by : Toronto Life Coach Giovanni Maccarrone B.A., C.L.C.

Definition: Social anxiety is the strong fear that we won’t be part of the group or we won’t be loved and appreciated for who we are.

According to Human Needs psychology, human’s deepest need is that of love/connection.

When we’re little, we need love/connection to grow and develop. Many experts agree that babies also need to be physically touched just to survive.

It’s obvious why us humans are hyper-aware of being part of the group and being loved.

When a child is born, the parents release the “love hormone” oxytocin at high levels. To the parents, every little thing that their child does is the cutest thing in the world. The parents have a strong desire to consistently stay with and nurture their baby.

There comes a time when the oxytocin decreases, and parents might yell at their children in frustration, or talk to their children in a certain way out of “tough love”. Some children interpret this as a loss of love/connection from their parents.

As children, this is a scary event, and we do anything and everything to get the love/connection back.

Some children believe that their parents will only give them love/connection again if they succeed, such as at school and in sports.

Some children close off in an attempt to protect them from getting hurt again.

This same principle lends itself to the playground. When children are excluded from the group, they tend to find a few common solutions:

1) Conform to what the majority of people do, for example wear similar clothes.

2) Conform to what the social leader does or wants you to do.

3) Rebel and do the opposite in an attempt to ignore the hurt feeling of exclusion and show “people” that you’re in control of loving and accepting yourself.

4) Close off and become shy.

Overcoming Social Anxiety is Easy and Long Lasting

During coaching sessions, we visit your old story where you’ll realize that the “exclusion event (s)” were actually smaller than imagined. Clients see that they have many more easy, effective and natural options to love and connect with themselves and others without having to resort to the four ways mentioned above.

Social anxiety treatment is easy and effective.

Social anxiety is just a pattern which is easy to change.

Author's Bio: 

Tony Robbins’ Trained Giovanni Maccarrone is The Best Life Coach in Toronto.

Get happy, fearless and high self-esteem. Quit smoking, lose weight, overcome social anxiety, addictions & bad habits, and make money. OCD and ADD Treatment, Couples Therapy and Relieve Stress in only 3-6 sessions.

“I’ve seen many psychologists, counsellors, therapists and mental health practitioners, but with Giovanni my ENERGY, OUTLOOK, and ATTITUDE CHANGED COMPLETELY after just one session. Giovanni is quick, authentic, and warm. I highly recommend him!” – Esperanza

Contact Giovanni Maccarrone B.A., C.L.C. for a Free 30 Minute Consultation, a Session or to answer all of your questions at