How to talk to your addicted partner

Addictions carry a little known background: communication. Talking with an addict can be a great effort. On many occasions, those who are addicted can become aggressive if they do not get what they want, or they can lie compulsively to achieve their purposes. Therefore, it is essential to be patient and know how to deal with someone suffering from some kind of addiction.

In the same way that there are different addictions, there are also different ways of being. Thus, communication will vary depending on each person and the type of addiction. However, this problem becomes even greater when the addict is your partner, since sadness, anger and chaos will be a constant. What can we do in these cases? Here you can know more what to say to an addict!

He is sick and needs help

If you are in this case, the first thing you should do is not judge your partner harshly. Although it is difficult for you, remember that an addiction is a disease and when we judge the addict, it gets deeper into that problem. It is not that we are weak or cowardly and that is why we accept it, but that we seek to give it the stability that allows it to combat its loneliness and addiction. Although, above all you must ensure your safety and that of your children.

Talk when the person is in a position to do so

A very common mistake is trying to talk to an addicted person when intoxicated. Unfortunately, during this stage your partner cannot understand what you say, you will be prey to your feelings and the next day he will have forgotten the discussion. Cases of violence usually occur just at this time because of the loss of control of the two people. Ideally, wait until your partner is conscious to talk, and also try to have someone close to control him if he gets violent.

Establishing a cordial and calm climate will be important to keep a deep talk about the problem. Promote a calm and smooth environment will help our partner feel calmer. Offering our support and help will be a key point so you know that you are not alone. Similarly, we can also offer you the possibility of going to a professional.

Keep a simple conversation

When I'm calm you can start the conversation with something similar to "I need to talk, please listen to me without interrupting." Don't worry if it sounds like an order, in reality, this phrase will help you attract your attention. Then explain the situation in a simple way: "You were late last night, drunk, you woke up the children and scared them." From this moment you can express your feelings: fears for your children, for you as a couple, etc.

It is advisable to express myself calmly, without alterations or raising your voice. The addicted person can respond unpredictably to hostile environments, so it will be important to speak from sincerity, directly but tactfully.

Tell the truth
Do not lie or say things that you will not fulfill, such as that you will leave the house. You better talk to him about the concern that you and your children have for him or her and your health. If you have made the decision to break this relationship, you must explain when you will do it and if there is any possibility of reconciliation later.

Lying with threats that will never be met is just one more way to extend the situation. Your partner will be aware that it is a manipulation technique that you never carry out, so before speaking it is convenient to know that what we will say will be true.

Don't fall for the promises game
It is very common for addicts to promise what their partner wants to hear. However, you must stand firm and not allow your promises to envelop you. Believing him and giving him new opportunities will make you addicted to a couple who at the moment cannot give you a quality relationship.

Talk to an addict: complicated task
It will never be easy to talk to your partner if he is an addict. You will be scared, hurt and disillusioned by the whole situation, but when you start a conversation you will help him take the first step. Remember that you can help him get ahead, but you can never decide for him. Inviting him to ask for professional help can be a great idea.