Relationships are the core of Life, but they can be a challenge. The real challenge is the way you deal with the differences that start to show up. They always show up because you have two people with different communication styles, different ways of resolving issues, different needs and expectations, and different fears. And all of these will have arisen from their earlier conditioning and relationship experiences.

There is no such thing as a new relationship, because we bring all our previous history into it. So a gap emerges between your assumptions and expectations, and what you live with every day. The temptation is to try and force the reality to conform to the expectation or the image you carry of how it “should” be.

This forcing is one of the major causes of stress and conflict, and technical solutions will do nothing to truly resolve it. The key to permanent change is to become conscious of the beliefs and expectations you bring into your relationships, your automatic patterns, your emotions, and especially your levels of self love and self worth.

Transforming your relationships begins with transforming yourself. At least 80% of communication is unconscious and nonverbal and is the energy you radiate. When you grow and transform yourself, and change your patterns, you dramatically change that 80%, which will change everything in the relationship.

If you feel caught in a difficult relationship then rest assured you can achieve all of the following, and more

Understand why you get caught in the same stuff over and over.
Grow your levels of self love and self worth.
Learn to be truly yourself, and to honour that.
Recognise the higher potential of your relationships.
Communicate clearly and powerfully, yet lovingly.
Get your needs met without arguing and fighting.
Sustain passion and delight through the whole relationship.
Deal with emotions harmoniously and effectively.
Keep your heart open and respond with greater love..
Experience the power of forgiveness and reconciliation.

Relationships can sizzle and sparkle. There will probably always be challenges in relationships but by becoming conscious and growing as a person then you give yourself the best guarantee that those challenges will become an invitation to grow, expand and be fulfilled rather than degenerating into a battleground. The highest potential of relationships is to enable us to grow in love and thereby realise our full potential.

In the next article I will share a couple of ideas on how you can start to change some of the automatic patterns you may feel stuck in.

For help you can email me on,


Author's Bio: 

Clement McGrath brings 32 years of coaching and mentoring experience and a wealth of knowledge to his work. Clement has worked in a variety of roles that have all involved supporting people to reach their full potential and live the life of their dreams.

He has conducted his own private practice for 32 years, has facilitated youth work in a non-profit organisation, has been a contracted provider to a major government department, and director of Life Coach Associates since 2001.

After facilitating Life Coach Associates coach training program for 10 years, he recently stepped aside from that position to focus on creating a variety of programmes that are more accessible to a wider audience.

These include, “Relationship Rescue,” “How to Harness Your Yes Power,” “How to Increase Your Energy and Achieve More,” “Find Your voice: How to Communicate Confidently and Effectively,” and “Awakening to Infinity: A Course in Self Realisation.”

He is available for private consultations and public speaking, and can create customised programmes to address the specific needs of groups and organisations.

Clement is a qualified Breath Therapist, and has studied extensively in the areas of ‘Effective Communication,’ ‘Human Creativity,’ ‘Principles of Peak Performance and Success,’ and ‘Mythology and its Modern Applications.’

He has co-authored the book, “The Way to Freedom,” and is currently completing a book on relationships that he intends to have published in 2015.

Clement lives in Christchurch, New Zealand, with his partner Heather Fletcher.

Contacts for Clement are:

0064 3 355 2297
0064 272 033 694