It stings but rejection happens whether it’s in love or in business. Rejection makes us afraid. Afraid to invite someone out. Afraid to ask for the promotion. Afraid to start a difficult conversation. Afraid to start our business. We assume that our interest, ideas or intentions will be dismissed.
What’s not set in stone is how you react to rejection. Your reaction to a negative response is the single most important thing you control. This is where your power lies. Finding ways to positively react to and handle daunting rejection is where you have influence over your life, situation and future.
5 Ways To Put Rejection In Its Place
You don’t have to sit around waiting for rejection to strangle you. Rather, be proactive. Take steps to loosen the noose rejection may have on you.
1. Give the benefit of the doubt. Maybe the person or group that is rejecting you or your idea doesn’t have all the information they need. Ask questions. Get involved in the discussion. Be sure to know exactly what their decision is based on; truth, lies or incomplete knowledge. If it is lies or incomplete knowledge make every attempt to set the record straight or educate.
2. Know it’s not about you. Even though you think the universe revolves around you, it just doesn’t work that way. For instance, if your boss can’t have lunch with you, it may be because she doesn’t want to be with you or it could be 56 other reasons like; she had another appointment, she had to go home to tend to a sick child, or she needed extra time to work on the last minute details of her presentation to corporate.
3. Consider yourself lucky. I need more than two hands (and feet) to count the number of times I have been rejected only to discover it was the best thing that happened to me. Regard it as having a guardian angel looking over your shoulder. This is sort of like ‘be careful what you ask for because you might get it.’
4. Be your own best friend. Being rejected could have a lot to do with how you approach the person or circumstances. If you believe that you will be rejected, then most likely you will be. However, if you believe you will have a fighting chance, your ideas are good, and people will jump for joy over your solution then you have a better than 50/50 chance of being accepted. It all comes down to the attitude you use in positioning yourself.
5. Never sacrifice who you are. If you are required to be somebody else to avoid rejection then it’s not worth it. Knowing who you are puts you in a better position to know who you should be expecting acceptance from. People who understand, appreciate and respect you and your ideas are the people you will attract. So, stop wasting your time with the others. Go after people who give these things to you without condition. Remember, you get to call the shots.
Karen Keller, Ph.D. is an expert in women's leadership and assertiveness training. She specializes in the skills of influence and persuasion, executive coaching, mentoring, sales techniques, management development training, personal life coaching, and corporate training. Discover the Real POWER for Women now!
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