How To Make Myself Happy In An Unhappy Marriage: How To Have A Successful Marriage

Being happy is one important factor for you to survive the relationship and have a successful marriage. Happiness is like the key to make sure that your marriage will work out no matter what. However, many couples find themselves unhappy with their partner even while they're still in the early stages of their marriage.

Here are some essential guidelines to manufacturing happiness in a successful marriage:

1) Make Your Spouse Happy

The thing with marriage is that are two of you who should be working on the relationship. Thus, you shouldn't only think about your own happiness, but also your spouse's happiness. In fact, you should prioritize making him or her happy in the relationship. At the same time, he or she should prioritize your happiness. It's basically give and take.

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2) Communication Leads to Happiness

One thing that your married life should never lose is communication. This is a very important aspect in keeping your relationship healthy and happy. Always remember to talk things out in a calm and rational manner. Tell each other your deepest thoughts. Learn to express your feelings. Your partner has the right to know what you're thinking and at the same time he/she does have the right to know what is on your mind as well.

3) Surprise!

Always keep in mind that no one's ever too old for surprises. Getting married doesn't mean you stop doing funny or silly things to impress each other. So, whether you're in your 20's or even 50's, there's no harm in surprising your spouse once in a while. Doing this definitely gives both of you some endorphin rush and get you fuelled up for more happy days to come.

It doesn't really matter whether your surprise is something big or small. It's always the thought that counts!

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Relationships and marriage become complex over time. From their naive simplicity in the beginning relationships grow, change and expand over time creating new challenges for both partners. With all the elements to consider there are two essential secrets to a successful marriage and to stop divorce.

Each relationship will have it's own set of circumstances, demands and needs for it to work properly for both individuals. The foundation of a successful relationship will be built on two essential secrets. Mutual respect and mutual acceptance.

These secrets may seem obvious at first glance but they both contain a depth of understanding that falls short in many relationships. Respect and acceptance will carry a struggling relationship to higher ground and reinforce it until it regains it's own strength and is able prosper and thrive.

The first essential secret is mutual respect. You chose to partner with someone because you liked who they were when you met. Do you still have your focus on what you enjoy about your partner or over time have you settled for mediocrity in the marriage with a focus on the negative aspect? How you speak to your spouse and how you represent them in conversations to friends and co-workers is an important element of respect.

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Be certain to lift up and esteem your spouse whenever possible. Be proud of their accomplishments and grateful for their role in your life together. Shift the focus to what is good and positive and watch your partner come alive again. Always look for ways to say or share something positive about your spouse, especially when they are not around to hear it. It will get back to them and they will be grateful for you.

The second essential secret is mutual acceptance. Any relationship that withstands the test of time will go through trials from time to time. Accepting your spouse for who they are is a step towards peace and understanding. Everyone makes mistakes from time to time. It is essential that both partners move beyond the mistake.

Once you find a resolution to the issue at hand then it needs to be left in the past. Accept your partner and create a relationship based on trust by not using a past indiscretion against them in future conversations, no matter how heated they may become. Relationships and the mistakes people make are multifaceted and you may need some help to overcome the trials you face.

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Your marriage is in trouble but you are keen on stopping divorce and saving the marriage. But your spouse does not share your commitment. Can you still save your marriage working alone? The answer is a resounding yes!

The reasons why your spouse doesn't share your enthusiasm in improving your relationship could be many. They may not have realized the seriousness of the situation and may be feeling complacent. Or, they may be reconciled to the break up. It could also be that they want the marriage to break up since they are not happy in the marriage. Your approach should obviously has to be tailored to the reason why your spouse is not interested in saving the marriage. Let us look at the scenarios.

Scenario 1- Your spouse is oblivious of the threat of break up: This is perhaps the easiest situation to handle but you should exercise care to ensure that the situation does not deteriorate. You have to follow the strategy of opening up your communication channel with your spouse and showing them, through your actions, how much you care for them. This approach will gradually bring about a change in their attitude and you will soon find that you have saved your marriage from collapse and brought it to a comfortable level.

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Scenario 2- Your spouse is convinced that the situation is beyond redemption: It will be difficult at this stage to convince your spouse on the need to save your marriage. The one thing you can do is to buy time. You may indicate to your spouse that you realize that your relationship is getting towards a break up but suggest that you postpone the break up. You will have to give a credible reason like the need for more time for getting yourself mentally prepared for the inevitable separation. Once you buy some time, you can identify a few areas for improvement. After you are able to bring about some improvement in the relationship, you will be in a better position to bring in the idea of stopping the divorce and saving the marriage.

Scenario- 3: Your spouse is fed up with the marriage and is looking forward to the break up: This is a precarious situation and any wrong move on your part will precipitate the crisis. The best course could be to involve other people to help you in coming together. Approaching a professional counselor can be highly effective.

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The recent headline of Arnold Schwarzenegger revealing his secret of fathering a child out of wedlock in between his marriage got many women so furious over the Hollywood actor and former California governor. The man was known to have gotten involved with several women in the past but the revelation that he had an affair with his own house staff without the knowledge of his wife Maria Shriver was just too much to take.

It was not surprising at all that Maria Shriver would walk away from their 25 years of marriage. She felt so betrayed about what happened and leaving their home gracefully was just the best solution for her.

Infidelity remains to be a common problem in marriage with many relationships ending in separation or divorce. But again, couples experiencing rocky marriages still have every opportunity to rebuild the relationship if only for the sake of the children. It all depends on the spouses themselves.

Marriage therapists explain that betrayal can occur in two ways. It can be that the guilty person is not aware that his behavior is betraying his or her partner. It can also be that although the person knows what he's doing, he is overpowered by his emotions and could not control himself. The other kind of betrayal is deliberate whereby the person knows exactly his behavior and does not care if he continues with it as long as he's fulfilling his selfish needs.

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The lying and deceit that take place is what can cause so much pain to one partner. Marriage therapists even consider a deep betrayal, such as in the case of Arnold and Maria, as a death wound that could be difficult to heal. The humiliation suffered by the wife was just too deep as she was the last to know about the illicit affair that happened right inside her house.

During this very difficult time, particularly in the case of a betrayed wife, the support provided by family and close friends is very important. Moral support can provide her comfort as she finds a way to protect herself. Marriage counselors point out that public and family support can go a long way in helping people feel understood as they suffer from the pain and trauma. Somehow, a wife also feels the need to be validated that indeed his man was unfair in committing the infidelity.

Where children are involved, therapists strongly recommend that parents not talk about the infidelity that happened. Should a separation is unavoidable, both father and mother should tell the children that they will continue to cooperate to make things easier for them and that you will always be there to support them. Be ready as well to anticipate anger and disappointment. It is vital that the family members go through the healing process together.

On the part of the wronged spouse, allow yourself to feel the anger and disappointment. It is absolutely fine if you are not willing to forgive your partner immediately after the break-up. You have to let your spouse know how much he or she has hurt you and that it's not easy to just accept an apology. Take the time to go through the process of healing and talk it out with a close friend or a professional if necessary.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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