How To Deal With In Laws Who Don't Like You: Husbands Family Treats Me Like An Outsider

Marriage comes with it the challenge to deal with your in-laws. Whether you're newly married or have been married for several years already, there's always an adjustment period when it comes to establishing relationships with the parents and siblings of your other half.

For some people, it takes them longer to be able to feel at ease in the presence of their in-laws. They may feel intimidated or shy particularly for those who think their partner's parents or sibling do not like them. For the others, however, it may take only a short period of time. This is often the case among people who are extroverts and who can easily establish rapport with their partner's family.

Special occasions are one of those times when families get together and as such, presents a challenge for spouses particularly the wives to be in one place with their in-laws. But these events should not make you fearful or stressful because you can take steps to be in good terms with your in-laws.

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A good way to enjoy the occasion with the parents or siblings of your spouse is to offer some help. If you're skilled in cooking or grilling, you can do that to lessen their burden. You can also offer to set the table, wash the dishes afterwards or perhaps do some errands in preparation for the party. This gesture will surely endear you to them particularly if done on a consistent basis. Your help will be much appreciated and don't get tired of it, if possible. Do it as a labor of love.

Show your interest on your mother-in-law's cooking as well. The wives can do this but for husbands who love to cook, you can also do this. Your presence in the kitchen may not be needed but if you can just observe how your partner's mom cooks her recipes, she will be flattered.

Don't consider yourself a guest. This means you have to clean up after yourself once you're done eating. Show that you're a responsible adult who knows how to do household chores. Instead of giving your hosts more work, try to do the simple tasks yourself. These include washing the dishes and doing the laundry if you're staying for a few days at your in-laws' place.

Try to take part in family games and conversations. This will make you a little more at ease than feeling like an outsider. Just remember not to push yourself but try to contribute to the conversation when you can and most especially when asked about your opinion. In short, you need to be a sport by being a team player. Then you'll eventually find out that doing so makes being part of the family a lot faster.

Finally, make sure you handle your family. It can be a big circus when several families get together so you have to know how to handle your children's issues that may arise. Be humble and avoid showing your dominant side. If you're having a hard time, request your spouse to help you deal with the in-laws while you handle the kids.

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The statistics are hard to get around; over half of all marriages that are entered into today eventually end in divorce. It's a horrible thing to think of and a scary statistic if you are currently married. However, there are ways to prevent a divorce, if you know the signs to look for well in advance and take the best effort to curb them from getting worse.

Then again, marriage isn't for everyone and some people only discover that after they have said, "I Do." The best course of action whether you are trying to prevent a divorce or wondering if your actions speak louder than words because you want a divorce, is to know the telltale signs.

Rocky Road Ahead: If Your Spouse is Acting Different, There Could Be Problems

Typically, a marriage doesn't fall apart overnight, there is a slow process a couple takes when divorce is being considered. The first sign that you may be headed towards single hood again is if you and your spouse do not go to family outings or functions with relatives any longer. If your spouse is verbal about not wanting to be around Uncle Bertie and acts on it, there could be issues.

The next thing to look for is if one of you becomes indifferent towards the other one, if you simply feel like you don't care about what the other one is doing or feeling. You stop calling each other at work and you stop catching up on one another's day when you get home. This could be a sign of trouble.

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The third issue could arise if one of you starts to take an increased interest in your joint finances, investments and debt. That person could be wondering how he or she would fare in a separation.

The fourth sign is you or your spouse is avoiding going home. You make reasons for staying out later or you find other things to do. If you are avoiding the place where live with your spouse, it is never a good sign.

Stay Alert to Behavior Changes

The fifth sign comes when you realize that the two of you are spending less and less time together. You have stopped sharing common interests and find activities that do not include the other one.

The sixth sign is a big one, you stop having sex. Whether you stop sleeping in the same bed, or if you sleep in the same bed without touching the other person, intimacy is lost, a critical piece of any marriage.

Finally, the seventh sign is if you cannot have a conversation without a fight starting. Everything is irritating about the other person and you rehash and refight all of the same disagreements.

These are all signs that if they are present in your relationship, you might be contacting a divorce attorney soon. Consider your options; do you want to save your marriage? If so, you might want to contact a counselor. If you don't, you might let the chips fall where they may.

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Have you ever seen a couple that looks truly happy? Do you often have the urge to go up and ask them what their secret is? Many people continually wonder what the best advice for marriage is. Here are a few trade secrets that could help you drastically improve your marriage.

The first great piece of advice is to always work together. Make decisions as a team and make sure that they are best for the family and not an individual.

Another tip that is often overlooked is to be present. Just "be there." Sounds simple enough, but with the business and social climates that we face today, it is easy to become distracted by everything else. Just don't become so busy that you neglect your wife or husband.

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Another common problem in marriage is outside influences such as family, friends, and even work. Don't let these things interfere with your marriage. Anything that doesn't encourage unity between the two of you will eventually cause trouble in your marriage.

Surely you have heard of this one before, but don't underestimate its importance. Don't go to bed angry. End arguments as quickly as possible. Don't allow those negative feelings to fester and grow inside.

And last, but not least, is to have a lot of understanding for one another. None of us are perfect, and to make things work in a marriage it is going to take a lot of commitment and forgiveness on both parts.

Take some of this advice and watch your marriage improve. Adopt all of this advice, and get ready to see sparks again!

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White lassos? White gloves? White knots? Veils? The word wedding itself? What do they all have in common? They're all symbols of a wedding ritual somewhere in the world.

American brides, of course, traditionally wear white dresses, white gloves and a white veil, all of which symbolize purity and a blank slate, a surface on which the couple can mark their own future. The wedding day is always seen as a starting point, regardless of previous relationships etc. Legend has it that white gloves became a symbol not only of the bride's purity from mundane, trivial things such as work in the marketplace, they were also a sign of sexual purity. If her gloves were white, the bride likely didn't soil them with mere household or career tasks, thus she was perceived to be kept free from outside influences. Also, her white gloves distinguished the bride from other colored gloves, notably the green sleeves that were de rigeur apparel for prostitutes in parts of the British Empire.

In Mexican weddings, the groom places a white ribbon, or white lasso around the neck of his new bride, and then around his own to symbolize their new connection. The mandatory Pinata, often constructed of white papier mache' is then produced at Mexican wedding receptions.

White knots are now appearing in our culture as symbols of marriage equality for everyone. The organization whiteknot.org offers all manner of helpful tips on how to acquire these knots, tie them, distribute them, and even how to organize and conduct your own neighborhood white knot tying party. The motto of the organization is 'Everyone should be allowed to tie the knot'.

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Various other wedding traditions across the world have their roots in the ancient approaches to marriage. Barter and bride price were common in many parts of the western world for centuries. Indeed, the wedding veil is still in common use, and its symbolism isn't hard to guess. In some parts of the world, men sought to add to their property holdings by using their daughters as tender. Depending on the young woman's physical attributes, her father may not always have wished for her to be seen prior to closing the transaction. But tradition held that the young man couldn't see his bride until the deal was sealed, then he lifted the veil to see his life-long companion, and, regardless of his reaction, she was his. There's an incredibly tender love story in that scenario, and I can't wait to write it. A note on this item: the word wedding itself has its root in similar words for trade and gamble.

Why shoes on the wedding couple's getaway car? It's believed that in ancient times, shoes, or likely sandals, were an item of barter. It would make sense, then, that shoes would be exchanged at weddings. And they were, even being thrown at the bride and groom in certain times and places. It seems that somewhat unsafe practice has been replaced by throwing white rice, with the shoes being attached to bumpers instead.

As for the tradition of sacramental marriage, the Catholic Church, as an example, didn't make marriage a sacrament, or refer to the rite as holy matrimony, for several hundred years after its founding. Many Christian denominations, such as the Episcopal Church, still don't count marriage among the sacraments. The current controversy over same-sex marriage, then takes on a whole new meaning in light of many religious organizations' claim that such unions are a-religious, and counter to biblical tradition. Since the various states are, in fact, the endorser of record for marriages, it would seem that religious marriage is not the tradition, but the occasion for ritual, and an additional celebratory exercise for the happy couple. It's equally likely that marriage itself is in the process of being redefined, and reinvigorated once again because of this new understanding. Plus, there is this:

All this discussion of tradition, and the wearing of white dresses, gloves, knots etc. comes with a caveat: in older times the color white was not always a symbol of purity, but of happiness and joy. Also, in Eastern cultures, white is a common symbol of death and oblivion. In Japan, for instance, white is commonly worn at funerals.

Obviously we need to be aware of what our traditions mean, and celebrate them accordingly.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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