How To Resolve Conflict In Marriage: Avoiding Conflict In Marriage

Many couples experience rainy weather in their relationship at one point or another in their lives.

This is very natural since there are a lot of aspects that can develop common relationship problems and disputes in between couples and sometimes, nobody wants to pave the way.

This is where most of the relationship issues begin, when both partners do not recognize their faults and imperfections, and both are attempting to point out that they are best and it is always the other who is incorrect.

Disputes should never be reason enough to end a relationship. There are still easy ways to heal a relationship and effective rekindling the old love.

Interact with your Partner

Interaction is among the most effective keys to complete a relationship rescue strategy.

Because increasingly more couples these days breakup without even acknowledging the real reason things go wrong, this must considered on the to-do list of how to fix the broken marriage.

That's why family counseling can open newer doors for seeing the light in repairing the relationship issues.

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Partners need to talk things over and voice out their sides and open up their grudges prior to being far too late when things are getting rather out of hand.

Through interaction, both will have a clear image of exactly what is going on, why the conflict is happening, and exactly what relationship rescue approaches can be done to exceed this duration.

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When to Keep Quiet

Silence could not be the best solution for a reliable relationship rescue, but it does contribute a lot so a relationship struggle doesn't worsen.

Frequently, when couples are having conflicts, they have the tendency to talk excessively and say things that can be hurtful, thus they disregard one of the most important parts of a relationship which is listening.

When to keep quiet and peaceful throughout a heated argument is something couples need to learn, because it's always best not to raise voices, yell at each other, and worse, resort to physical violence to silence the other.

When both are angry, they must let their heavy emotions subside first before speaking because typically, a mad person speaks even without sense and never takes any reason.

Spend some Time Alone at Times

Previously I discussed and reviewed the many tidbits and free advice available online for saving the marriage or a love relationship when both parties are willing and ready to heal.

If communication and keeping silence did not work as part of the relationship rescue plan, having time to be alone could be a good thing to do for the meantime.

Conflicts have two impacts: one is to reinforce the relationship and two is to break the relationship.

If these disputes repeat in circles every day, the tendency is that both partners will be fed up, and thus the very first thing that concerns their mind as a solution is to end the relationship.

If both have some space for a while and try to reassess their sensations and recognize where their errors are, this can be avoided.

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Give some Space

When he or she is not around, this can be a reliable common relationship problems solution due to the fact that in some cases individuals realize the importance of their partner.

These are some of the effective ways that couples can do in order to achieve an effective relationship rescue and rekindling the old love.

Both partners need to recognize that ending the relationship is not always a good path to take just to end a dispute, however rather follow these relationship rescue techniques to resolve them.

With all these things in mind, no matter what common relationship problems can be found in the relationship, both partners can get through these and make their relationship even stronger.

Finding Strength

Try to remember that unsettled arguments and disputes have a few effects, and one is to strengthen the relationship and open each other's eyes, and another is to end the relationship.

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Both partners need to realize that leaving the relationship is many times not the best solution to end a conflict, however instead follow these marriage tips to solve them.

With all these things in mind, no matter what common relationship problems creep in, both partners can get through these and make rekindling the old love even more powerful.

Try to look at the strong components for healing a love problem so that a wonderful relationship is lived.

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So you think there's no way you can stop your divorce. You can't talk without screaming at each other. You hate the sight of each other. You never see each other, you're up before he's up and asleep by the time he comes back from his "overtime", probably with that hussy in his office.

As far as you're concerned, it's over, finito, the end. And besides, you both have retained lawyers to get the divorce proceedings going.

But, if there's still some glimmer of hope left, if deep down inside you still love each other, can you still stop your divorce at this late stage? The marriage experts will tell you yes, and that it is indeed possible to stop your divorce and turn your marriage around, no matter how impossible it all looks right now. Here's what they say you must do --

1. Call off the lawyers

The lawyers are retained to get the divorce done and settled. If your marriage has any chance of saving, your first act is to sack all the lawyers. Do it or lose it.

2. Declare your willingness to work together

As in any situation where a relationship has dramatically fallen apart or doesn't even exist for all intents and purposes, you will need to put in the effort to work together to make the relationship work again. How willing you are to really work together will determine whether you will succeed or merely make things worse.

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3. Focus on making things right again, not what is making it wrong

If you are indeed on the brink of divorce, then you both probably have a massive list of what's wrong with the marriage and with each other. This is exactly what you need to put aside to turn the marriage around and stop your divorce.

Instead, go through this exercise -- each of you take pen and paper, go to different corners of the room, and start listing down why the marriage works, what you like or love about it and your spouse, and what you think you can achieve together from now on as husband and wife. In other words, look to what the future holds for you.

4. List out all the issues and what you need to do with each

This is where you can both pull out and constructively make use of that "what's wrong with this marriage and my husband/wife" list of issues you have. You will have to literally work at each item until you resolve it. No exceptions. The possible solutions are -- dropping it altogether because the issue just doesn't seem important anymore, coming to an agreement that both of you can accept, one or both of you compromising on your stand, or agreeing to disagree on something. Again, no exceptions. Everything must be discussed and resolved.

5. Start everyday with a a marriage "renovation plan"

Everyday at breakfast, you both need to decide what you're going to do that day based on the issue resolution discussion you had. You will each need to fulfill the completion of whatever actions you commit to do that day that will help the marriage heal. This could be as crucial as being less critical of your spouse and his or her views, or as trivial as agreeing to change the way you mess up the bedroom when dressing for work.

6. Call in the marriage counselors

Understand that you will only be able to do so much to mend the marriage because you are both too close to the situation. If you can, once you call off the lawyers, call in the marriage counselors or therapists. Expert help is instrumental in saving almost every marriage that has pulled back from the brink of divorce.

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Have you ever dealt with a recurring sickness that over-the-counter medicines or home remedies couldn't cure? It seems like you're enduring the same problem that causes the same pain which leaves you feeling helpless. At some point you're ready to pick up the phone and make a doctor's appointment, with the expectation that your physician will diagnose and treat your ailment properly.

This can also be the case with marriage. Many couples endure conflict, frustration, and major stress in their relationships because they're trying to solve their problems on their own.

God's plan for your marriage is that you and your spouse will prosper in your relationship to ultimately become an example for other married couples. (Matthew 5:13)

If this is the case, then why aren't you prospering in your marriage relationship?

A lot of problems can be solved when you humble yourself and go to God in prayer. In addition to prayer it's also important to:

• Wait to hear God's voice after you pray. It's so easy to talk to other people, but a lot of times the advice we receive is either non-biblical, or inappropriate for your particular situation.
• Work on your personal issues that could be hindering your marriage.
• Recommit your heart to God and your spouse.
• Repent and make the decision to approach your marriage from God's perspective from now on. You can do this by finding a book on marriage that speaks to your specific situation(s). I would also suggest reading and studying the Scriptures within the book. You may also need to read more than one book. Some books that have helped me in my marriage include:

1. The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
2. The Language of Sex by Gary Smalley
3. Maximize Your Marriage by B. Courtney McBath

If you've tried these things and you're still considering divorce, I'd like to ask you one question, have you tried marriage counseling?

If your answer is no, then you may need to reconsider looking at this option.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

Here are four reasons why you should consider marital counseling:

1) You can't communicate effectively with your spouse.
In order for any close knit relationship to work, the parties involved must be able to talk to one another. While many couples have solved their problems by talking, others need a third unbiased party to mediate.

2) You never received pre-marital counseling.
Many married couples whether by choice or ignorance elected not to go through marriage counseling because they thought they knew each other well enough. However, it's important to understand that while you may have known your mate since elementary school, for instance, marriage takes your friendship/dating to an entirely new level. You're taking two individuals and combining their histories, their perspectives, their personal beliefs, and their issues. Good, biblical pre-marital counseling enables men and women to come together, learn God's perspective, and apply it to every area of their marriage relationship. In addition, if you need counseling, there's nothing wrong with doing it after you're married.

3) You have recurring issues that you can't solve on your own.
There are many areas that can cause recurring conflicts in marriage. Some examples include: a woman's obsessive shopping, a man's struggle with pornography, meddling in-laws, a lack of sex, etc.

For instance, if one spouse loses his/her job, then both could become so preoccupied with paying the mortgage, the car note, utilities, etc. that they lose the desire to make love. This gives rise to another problem because it could cause an emotional and physical disconnect between the couple. If these types of problems continue to occur without being addressed, then this will put so much pressure on your relationship, that it can cave in and ultimately end in divorce.

4) You're ready to give up on your relationship.
Sometimes your emotions can cause you to say and do things you will regret later. If you can't make a rational decision about what to do with your marriage and you can't effectively communicate with your spouse, you definitely need to talk with a professional Christian counselor who will give you sound, unbiased, biblical advice.

Should you see a marriage counselor? While you may never have considered seeking marriage counseling, you may want to look at this option. When you made your vows, you made them to your husband and to God. If you've gone to God, and you haven't seen any positive results, you should consider counseling. In addition, if you can't communicate with your husband, you've never received counseling, or you have recurring issues that need to be resolved, do your part to fix your marriage by seeking marriage counseling.

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There are a number of things that are common in troubled marriages which can propel the marriage toward divorce. They are:

· Lack of Communication - One or both spouses get caught up in their own individual lives, and either forget to communicate with the other person, or reach a point where they no longer know how. Often the person may feel he or she is doing a good job of communicating but the partner feels totally the opposite.

· Lack of Intimacy - This can especially happen after children come into the picture. The couple gradually becomes parents rather than partners. The dynamics of the relationship changes, often to the point where they don't know each other anymore.

· Financial Crises - Poor spending habits, job losses, leaving beyond ones means and disagreements about money is one of the most often cited problems couples point to.

· Infidelity - Being unfaithful is the ultimate act of betrayal and can be one of the most difficult issues to resolve.

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· Addictions - Alcoholism, drug abuse, gambling etc. can take a horrible toll on a marriage.

· Physical & Verbal Abuse - The toll physical abuse takes is obvious, but verbal abuse can be almost as destructive. It can rob a spouse of self-esteem, confidence and desire to be with their partner.

While it's true that few marriages have all of these problems, any one of these will take it's toll on the relationship and can eventually lead it to divorce. Before you can learn how to save a broken marriage it is vital that you know certain myths surrounding marriage repair:

1. Learning new communication skills - FALSE

2. It takes both partners to fix the marriage - FALSE

3. All marriages are fixed the same way - FALSE

4. You can avoid divorce by begging, apologizing and making promises - FALSE

By avoiding these mistakes, you place yourself in a much better position to take the action steps necessary to create revolutionary change in your relationship and learn how to save a broken marriage.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

Author's Bio: 

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