I know, you just want to get him back. It seems like it should be simple enough. After all, you won his heart over once before; why not just do it again? Well, the problem is that the first time around you were entering new territory with a clean slate. You had the thrill and excitement of discovering each other. Your likes, your dislikes, your dreams, and your passions were all discovered together for the first time.

But this second time around you may think that there is nothing new to talk about…nothing new to discover. And, in part you are right. But in order to get him back you are going to have to dig a little deeper to discover new things about him and new things about yourself.

You have to understand that we are all human and we are shaped and changed by the experiences that we have. How boring would it be to be the exact same person with the exact same thoughts and experiences as the person you were in your teenaged years? If you open yourself up to the new people that you became when you were together, you may discover some fresh stuff and get his back.

Here’s what I mean. Maybe before you met, your ex boyfriend never tried Thai food. While you were dating she discovered that not only did she love the food but she took cooking classes to learn how to perfect your favorite dish. Because of your relationship a new door was opened for him.

And perhaps before you met your boyfriend you would not have considered spending the afternoon in a museum. However, after having that experience with him you now appreciate the beauty of a marble sculpture. Because of your relationship with your ex boyfriend a new door was opened for you.

So as you discover the best way to get him back, you also need to discover what additional experiences you would like to share with him. Having those past shared experiences are comforting but you have to be sure that you don’t get too comfortable in a way that causes you to fall into a dull, boring, routine. Simply put, you can’t rest on your laurels.

And let’s not forget that you may have another hurdle to jump on the journey to get him back. You had some bad experiences too. The slate is not clean. In fact, if you had a good, full, relationship then that slate may be downright messy.

But can it be cleaned up and re-written? Can you build upon the good stuff and the messy stuff and build an even stronger bond with the guy you want to get back? Is it possible?

Sure. Most problems have a solution. And to get him back you just need a strategy to find your own strengths and then build on the strengths of the relationship you once had. But remember you are seeking out a second chance with a marked up slate. You have to know which steps to take to wipe that slate clean.

Learn about this strategy here.

Don't waste time feeling so much pain on your own, let others who have been in your shoes and know how to deal with your heartbreak and how to rekindle the romance with your beloved help you.

Ask Yourself If You Have Implemented the 7 Traits of A High Value Woman

It's also so important to learn to soften your boundaries so you become a honey to the bees. You get more results that way with anyone. This principle works like magic to most of my clients!

Author's Bio: 

This article is one of the breakup series I write. Please check my author page for more articles on the subejct or join me in my ex-back support group and relationship forum for more tips on how to deal with your breakup and how to get yourself on the path of getting your love and your life back. Please also follow me on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/katarina.phang for my daily nuggets of reflections/insights/advice and tips on attracting and maintaining a lasting relationship and fixing a broken one.

Katarina Phang is an author, love/life coach specializing on reuniting couples and curing troubled relationship. She founded a free ex-back support group and relationship forum http://gettheloveyoudeserve.info.