If your normal like me, you often make decisions not realizing that they’re being generated by your past. We don’t choose to do this, we don’t intend to do this, it just happens, as if we have no say about who we are and how we live our lives. But you do have a say about who you become and how you live your life.

Because we wake up in the morning and we’re alive i.e. were breathing, we can see and hear, we believe that we are present. The reality are we truly present? For many of us, the answer is no. If you really took the time to look behind your thoughts, behavior and decisions, we would all find that to not be true.

The reason why it’s so important to pay attention to what our self-image is all about, is because your self-image is the blueprint for your life. It’s the foundation of who you are, who you become and everything you do.

So, how does our self-image get developed? Well, it happens over a period of time, dating back to our childhood. Like death and taxes, we all have a past. It’s our past experiences that help to shape our self-image. Our past events alone are not what damages our behavior in the present, it’s how we’ve interpreted these events in our past, that becomes detrimental today.

We take the data from our interpretation and carry it forward into our present. Then, when a similar event occurs in our present, we revert back to our past data and wha-la, we’re living in the past. We just don’t know it because it’s become the norm. I call it "automatic pilot." This is how your self-image colors your world.

It’s a process that we experience every day and for many of us, we’re not even aware that we do it. But there is an answer to changing how we see ourselves and allow it to impact our life.

1) Don’t fear change - before you can change anything in your life, you need to embrace change. Don’t look at it with fear and doubt, rather embrace it as the friend that it can be. Disconnecting from change does not allow you to recapture your past, only to lose your future.

2) Accept the fact that you’re not perfect - none of us are because life is a journey not a destination. Until we are all born with a crystal ball, instead of a brain, we’re going to make mistakes in life. Understand that you can fail at things but that does not make you a failure.

3) Forgive yourself - before you can move forward you need to clean up the mess you left behind. Come to terms with your past. It’s hard to do nice things for people you don’t like, including yourself. Once you forgive yourself for mistakes, bad decisions etc. you’ll begin to like yourself again. From there, the like will turn into self-love. Once you love yourself as you should, you’ll begin to live life, as it’s meant to be lived. You can't give to someone else, what you can't give to yourself.

4) Be aware - you need to learn to become more observant and watchful. By Being Aware you will learn to watch, observe and be a witness to your simple acts but more importantly, to your thoughts and behavior. Once you learn how to be more aware, pay special attention to the thoughts and behaviors from your past events that are negative. Don’t judge them or criticize yourself, just be watchful and acknowledge when an old negative thought or behavior rears it’s ugly head.

Being aware at the thought and behavior level, will allow you to begin to change your actions and results. Initially, because this discipline is new, you may find yourself not catching yourself until you reach the action or result level. Be patient and persistent, over time you will begin to catch yourself earlier in the behavioral process. Over time, you will be amazed at the difference this will have in your life.

Only you have the power to change your life, no one else. Until you accept this concept and take responsibility for your life, nothing will change. The sooner you stop holding others accountable for who you are, the sooner you will begin to live a fulfilled life.

Author's Bio: 

Larry Agresto is a Life & Success Coach and the founder of Peak Performance Coaching.
He is also a writer, author and speaker. His work and writings focus on change and transformation. His latest work “The Power of Magical Thinking,” is about empowering people to realize their “true potential,” enabling them to live the fulfilled life they’ve always hoped for.

Shifting from the “automatic pilot”behavior of negative past experiences and limited thinking, one becomes capable of being truly present once again. In doing so, we begin to experience the unlimited thinking of the present moment, which in turn empowers the opportunity for unlimited possibilities into our lives.

He has written several e-books; “The Principles of Success, The Journey, What’s Stopping You and The 21 Day Breakthrough.” His latest e-book is entitled “The Power of Magical Thinking.”

Think Magic

Larry Agresto
Life & Success Coach
Peak Performance Coaching
(978) 649-1020