How does this happen? Here we are loving a person and doing our best to show them we love, cherish and want to be with them to fail miserably at conveying that message. This is even worse when compounded by difficulties and lack or relationship skills partners bring to the table.

But, it doesn’t have to be this difficult to show our love. It doesn’t have to be this difficult to let our partner in our love for them. I have recently come across a book to address just this issue (thanks Ellen for the recommendation!). It is called the Five Love Languages (refer to the resources section). This book teaches us that there are five ways in which partners like to receive love: time spent together, receiving material gifts, receiving compliments and verbal acknowledgement, physical affection, and acts of service (taking care of business, e.i., walking the dog, food shopping, servicing the car, etc.).

There are specific ways we like to receive love, but what we usually tend to do is give love the way we like to receive love. The way we like to receive love might be very different from the way our partner likes to receive love. This is a sure way of not reaching our partner! Let’s say for example that Partner A likes to receive love in the form of elaborate gifts, and that Partner B likes to receive love in the form of praise. Now, imagine this couple giving each other what they like to receive themselves: Partner A will get a bunch of words that could be experienced as lip service and no follow through; Partner B will get an expensive gift that could be experienced as shallow and detached.

Therefore it is important to determine how our partner likes to receive love and for us to gift them the way they like to be gifted. We might just be handing them a world of love!

Happy Loving!!

~ Your MetroRelationship�" Assignment Discuss with your partner the idea of giving each other love the way each of you likes to receive love: time spent together, receiving material gifts, receiving compliments and verbal acknowledgement, physical affection, or acts of service. You might enjoy receiving love in more than one way. Identify your top two and share what are examples of the things that would fall under those categories. Be very specific (i.e., hold my hand when we go to the movies) so you each know how to start better gifting each other with your love!

http://www.metrorelationship.com/SuccessfulCouples/2014/05/want-loved/

Author's Bio: 

Emma K. Viglucci is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, is the creator of the MetroRelationship" philosophy and a variety of Successful Couples " programs and products that assist couples succeed at their relationship and life. To get your downloadable relationship enrichment insights and receive her weekly successful couples articles, nurturing nuggets (sm) and other resources visit: www.metrorelationship.com.