It is part of the human experience for someone to spend time asleep and time awake. One way of looking at this would be to say that they will then spend part of their life being and part of their life doing.

At the same time, this wouldn’t be completely accurate as there will need to be moments when they are able to just be when they are awake. By being able to do this, they will be able to relax and recharge.

The Main Point

What this lustrates is that they are a human being, not a human doing, which is why they are not here to act like a robot. But, even if they were a robot, they would still need to be recharged and repaired every now and then, taking away their ability to do anything.

It is by being able to just be, that they will have the strength and the energy that they need to really do. Having both of these sides, then, will allow them to behave in a balanced manner and decrease their chances of burning themselves out.

Another Reality

Hoverer, while having both of these abilities is essential when it comes to living a fulfilling life, it doesn’t mean that everyone on this planet is in this position. What can be normal is for someone to spend most of their life in doing mode.

As a result of this, practically from the moment they wake up, they could be on the go and this can be how they are until the moment they go to bed. If it was an option, they might not even go to bed.

Their Outlook

What they could say, if they were asked why they are practically always on the go, is that life is too short to sit around. They could also say that they have so much to do and if they slow down, they won’t get everything done.

If they were to see people who do take it easy now and then or who don’t work very hard, they could end up judging them. They could say to themselves that these people are wasting their life or are lazy.

No Different

And, if they were to go on holiday or just took some time off, it is highly unlikely that they would truly be able to let go and relax. If they were able to change their inner state, it could be something that takes place artificially.

For example, after having a few glasses of alcohol, they might be able to feel more at ease. In this case, part of them will feel more at ease, while another part of them will still be just as tense as they were before.

One Mode

Like a car that only has one gear, they will also only have one gear. If they are not functioning at this level, they will soon feel agitated and will feel compelled to go back to how they were before.

Yet, regardless of whether or not this allows them to achieve a lot, there is likely to be a point when they are unable to behave in this way. This could be because they end up exhausted or they might have a breakdown.


Still, this doesn’t mean that they will just be able to accept what is going on and will no longer have the need to do as much. They can still feel the need to behave in the same way.

Being unable to do as much can cause them to feel very low and perhaps, deeply depressed. It will be clear that how they were behaving is not serving them but for some reason, they won’t feel as good as they did before.

What’s going on?

If they have been in doing mode for as long as they can remember, it could show that their early years were not very nurturing. One or both of their parents might have been emotionally unavailable and unable to be there for them.

This would then have been a time when they were deprived of the love that they needed to grow and develop in the right way. Not receiving what they needed would have greatly wounded them.


This pain, along with a number of their needs, would have ended up being repressed. But, although their need to be loved would have been pushed out of their conscious awareness, it would still have had an impact on their life.

To help keep this pain at bay and for them to try to be loved by their parent or parents, they would have gone into doing mode. What would have played a part in this is that they would have personalised what took place as they were egocentric.

A Futile pursuit

By blaming themselves for how their parent or parents behaved, they would have believed that if they tried hard enough, they would finally be loved. If they faced up to the fact that their parent or parents were simply unable to love them, this would be too much for them to handle.

How they feel, when they are not in doing mode, will be how they felt when they were not loved very early on. For them to put their struggle for love to an end and be able to just be, they will need to face the pain that they were unable to fully feel all those years ago.


If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, inner child and inner awareness. With over three thousand, two hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

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