aren't where they should be, then you need help right away. Millions of people are in the same situation; they can't seem to find a definitive solution to help them with their marital problems. The main reason that most people don't find a helpful solution is because they don't know where to look. You've obviously taken the initiative by beginning to read this article, but what I mean is that most couples with these kinds of problems don't open themselves up enough to see real results. You need to be willing to do whatever it takes to start getting your marriage back to where it should be.

Doing this one simple exercise could help your marriage a lot. Just imagine what things were like when you first got married to this person. How did you both feel? Was it a happy time? Often by examining what we were doing right, we can find out what we are doing that is so wrong right now. Obviously you married this person for a reason, so what was it? Asking these questions is important in ultimately saving your marriage and getting it back on track.

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One very important thing to remember to constantly do is to communicate. Couples that are having the most problems don't talk with each other as much as they should, or they don't really have deep and meaningful conversations. You can talk about how your day was, but when it comes down to it you need to start revealing how you feel to this other person and letting them know that you care. Without doing this, your partner will think that you could care less if the marriage fails and end up filing for divorce, which is the absolute last thing that anyone involved wants.

Marriage problems can be the hardest thing a person can ever experience.

If you are having issues with your marriage and are considering divorce, I know exactly how you feel.

My husband and I were going through similar problems recently, and I thought our marriage could never be saved. We were so close to divorce, I actually had the divorce papers already filled out!

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There are hundreds of marriage self-help books on "How to save your marriage" available to help couples stop divorce. Yet, the divorce rate seems to be on the uptrend. It is because the advices on those self-help books are bunk? No!

How to save your marriage can only be successfully achieved if you change your approach to handling your marriage problems.

Stop criticizing!

Every one of us is a critique. Do not verbally attack your spouse just because they do something you do not like. It is better if you tell them in a non-judgmental way. It will definitely make your life more pleasant.

Always rule out divorce!

Your marriage is on the rocks. Yes, you and your spouse discussed about divorce. Yet, it is something neither of you really want. If that is the case, banish talk about divorce in your conversations. If you consider divorce as not an option, stop even mentioning it. Do not make the mistake of using divorce as a threat. Divorce is more likely to become a reality if you bring up the subject often. It will be an option you might regret later.

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No one is perfect - accept that your spouse is imperfect!

As newlyweds, ignoring all the annoying habits of your spouse was easy. Your spouse forgot to pick up their clothes, your spouse forgot to call when they are late or your partner forgot to fill the gas tank. Once upon a time, you can just close an eye. However, the irritation on such behavior starts to build up over the years. Remember, your spouse is not perfect. You may have some annoying habits too. So, the next time your spouse does something that irritates you, pause before you jump. Consider if those behaviors are really that serious. If they are not, let it go.

Always remember to respect your spouse!

Remember when you and your spouse first dated or during the early years of the marriage. You are polite to each other. You said "thank you" and "please" often. You and your spouse will politely and patiently resolve any disagreements. However, over the years, those actions are forgotten because we take our spouse for granted. For you to try and save your marriage, both of you must get back to that level of respect you had for each other.

Take time to learn and understand more about your spouse!

Your spouse is a unique individual. Take time to understand the way your spouse approach the marriage and the relationship. Keep an open mind. You may have been married for a long time. It does not mean you know everything about your spouse.

It does not have to be complicated when you are trying to figure out how to save your marriage. Relying on the free information available on the internet is not enough. Not all fundamentals are addressed in self-help books written by professional marriage counselors. Whatever you do, make sure you start with a good foundation when you are trying to save your marriage. Most importantly take action.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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