How To Get Closure From An Ex Who Won't Talk To You: Ex Won't Talk To Me After A Year

How To Get Closure From An Ex Who Won't Talk To You: Ex Won't Talk To Me After A Year

It's pretty hard sometimes to understand why you suddenly find yourself single. Other times it is pretty obvious. But in both cases it's almost impossible to know what to do if your ex won't talk to you. Let's see if I can help you if you are in this position.

Even if you were the one that broke it off you kind of expect your ex to try and make contact with you. You may not want to talk things over but would probably be surprised if no attempt was mad to contact you. If on the other hand you were the one dumped for a very good reason or for no reason at all it would be natural for you to try and make contact, either to explain your actions or in an attempt to make up.

Almost everyone who goes through a break up experiences a range of emotions and a lot find themselves trying to get back with their ex. Equally though the other partner often just does not want to have any contact. This is a self preservation reflex. It's a lot easier to stay single if there is no contact whereas seeing and talking to your ex makes it difficult to stay strong.

So if you want to get back with an ex you need to know why we behave the way we do and respond in a manner that will break that pattern.

Here is what you need to do if your ex won't talk to you.

Don't have a knee jerk reaction. Take some serious self analysis time and put yourselves in your ex's shoes. How would you feel if the tables were reversed? There is probably a lot of pain there as well and you need to understand that.

Take and give some space. Both of you need time to think, to reflect on what has happened and to decide if you really want to get back together. The mere fact that your ex won't talk to you has got you panicking. Use the same psychology and avoid making contact. This creates an atmosphere of doubt.

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Do not try and make contact of any sort. No phone calls or messages and no attempts at trying to "bump into" your ex by "accident. Do not frequent the places you used to go to together. Absolutely no stalking.

Develop a plan. Use this time of no contact to develop a plan and a strategy to get back with your ex. Work on the things that you have in common and the good memo pries you have as a starting point. You will build on these and eliminate the weaknesses or bad points. Accept responsibility for the break up. That does not mean you have to confess to being in the wrong, it simply means that you are also to blame and need to accept that.

Do not talk badly about your ex. You loved your ex once and you still do so do not mention any bad points to anyone. These things have a tendency to come back and haunt you.

Write your ex a hand written note. People do not write notes anymore. So a hand written letter delivered through the post will create interest and will be opened. Now your ex might not be talking to you but you will have broken the first line of defence. The note should be upbeat and include a thank you for something vague. Make sure you really have something to be thankful for though because you are going to add a line suggesting you get together "just for 20 minutes over a coffee" some time in the future to thank them personally. Create a sense of intrigue so that you get a response.

Keep any subsequent meetings short. If you asked for a twenty minute coffee then make sure it is only 20 minutes and in all cases be sure to be the one that ends it. Do not stay longer than promised.

Take things slowly. If you are meeting up occasionally don't blow it by acting desperate and rushing into things. Take your time and treat your "new" relationship as if you were starting over again. Enjoy the courting period.

Not knowing what to do if your ex won't talk to you happens to virtually every couple that breaks up. Sadly over 90% of those that try to make up again fail.

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Even though it may seem as if there's absolutely no chance to get your lover back now, just after your relationship has ended, I can assure you with all confidence that this is not so. The only reason why you're feeling like this is because of the argument that you and your ex had, and all the nasty things that were flung at each other.

These things are only said in anger, but nine times out of ten, are not really meant, so all that is needed is some time to get over all these really bad thoughts that you have mulling around in your mind right now. It's part of the process to get your lover back, and really works.

This will also let your ex know that you are aware of how he/she feels, and have enough respect for him/her to have this cooling down period. Your ex will really appreciate the fact that you aren't constantly calling to beg and plead to be taken back - this would be just too much to handle under the circumstances!

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Okay, so it IS very difficult to do this, because your heart is crying out to be reunited with your ex, but please stick to it if you want to succeed and get your lover back. If your ex perhaps calls you, or sees you over the next few days, even if you want to hurl angry comments at him/her, DON'T - just stay calm and keep any nasty comments to yourself.

Once you have both had enough time to think things over, make contact with your ex. However, don't mention the break up or the possibility of getting back together again. This could start the argument all over again. Above all, if you want to get your lover back into your life again, don't try to lay all the blame of the break up on your ex - you were both involved in the argument, and both had a part to play in the relationship failing.

Get your lover back by promising to fix any problems you have, and assure your ex that these things won't ever happen again, because you want nothing more than to have a good, healthy relationship with him/her.

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It can be very weird to be around your ex but have no idea what to say or how to act. If you fall in this category of people who seem to begin rambling or get completely tongue tied and embarrassed around your ex then read on and find out how to act around your ex.

Never look bad

The idea is to make your ex see that despite having broken up, you have not given up on yourself. It doesn't mean that if you are heading out for a cuppa you have to look all dressed up. But be well turned out always. Look like you are taking care of yourself and that you are interested in yourself.

Be confident

Your ex expects you to be a broken person with very low self confidence. He/she especially expects you to be very uncomfortable around them. Show them that you have put your break up behind you and put on a confident and self assured exterior.

Talk casually

Be very casual when you are talking with your ex. Don't make him/her feel like you are carrying baggage around. So keep the conversation to day to day activities, common people that you know, sports, entertainment etc.

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Don't volunteer too much information

Don't get over excited and go on a rambling trip about what you have been doing etc. Get your ex interested in you by not volunteering too much information. Be a little reserved but at the same time don't make it seem like you are making a conscious attempt at doing so.

Don't ask personal questions

As much as you want to find out if your ex is sleeping around or not, try and keep the idea to yourself. You do not want to ask your ex any personal questions else he/she will think that you are still hung up on them. You then look desperate and needy and will be shut out immediately. So, no personal questions.

Talk with humor

Keep your sense of humor intact. This is what is going to make all the difference in your equation with your ex. Don't act like a clown making a joke out of everything but keep the situation light and interesting with your wit.

Make him/her feel comfortable

Make an effort to see that your ex is comfortable around you. Never make him/her feel like you have a hidden agenda. Even if you want to get back together, let your ex see for himself/herself your good side and make the decision to get back with you. Forcing him/her and playing the guilt card is only going to draw pity votes.

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Your ex has moved on and is now in a relationship with someone else, but you still want to win your ex back - this sounds like a recipe for disaster doesn't it? But it doesn't necessarily have to be. It is natural to want to rekindle a flame with a former lover, and it is even more devastating to find out that they have moved on to someone else. This doesn't mean all hope is lost, you can still win your ex back, but it will be difficult and complicated due to the fact that they are currently seeing someone else.

When a relationship ends and one partner goes out and immediately starts another relationship, this is generally referred to as a "rebound relationship". They are essentially using that person as an emotional distraction to the pain caused by the breakup. When you want to win your ex back, this situation is a lot easier to manage than one where, say, your ex has fallen in love with someone new. This rebound relationship is an almost knee jerk response to a bad break up.

Though you want to win your ex back, you must remember that the third party has no blame. You ex has to answer for the new relationship, not the new partner. Sadly, they are caught in the crossfire of what is going on between you and your ex. You have to accept that if you are meant to win back your ex, you will, you cannot be replaced.

If you truly want to win your ex back, you both need time and space to explore all your options and to get over and negative feelings. While this is a difficult time, you need to be sensitive to the other partners feelings as well. One cannot forget about that old cliche, what goes around comes around. So always make sure you are nothing but kind to the new partner. Your ex will see what they are missing, if indeed they are truly missing you. You will win you ex back with due time if you act with dignity and grace.

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