How To Manage Money With Your Spouse: How To Manage Money Between Husband And Wife

How To Manage Money With Your Spouse: How To Manage Money Between Husband And Wife

Money problems in marriage is one of the leading causes of divorce with married couples so you must learn how to manage your finances better for the longevity of your marriage. Every couple and their families struggle financially during tough economic times like we have experienced in recent years, but these do not have to destroy your marriage if you follow the simple advice we are going to share with you here.

No matter what your circumstances, whether your bills are just now piling up, you already have debts so large that you can never pay, or you are just looking for few new ways to earn more money, our advice can help anyone who is willing to take the right action.

The first thing you need to do is get your life organized and this includes personal finances. Start by getting all of your savings and checking account information, including your password information, and other important and other useful paperwork in a secure location that you can easily access whenever you need it.

You cannot take money problems in marriage lightly or you could be facing serious marital problems that could have dire circumstances for you and your entire family. You need to go to work on saving money from all sources. For instance,if you are a good driver with a clean driving record, you can save quite a bit of money of by choosing a higher deductible on your insurance policy. If you choose a $1000 deductible, for example, you will pay lower premiums, than if you choose a $500 deductible. The money you save can start to lower your debt, just be sure to keep your eyes on the road and drive safely. You don't want to have to pay that higher deductible.

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Whether you are a college student or the parent of a college student, you will want to reduce the amount that you spend on books and supplies. Instead of purchasing looks at the campus bookstore, which is usually at retail price, buy books from upperclassman who can sell you these books at a discount. You can usually find these students from book exchanges or from notes you can place online or on a bulletin board at school. This can save you hundreds of dollars per semester.

Money problems in marriage usually begin by not giving up the fun things in your relationship, like going to movies. Two people going to a movie at a theater could easily spend forty to fifty dollars, if you get popcorn, drinks and candy. You must find less expensive ways to do the things you enjoy. Instead of going to the theater to see a movie, rent one. Like eating out? Why not make a picnic lunch and eat it at the park with your mate. By finding cheaper ways to do things, you can still enjoy yourself and enhance your marriage without feeling the pinch.

There are so many useful tools online that don't cost anything and you need to use them. As an example, use an online digital calendar to track your personal finances. You can make note of when you need to pay bills, do taxes, check your credit score, and many other important financial matters. The calendar can be set to send you email alerts, in order to remind you of when you need to take action.

Money problems in marriage start when two people come into the marriage with no financial plan. You and your spouse need to develop a personal household budget that each of you agree on and then stick to it. It's important that you create a budget for your family so that you know exactly how much each of you can spend on things. Having a budget will prevent you from spending any money that you don't have.

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A great place to save a lot of money is by lowering your monthly grocery bills by dropping the habit of shopping for meals every day after you leave work or school. This approach makes you more likely to buy costly impulse purchases or making fast food runs. You need to plan your grocery purchases for an entire week. In fact, you can save even more money by shopping only once every other week.

To insure that you don't have money problems in marriage, you cannot live beyond your means. If you are buying clothes, groceries and gasoline using your credit card because you have no money in your checking account, then you are headed for big trouble financially and in your marriage. You and your spouse must track your money very carefully. You have to make sure that you spend less money than you earn. Act quickly or you may build a tower of debt that could crash on you and ruin your marriage.

No matter what sort of financial difficulties you may have had up to this point, the proven and tested advice you just read can help, but you must be committed and disciplined to follow these steps daily. Dave Ramsey, the Christian financial guru, always says, "you have to live today like no one else, so that you can live tomorrow like no one else." Simply put, he is telling us to live a conservative financial lifestyle today and avoid the money problems in marriage that so many experience early in their marriage and save so you can live a much more luxurious lifestyle later in life while so many are struggling. There is no substitute for knowledge when you are having financial problems. Once you start putting this advice to work in your own life, you will soon be able to resolve your financial problems.

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There's no doubt; marriage is challenging. Nearly every newly married couple is excited and elated about their nuptials, and rightfully so. You are extremely smitten with your spouse and you are excited about creating a new life together. So what happens in the years following your wedding that causes so many couples to become unhappy and ready to throw in the towel?

The first thing that happens is reality sets in. You go back to the "real world" after returning from your honeymoon. You return to your job and everything else it takes to run a household, such as grocery shopping, cooking, paying bills, cleaning, doing yard work. Sometimes when reality sets in and the "honeymoon is over", people really struggle with the commitment to being married and the time it takes to ensure your spouse knows how you feel about them, as a person, sexually, and as a partner in life and in realizing your common dreams.

So, how do you know that your if your marriage is going through a rough time or if you're dealing with something more devastating and permanent? Marriage Counseling can be a godsend for couples struggling in their relationships. If you have hit a brick wall in trying to work things out between the two of you, it may be time to seek counseling. There are definite signs to knowing when you should at least start talking about finding a marriage counselor in order to get through the rough patches.

1. You No Longer Communicate - You are married, you go through the motions, and you have become more like roommates than a married couple. You speak to each other, only when necessary, and mostly about the kids, who is responsible for the chores this week, who will pick up the groceries or dry cleaning, and what is needed to pay your monthly bills.

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2. Your Sex Life Changes Dramatically - If there is a loss of intimacy, there are problems somewhere. If there is an increase in intimacy, there are problems somewhere as well. Loss of intimacy tends to mean there are unspoken issues and quite possibly, one spouse has no idea what those issues are. On the other hand, if your spouse is wanting to make passionate love to you every day and wants to try new positions, there are probably issues as well. In that case, your spouse may be feeling aroused by things that are not originating from you

3. Ongoing Issues - If you have had the same issue in your relationship from the start and have tried to work things out and agree on an outcome, but the same issue comes up time after time, you should seek counseling. Ongoing issues can lead to divorce very quickly, or the issue can build and build, causing tension and bad feelings for years to come.

4. Finances - Disagreements over how to save money or how to spend money are one of the top reasons couples find themselves in constant conflict. If all of a sudden your spouse feels the need to control the entire budget, it may be time to say something. If you are being kept in the dark about family finances all of a sudden, there is a reason for this shift.

5. Unfortunate, Devastating Life Events - If there has been a traumatic event in your marriage, such as an affair, a miscarriage, or loss of a child, and one or both partners are struggling with letting go, it is time for counseling. Many times, especially within the case of losing a child, people tend to blame themselves, or their spouse for the occurrence. This is never healthy. Counseling can help you talk through the issues and blame and work towards a shared understanding.

6. Kids - Children are miracles and nothing short of blessings, but having kids can add stress to your marriage, especially if you are not unified in your parenting styles. One parent is always the "hard" parent, and the other the "soft". Kids know this and will play this to their advantage. It is essential that both parents are unified in decisions and support each other in child-rearing decisions.

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7. You Still Love Your Spouse - There is a difference between loving your spouse and being in love with your spouse. Many struggling couples find that although they love their spouse (maybe for their parenting skills, their selflessness in putting the rest of the family above their own needs, or their role as a provider in working to support their family's wants and needs) they are no longer "in love" with their spouse. This is a good time to start speaking with your spouse about counseling. If you wait until you truly despise your spouse, it's probably going to be too late.

Going through life being unhappy is never productive. Many times couples are aware that something is wrong, and they may even know what is wrong. The problem is, they don't know how to fix it. Marriage counseling takes a commitment from both spouses in order to get through the issues and create a better, stronger marriage. As times go by in your marriage, you will see that sometimes it's just not worth it to argue about in-laws, how much money is spent on grocery shopping, or how many times a week you want to have sex. Marriage Counseling can help in so many ways.

Typically when a couple first attends marriage counseling, each individual spouse blames the other for the problems. However, both spouses create the climate of the relationship; both spouses put distress into the relationship; and both spouses need to do things differently to create the marriage they both want. Conflict is the start of growth, and it can go in a positive direction or a negative direction. Take the time and commit to marriage counseling when things get tough. You may develop a stronger relationship than you ever had with your spouse.

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There are certain times where me and my wife argue. Nothing new. We argue most often about my competence in doing something. There are little things about me that drive her up the wall. For example, there's this issue that I currently have with my laptop. The battery's a little bit weird; it's brand new, but if I pull the AC cord out, the laptop dies within 5 minutes.

I've been meaning to call up Toshiba for a while now, but I've literally left it for a good 6 months. Even though it's my laptop, my wife has been pushing me and nagging me to call them up already so that I can move around the house without dragging the AC cord on the floor when I'm on my laptop.

She offered to call for me and I said no. This goes back to the first principle. She did use the, "you know what, forget about it. Let me do it. At this rate, you'll buy a new laptop before you fix up this one," line on me. I felt like she was challenging me, basically implying that I was lazy by saying that.

I am lazy, but I needed a kick in the butt like that to get me going. She sat back, watched me dial up the number for Toshiba and call them up. I got a new battery sent in the mail a week later. Pretty cool, huh?

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The technique

The key with this technique is that it establishes my role as a man is validated by her. If she challenges me and I don't accept, it's like I'm not supporting my wife properly, which directly puts into question how good a husband I really am. By proving to her that I can do whatever she challenges me to do, I feel validated as a man and a husband and feel satisfied that I proved that to my wife. My marriage is stronger as a result of that.

Note that this technique is not as effective if the man isn't challenged. If the wife isn't involved in it or doesn't challenge the man in some way, usually by going for his ego, he won't do it. For example, there was this one time that it was my turn to wash the dishes (I was pretty sure it was hers).

She tried to challenge me, using the "forget about it" line, but I was pretty tired from work. Also, this wasn't something that was exclusively male; anyone could have done it. If she tried to challenge me, she wouldn't get really far. I was tired at the time and although I did it eventually, I did it out of necessity more so than anything.

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.

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