How To Gain Self Confidence: How To Get Rid Of Shyness Around People

Confidence shows something about yourself. It is the way you carry yourself in public whether you know it or not. Some people like to be around confident people. Some people don't because they find them arrogant. But arrogance comes from being overconfident. This post will only show you how to be confident and it is from there that you can choose how to control your confidence.

What is confidence? Confidence is having full trust in yourself to do an act, despite whatever fears, worries, or anxieties you have. Low self-esteem people usually have low confidence, as they shy away from the spotlight and do whatever it takes to subtly escape the task under pressure. High self-esteem people usually prefer to be in the spotlight and enjoy doing the task as they might find it exciting or a challenge.

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The point is confidence is important whether or not you're in a social atmosphere and can give you high rewards when faced in a difficult situation.

-Making new friends for the first time
-Asking somebody out on a date
-Holding a conversation with a higher authority person
-Expressing an opinion in a group
-Going through a job interview
-Performing on stage
-Giving a speech
-Simply going through life's daily tasks

We all know what it feels to have a lack of confidence: we become nervous, we become sweaty, our palms get clammy, the excuses start to come in, and we end up back in that original state feeling like we just can't break out of that barrier. So let's break out of that barrier. These following steps will help you improve your confidence.

Accept Your Flaws First

First, you must accept your flaws. Why is this? People with low self-esteem usually will have low confidence. This means that they do think they are a worthy enough person to perform tasks around other people. They rely on others or look for other's permission before doing an act. Realize that everyone has flaws and no one is perfect!

It doesn't matter if you have a mentality that you will always mess things up, you have had a bad history, you get embarrassed easily, or you find a part of yourself physically unattractive, everybody has flaws and insecurities just like you and the difference between confident people and unconfident people is that confident people have learned to accept their flaws and like themselves for who they are. You must start from the inside first before you work your way to other people, and it begins with accepting your flaws as it is.

Not Caring About What Other People Think

Confidence comes from not letting other people's thoughts or opinions put you down or stop you from performing. It comes from not caring about what other people. It comes from indifference. People's opinions or criticism to you isn't a big deal to you. It's not like your being rude or selfish, which is not the intention, but you don't let people stop you from doing what you want to do. This is a very important step because if you always worry about what other people think, then you start to let them think for you. Their thinking should not influence your actions, as you're thoughts are just as capable as anyone's else's.

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Believing in Yourself

You must adopt an I-can-do-it attitude! You believe in yourself to do anything you want to do. It is yourself and nobody else that you need to carry out the action. You always say to yourself, "I believe in myself and I can do this, even when others don't believe in me." When you constantly make these affirmations to yourself over and over again, you'll start to create faith in yourself to carry out what it is that you fear, worry, or are anxious about. You must combine this faith with belief, the belief in yourself and only yourself to do what needs to be done. You can do it!

Always Practice Being Proactive

You are responsible for the events that happen in your life. They do not unravel or unfold themselves in front of you the way you like it. This means that in order to be confident, you must practice being proactive in life. Proactive people take the initiative. They don't wait for things to happen. They are not passive nor are they reactive. The make things happen on their own and take charge, instead of sitting around all day and whining about wishing to be more of what already are. They can be more but it means taking a proactive approach wherever one goes.

You can constantly practice being proactive in your everyday encounters with people. Be the first one to start conversation, invite a friend to lunch, express an opinion, get work done, whatever it takes to practice this art rather than stay in a passive, thinking mode.

These are the four things that make up a confident person. Don't start doing the last step before you do the first one. Start from accepting yourself first which can be simply reminding yourself that your flaws are "okay" and that it's time to move on to focus the energy on something else. Consistently do this, or do things that make you happy and feel good and you'll realize that your insecurities are small matters. They shouldn't be holding down your confidence, and also shouldn't the reasons stopping you from the things you want really to do in life.

When you have accepted yourself, then you can gradually work your way up to the three other things mentioned such as not caring so much about what other people think, believing in yourself, and always take a proactive approach wherever you go and whatever situation you happen to be in. By constantly practicing this, you'll start to have better body language, you'll start to feel better about yourself, and you'll be able to do the carry out the things that you have wanted to do that you couldn't in the past. But most importantly, you'll have improved your confidence and be a more confident person not only around other people, but in yourself.

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Agoraphobia panic attacks are a form of social anxiety disorder. If you suffer from and agoraphobia you'll avoid specific situations that you fear will contribute to you experiencing panic. People who suffer from this condition often fear going out in public to places such as supermarket, mall, or anywhere that they will encounter a group of people. When the disorder starts to progress people often fear even leaving their houses.

Agoraphobia panic attacks are linked to a person's internal fears. They are often brought on by a person's fears of losing control. When a person is at home they often feel more control than they would in a public setting. They know where their phone is, they feel comfortable, and they feel as no one can hurt them at home. When a person that suffers from agoraphobia is out in a public setting they often fear what would happen if they did indeed have a panic episode. Would people help them? Would people try to hurt them? Would people take advantage of them? Being at the mercy of a group of people represents giving up control.

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Do you think you may be suffering from agoraphobia panic attacks? These are some common symptoms:

-- The constant fear of panic.. This affects all panic attack sufferers to some extent... but people who suffer from agoraphobia tend to let this fear overwhelm them.
-- The fear of large groups or crowds.
-- Fear of going out in public. Agoraphobia sufferers fear going out in public due to the fact that they feel less in control of their panic disorder.
-- A feeling of helplessness when in public. When someone suffers from agoraphobia they fear going out in public so much that they simply shut down and become helpless to cope with their anxious feelings.
-- Panic attacks when leaving your "safe zone"

Panic attack agoraphobia is really devastating to those who suffer from it. When trying to cure agoraphobia it is essential that you realize how irrational your fears are. When you realize that you are no safer at your house than you are in public you are on your way defeating agoraphobia. Panic attacks are just as likely to strike anywhere. Once you begin to work on your deep-seated anxieties and fears you will notice that every passing day gets a little bit easier.

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If you are actively seeking out help for panic attacks you will be glad to know that panic disorder is fairly easy to treat. In fact it is considered one of the easiest anxiety disorders to treat. When you suffer from panic it is simply your mind and body processing anxiety incorrectly... if you can just learn how to process this stimuli correctly and you can end panic attacks forever. The problem with most people that are looking at help for panic attacks is that they do not truly understand how to stop them. These people have learned behaviors and habits to deal with anxiety... unfortunately these habits actually tend to cause panic. If you can break the cycle of anxiety you do not need expensive medications or hours in therapy.

One of the key things you have to do to stop panic is to abruptly stop your brain from thinking negative thoughts. One way to do this simply is to interrupt your thought process. You can interrupt your thought process by doing something such as snapping a rubber band on your wrist or just saying "stop" out loud. When you do something like this it distracts you from your original thoughts and anxieties. As long as your thoughts go away from your panic and anxiety you should be safe from panic attacks.

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Another thing that is helpful for panic attacks is to eliminate harmful substances from your life. If you're constantly consuming alcohol, caffeine, or smoking cigarettes your body will find it impossible to maintain equilibrium. When your body is out of balance it will send distress signals to your mind. These distress signals are often misinterpreted as anxiety... when this anxiety builds up to a certain point you can no longer take it... and before you know it you're having a full-fledged panic attack.

Breathing correctly offers help offers help for panic attacks sufferers. When you are anxious on under a lot of stress your breathing patterns tend to be quick and shallow. When you do this for an extended amount of time you are robbing your mind and body of essential oxygen that it needs to function correctly. If you can concentrate on your breathing you should be able to take long, deep, and relaxing breaths. When you breathe like this you'll feel incredibly relaxed and balanced. It is impossible to suffer a panic attack when you are in a relaxed state like this.

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"I get frequent panic attack after my "run in" with a heart problem I had a year ago. Panic attacks for me come in waves and do not leave me for 3 - 4 days. It makes me feel very scared and depressed and I am edgy all the time. I keep feeling pain sensations in my chest, back and arm and can't get over the feeling - which I am going to die or get a heart attack. I did go to the doctor and my heart specialist. They can't find anything unusual in my heart...they have given me some medications for this panic disorder - Xanax - but that freaks me out and the withdrawal symptoms are awful". These were the words of a recent blogger regarding her experience with overcoming panic attacks.

Fortunately,there are other ways to treat - and find help in overcoming panic attacks - besides prescription medication! The girl in this blog expressed some of the symptoms that people who have numerous panic attacks - experience. What exactly is a panic attack? We all have experienced a panicky feeling at one time or another. If you ever realized that you've lost your car in a deserted parking lot, or your child in a store, you know how it feels. A panic attack exhibits the same feelings, but is much more intense - and happens suddenly, without warning. They can even be terrifying - and make the person feel that they are going to die. Some people think that they are having a heart attack. They can last anywhere from 10 to 30 minutes. A person who has had more than 4 panic attacks is said to have panic disorder. Everyone is different - and there are a variety of symptoms that people can experience:

Shortness of breath
Flushed skin
Intense or mild sweating
Increase in heart rate
Hot flashes
Foreboding feeling of death or similar
Intense shaking and trembling
Pain in chest region and ribs
Migraines or headaches
Cramping in abdominal region
Fainting sensation
Feeling of tightness in throat
Difficulty in swallowing
Strained breath
Overall weakness
Tingling sensation in the hands and fingers
Numbness in hands and legs
Feeling complete loss of control
Chest discomfort
Feeling lightheaded
Urgency to use the bathroom
Muscle strain and pain
Neck and shoulder pain
Ears turning hot and/or lips turning cold
Flushing and blotching of skin
Loss of skin color
Experiencing disturbing thoughts
Feeling unsteady and unlike oneself
Paralyzing terror
An intense need to escape
Experiencing perceptual distortions
Experiencing the feeling that you're not yourself or are going about in a dream like state

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It is important to treat yourself preventatively if you experience these symptoms. Some of the actions that you can take to prevent a panic attack are as follows:

1. Breathe in and out very, very slowly as part of breathing exercises. This will lend to more oxygen and will help in blocking every other thought.

2. Try relaxation techniques or some kinds of meditation.

3. Drink plenty of water.

4. Cut out all products that contain caffeine. These are known to intensify the attack.

5. Cut out on all foods that spike insulin in your body.

6. Exercise for at least 40 minutes a day. This will help relieve stress.

What can you do when a panic attack occurs?

It depends of the situation, and the symptoms, but in the middle of an attack there are things that you can do in order to keep functioning:

Driving a car: Breathe deeply, pull over and relax. Continue with deep breathing exercises. If it is a scary thought, de-focus off of the thought and think on things that make you happy. Force yourself to continue doing this until you get to your destination. When you get there, think about what triggered it - and have a plan of attack in the future.

Giving a speech: Go out and meet the people in the audience if you can. Viewing the audience as friendly can help in a panic attack. Plan ahead as to what you will do if you have an attack in the middle of a sentence. In the middle of an attack, take deep breaths, and change the plan. For example, get a glass of water and excuse yourself while you drink, re-focus and breathe. You can also stop your speech temporarily and ask a question - or ask for questions. But above all, realize that you are not losing it. You are in control, and just need to re-focus and you'll be finishing your speech successfully

Meeting new people: Take deep, calm ing breaths. Look around the crowd and find someone who looks as nervous as you do. Sit or stand with them and start a simple, mild conversation. If the conversation lags, or if you have a panic attack, go get a glass of something, re-focus your thoughts and deep-breathe. If you know someone in the crowd, go and speak to them. If not, find a friendly face, or another lonely person. Do this for short periods - and repeat this situation over and over until it becomes easier.

What other general actions can be taken to stop an attack?

Identify the Symptoms: When the episode is over, review the symptoms that you had, so that you will know how to deal with them in the future.

Embrace Attack: By embracing the attack, it means that you don't run away in fear from it. You take charge. You're also keeping the attack from building steam and becoming worse, you've taken away what it needs to feed off of. Don't make rationalizations for the attack you're having, take it for exactly what it is, a panic attack. Tell yourself that this attack is not a real event your mind is making this up to make you upset.

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Exercise and Sleep: Start an exercise routine that will get your body moving and also distract you if you feel yourself becoming anxious. Don't stop your routine if you anticipate an anxious situation the next day. Exercise helps your whole body to relax, and function better. Going for a jog while listening to music is a great way to get some exercise. Sleep is very important, because a lack of sleep can lead to increased levels of stress. Stress is the leading cause of anxiety attacks. Therefore, you should do everything you can to make sure you're getting a good night's rest.

Distraction Technique:When you feel like you're about to have an anxiety attack find something that will take your mind off of it. If you're in a public situation, do something different to refocus yourself off of your symptoms and the tension. Ask an open-ended question - that will get others to talk while you regain your composure. If you're by yourself, listen to some uplifting music, take a hot shower, go for a run... it really doesn't matter what you're doing as long as it's a positive experience and you're not focusing on your anxiety.

Find the Root Cause:It is vital to discover for yourself what triggered the attack. This will help you in the attack - to refocus. It will also help you to plan ahead when facing a similar situation - so that the attack is diminished, or never occurs at all.

Avoid Alcohol and Caffeine: Alcohol is a depressant, so anybody that has an anxiety disorder should avoid it as much as possible. It's not a distraction or a way to cope with anxiety; it leads to worse attacks in the future. Caffeine is great for waking up in the morning but because it's a stimulant it will increase the amount of anxiety you're feeling. Both alcohol and caffeine can stimulate insulin and drive down the blood sugar - leading to developing nervousness, the shakes and anxiety.

Relax and Focus: It's important to relax, focus on the things around you that you have control over, and don't let the anxiety attack get the best of you. Your mind is very capable of training itself to deal with anxiety attacks in the future. Treat each one separately and eventually they will be a thing of the past. You can stop the attack from escalating by planning and changing the situation you are in.

Take Control: Take charge over the attack - so that it can be prevented and stopped when it occurs. Even if you have to start out small and work your way up. You have control over where you are sitting, what you had for lunch, and what assignment you're going to do next-these are all things that the panic attack can't regulate. The more power you give yourself the less power the panic attack will have over your life. You can overcome panic attacks!You have the power to decide what you will do when the attack occurs. You can alleviate the symptoms in the middle of an episode, with the right mind-set and actions.

The more you realize that you are in charge of your attacks, the more victorious you'll become. With repeated success, and over time, you'll find it easier and easier to handle the anxiety, and find themselves overcoming panic attacks when they come. Some people find that their anxiety never completely goes away. Others find that they always feel fear in certain situations, but have learned how to take control so that they don't suffer a full-blown attack. Be patient and determined, you will win!

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