There are many things that people want in today’s world, and one of those things is to be happy. But although this is what people want, it is not always that they receive. Someone can feel as though it is impossible for them to fulfil this need and that they would have more chance finding the end of a rainbow.

However, when one is happy, it doesn’t mean that they are doing something that fulfils them. It could simply mean that they are drinking alcohol, or that they have taken drugs. One then feels happy due to what they have consumed, and when this experience comes to an end, they could soon feel unhappy.

This would be a sign that their life is not fulfilling and that one feels completely disconnected from what matters. One could feel as though life has no meaning and that they need to take things in order to feel happy.


There are then going to be other people who are happy and this will be because of the kind of life they are living. This doesn’t mean that they constantly feel happy and always have a smile on their face, it means that they are connected to what matters.

Through being connected, one is then able to live a life based on what matters to them. Their life is then a reflection of their needs, and as one is living their ‘truth’, it is possible for them to feel happy.

Out of Touch

Yet, if one was not in touch with their needs, their life would be completely different. They could end up believing that life has no meaning and the only way for them to feel happy is to find things that will stimulate their senses.

When they see other people who are happy, they could come to believe that they have something that they don’t. One could end up feeling like a victim or that they are unlucky. And if one has never been in touch with their needs, this could be seen as normal response.

Looking Outside

When one is in touch with their needs and what is taking place externally reflects their needs, they are going to feel happy. This means that one is not simply looking for the outside world to make them feel happy; they are playing their part through being in touch with their inner world.

If one wasn’t aware of what was going on within them, they are then likely to look outside for meaning and fulfilment. But unless one is aware of what will make them happy, it might not matter where they or what they do.


One thing the Media likes to do is to make people believe they will be happy if they buy a certain product. And while this product may make one feel happy for a short time, it will soon wear off.

Although another person can ask questions and be an example, it is not possible for them to know what one’s needs are. The only person who can find this out is oneself.


So if one is disconnected from themselves, it is only natural for them to look outside for answers. It could be that they have never been around anyone who has encouraged them to look within.

One could come across someone who is happy and believe that if they did the same thing, they would also be happy. But just because someone else is happy doing something, it doesn’t mean that one will be happy doing the same thing.

Social Conditioning

People are conditioned to want certain things and while this is good for the economy (and the people who are creating the products); this might be as far as it goes. The underlying message is that if one buys what is being sold, they will end up feeling happy.

However, this conditioning might be nothing more than a continuation of what they experienced whilst they were growing up. And due to what happened during the beginning of their life, it then set them up to fall for the illusions that society creates.


There are going to be some people who are have always been in touch with their needs and others who have developed this connection later in life. Then there are going to be others who have never been in touch with their needs.

When one is in touch with their needs, it could be due to how they caregivers responded to their needs. If, on the other hand, one is out of touch with their needs, it could mean that one’s caregivers ignored their needs.

The Body

It is also going to be important for one to be in their body, and this will enable them to tune into their needs and feelings. And while one’s needs and feelings could be seen as separate, they are interconnected.

For it is one’s feelings that will let them know if they are doing the right thing and therefore, if their needs are being met. So if one doesn’t know what their needs are, they might have trouble knowing how they feel.


This could mean that needs to deal with the emotional pain that is stopping them from being in their body and as this takes place, one will start to connect to their needs. One might also need to take the time to focus on what matters to them and to step back from their conditioned.

The assistance of a therapist or a healer can allow one to release the emotional pain within them and they can also provide attunement that one may need to be able connect to their needs.

Author's Bio: 

Prolific writer, thought leader and coach, Oliver JR Cooper hails from the United Kingdom. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation; love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With several hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behavior, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. Current projects include "A Dialogue With The Heart" and "Communication Made Easy."

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