In counseling with married folks, they could sometimes assume that the counselor doesn't really grasp the issues they are encountering. One question I usually reserve for couples who think their marriage issues are just too much is this: Are you the only ones facing this or the only couple to have ever gone through these?

For lot's of folks, how to survive an affair isn't something they think can be learned. It has always been a helpful tactic to bring them in contact with another couple who went through something similar and came out stronger.

No problems facing any marriage today is unique to them. No marriage counselor would come across your case and say he or she had never encountered it before unless that counselor just started practicing. Any effort put in by a marriage counselor would not be effective except the main people involved in the matter are willing to do all that's required.

I have seen lot's of situations where one of the couple almost forces the other for them to go for marriage counseling. What this translates to is a couple where one has a desire to fix the marriage and the other thinks otherwise. In lot's of cases, the forced partner thinks they are wasting their time. With this mindset, nothing major can be achieved.

Any therapist with experience would know not to continue except he or she has been able to draw out the unwilling spouse. This spouse has to be a part of the process otherwise it would really be a waste of time.

It's not our desire here to attempt to find out what causes extra marital affairs. No excuse or reason should ever be enough to approve infidelity. I am aware that there are situations that would almost be justifiable. Saying this brings to mind a childless couple I knew some years back. They had gone for tests and nothing was said to be wrong with either of them.

For some strange reasons, the woman continued to feel her husband was the cause of their childlessness. She continued blaming the husband for their failure to have children. Finally tired of the insinuations, the man had an affair and got the woman pregnant. It is a good thing that they were able to work things out and save their marriage. The woman however doesn't have a child yet, but she never accuses her husband again.

As we attempt to talk about how to survive an affair, I feel a need to more importantly discuss how to avoid one. If you can prevent an extra marital affair in your marriage, you wouldn't have to learn how to survive one.

The most important tool I recommend to every marriage is communication. Any couple that really communicates with themselves wouldn't find a challenge they can't take care of. When there is no communication, things are stored up in the heart until they pour out like a volcanic eruption.

Every challenge and problem that you encounter would be smoothly resolved when you as a couple communicate very well.

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One way you can learn how to survive an affair in your marriage is by signing up for marriage counseling.