For starters, you can use a vibrating ring which looks like a hair band except it has an external battery with an on-off switch. Have your husband stretch the vibrating ring over his penis and rest it at the base of his erect or non erect penis, and watch the penis come to live as you turn the ring on. Ride him as you usually do and the added stimulation may well help you get a stronger orgasm. If he isn’t comfortable with a vibration ring at the base of his penis, you can always use the vibrating ring for outer play such as on your clitoris or around your vulva. The best thing about vibrating rings is that you can buy them readily at Watsons or Guardian outlets without needing to step into a sex shop.

If you are open to go to a sex shop, ask the shop assistant what they would recommend a lady as a first sex toy. Do you want it for external stimulation or internal? Does the look matter? Or the colour? How about the intensity? Or the types of vibrations you can get out of it? Would it be more value for money for you if it was waterproof? Have a think before you go on in. I usually recommend ladies getting their first sex toy to get something small, discreet and pretty, such as a ‘bullet’ which looks basically like a small egg attached to a wire which leads to a controller. Once you have a positive experience with your first sex toy, you can always go back to the shop and ask for other recommendations. Lastly go to a friendly, sex-positive, and non-pushy sex shop such as U4Ria. I have been recommended all my clients to them because of the above-mentioned reasons and many reported having had positive experiences, including the extremely shy ladies.

Author's Bio: 

Dr. Martha Lee is Founder and Clinical Sexologist of Eros Coaching. She is a certified sexologist with a Doctorate in Human Sexuality. She provides sexuality and intimacy coaching for individuals and couples, conducts sexual education workshops and speaks at public events. For more, visit or email