Every one from time to time has felt inadequate with the opposite sex - even Giovanni Casanova must have had his off days - but many people let this inadequacy ruin their lives. For example say a chap likes this pretty girl who works in the same building as him, but every time he sees her he has to hide because he does not want her to see him blush, stammer and sweat profusely. This scenario is not uncommon and this lack of confidence with the opposite sex is a very real problem for many people.

The fact is the key strategy to feeling confident with the opposite sex is to make them feel that they are very special and important. You have to look outside yourself and just concentrate on making that person you are attracted to feel that they are the only special person in the world. To be able to look outside yourself you have to be first confident within yourself so as to not negative self-talk yourself. This means you cannot be pulling yourself down and saying to yourself, "I feel I am not worthy of talking to this beautiful person." Your lack of confidence will shine through and the person you are trying to attract will sense that you are not that confident person you pretend to be.

Basically the key to eradicating self-conscious thought into self-confidence thought is to:

1. Upgrade you pictures and self talk.
2. Pump up your state.

I will give you an example of what I mean by upgrade your pictures and self-talk:

A friend of mine became fixated on a work colleague, but every time she met him she became nervous and tongue tied. She felt foolish and very unattractive - which she was not. The one thing I became aware of that every time she spoke of him she gestured in front of her face as if she was describing a picture. I asked her what she saw when she thought of him. She then thought back to her images of him and she described what picture she had been using in her mind - it was a big, bright and very colourful picture of a handsome and tall man booming with self-confidence. She had also been using negative self talk, "What on earth would he see in me. He is so handsome." No wonder she felt intimidated in his presence.

I told her to shrink the picture so that it would fit into the palm of her hand, like if she was shrinking a large format picture into a passport photo. After she had done what I asked her to do, she suddenly laughed and said she did not feel daunted by him anymore. I then told her to visualize the new shrunk down picture in her mind and internally tell herself in her most confident tone, "It is possible that he will go out with me." I told her to repeat these words many times until she felt her state becoming more confident.

The next time I met her she said that she had plucked up enough courage to talk to him and that she now felt so much more comfortable with him. Though she knew she would never ask him out - she was brought up thinking that only men asked women out - she was happy just being friends with him. The funny thing the last time I met her she was very happy because he asked her out instead!

Here are some exercises to pump up your state for getting confidence with the opposite sex with powerful positive suggestions:

1. Are you more comfortable with yourself? Are you more comfortable with friends or family? Whoever you feel the most comfortable with go back to a particular pleasant time you had. Allow these feelings to come back now and use them to create 'Romantic Positive Suggestions.' Put your right thumb in your left palm, or vice versa if you are left handed, while you are feeling these feelings and build the association.

2. How do you like to feel? A good example on how you would like to feel is that you do not feel scared and that you are allowed to be yourself.

3. Visualize a celebrity who for you is a role model of social and sexual confidence. Visualize that celebrity talking confidently to the person that you want to feel comfortable with. Step into that image of the role model celebrity and see through their eyes, hear through their ears and feel what it is like to be as socially and sexually confident as they are. Whilst you are visualizing yourself in the role model image put your thumb in your palm, adding these feelings to your 'Romantic Positive Suggestions.' You must keep on doing this until you feel as socially and sexually confident as they are.

The above suggestions are just a few of the things you can do to become a more confident person with the opposite sex. So don't be afraid to go ahead and be that confident person you have always wanted to be!

Author's Bio: 

Belinda Daly is a certified master practitioner in hypnosis, NLP and TLT. She also has a degree in metaphysics.

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