Giving Up On Sexless Marriage: Sexless Marriage Advice For Frustrated Spouses

Having a baby is a joyous time in the life of a family to be sure. But the stresses and changes childbirth comes with can easily lead to a sexless marriage. But it doesn't have to be that way! We can learn from others who have gone through similar situations and we can overcome whatever it is that led to the tensions between loving partners.

The simple truth is that any couple can end up in a sexless marriage if the situation is right. Any couple can be overwhelmed after the birth of a child. Any couple can put their sex life on the back burner while then attend to more "pressing issues". Before you know it any of us could be living in a sexless marriage and not even give it much thought. But eventually it will and always does become an issue. Intimacy is a cornerstone of any marriage. That connection is part of the reason we fall in love with our spouses. In the beginning of our relationship we desire that connection all the time. While over time that overwhelming desire fades a bit, the intimacy remains and a healthy sex life is part of any stable marriage.

What can lead to a Sexless Marriage? Let's look at both sides of the issue with the help of a couple who went through what many of us have gone through at some point.

Dad: 'I couldn't believe that after the beginning of our relationship and the first few years of our marriage that things got so bad so quickly. There never seemed to be enough time and when there was there never seemed to be the desire. Watching TV and falling asleep together seemed like a better option than being intimate."

Mom: "I didn't feel sexy at that time. My boobs hurt constantly. I think I had the mindset that my body was for my kid only at that time. The thought of sex just wasn't appealing. I had a desire to be closer to my husband but during our little free time I agree that we were just tired."

This is a big issue for parents after childbirth. Gone are the days of passionate encounters and sneaking off from work to get in some intimate time with your loved one. Romantic rendezvous are replaced with bottle cleaning, diaper changing, the financial pressures of a new family member, and any number of other daily pressures.

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When Did you Realize You Were In A Sexless Marriage?

Dad: "I always had in the back of my mind the six month time period the doctor mentioned for not being with my wife. But after nine months without sex I knew there were bigger issues. I didn't want to admit it at first but they were there."

Mom: "I think I always knew there was an issue there. But a sexless marriage? We just had a kid. I wasn't thinking about it like that. But I could see that it was causing a strain on my marriage after almost a year passed since our daughter's birth and I still didn't feel that overwhelming desire to be intimate."

No one is ever at fault in these situations. Moms and Dads alike both contribute to a sexless marriage whether there are kids involved or not. But in the case of sex after childbirth there are many possible reasons that contribute to the problem. Many couples are financially pressured with their new addition, others simply don't have enough time between multiple kids, and work. Whatever the reasons are that we end up in a sexless marriage there is only one thing to do about it.

Open Communication About A Sexless Marriage - The Key To Making It Better

Dad: "One day I just decided to blurt out that I was unhappy with our sex life. I was surprised those words came out of my mouth as I'm not the type to confront my wife on such things. But I'm glad that I did. It turns out that after a year of little or no intimacy my wife felt the same way I did!"

Mom: "That was a good day. We finally broke the tension. It isn't like we never spoke of it but we always seemed to put it to the side. We never thought we had a sexless marriage per se, but that is exactly what it had become. We knew however that we couldn't fix it ourselves."

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What Did You Do To Fix Your Sexless Marriage?

Dad: "I had no idea what to do. We loved each other just as we did from the day that we met. I was so overwhelmed with what our marriage had become."

Mom: "I saw a video on-line that I connected with. I had been in blogs across the web, but in the end it seemed like they were all filled with people commiserating their misery with no real solutions. They all talked about their sexless marriage leading to divorce talk or cheating. I wasn't going to let that happen. So I watched the video and ended up buying the book that it was promoting."

This EBook really helped the couple. They followed the steps to the letter and worked hard to get back what they had lost. They made a conscious decision to get their marriage back on track.

How Is Your Marriage Now - Are We Still In A Sexless Marriage?

Dad: "No, it is so much better. There isn't the tension and stress that was always there about being together. I'm very happy we got the help we needed. I couldn't have got us out of that rut myself."

Mom: "It is much better, but we are still working on it. But the EBook was great. It gave us goals and ideas. It helped us do what we were obviously unable to do ourselves or we would have done it on our own. I hope that anyone in the situation that we were in would be strong enough to admit the problem and get help. It is worth it and now we can't imagine how we got in that position in the first place."

If you want to help yourselves the way this couple did you can. You can decide to fix the problem. Not confronting the issues will just lead to added tension and resentment. Intimacy in a marriage is a wonderful thing. Make a choice to change your situation. Put a smile back on your faces and feel the chills again when you catch your spouse looking at you that way.

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If you are having marital problems, you are in the right place. Sometimes the simplest advice can do wonders for your relationship, so check out these tips to help solve your marital problems.

How To Solve Marital Problems-1

You're going to argue-get used to it! It's okay to argue and fight, it's when it's happening all the time that you need to think that there is a problem. The important thing is to make sure that you are resolving all your arguments fully - if you find yourselves fighting about the same old thing again and again, then you probably need to get to the bottom of that issue to resolve it.

How To Solve Marital Problems-2

Touch each other! I don't mean in an erotic way, although that's okay too, I just mean don't get out of the habit of being physical with each other. Giving your partner a back massage or a neck rub at the end of a hard day can be rewarding for both of you, and will help you keep that physical contact which is important

What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time

How To Solve Marital Problems-3

Understand the fact that you aren't exactly the same people. Most married couples aren't a perfect match for each other, and in many cases that's what makes it work and makes things exciting - what could be more fun than having a partner who is a little unpredictable and suggests things you don't expect. The differences between you should be embraced, not fought against.

How To Solve Marital Problems-4

Keep your broad strokes to yourself. If you are unhappy because he stayed up late playing poker with his buddies, tell him that. Don't expand things into "You always stay up too late!" or whatever. These expansive criticisms will undoubtedly cause more harm than good, as if you are criticising him for so many thing at once, he has no hope of defending himself sensibly, and will resort to plain old arguing.

How To Solve Marital Problems-5

Give your man a break. This is especially valid if you happen to be the homemaker while your husband works. Just give him some time when he comes home from work. All your news and everything may seem super urgent, but if you attack with it as soon as he comes through the door, you'll do more harm than good. Most men need a few minutes to relax and unwind before they want to get involved in anything.

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"Let's Divorce!" This is the line that most couples would hear when their marriage is on the rocks. Is this the end my marriage? How can I save a doomed marriage? These are the questions that will linger in the mind of troubled couples. Firstly, I think the only impossibility for a marriage not to work out is when both parties choose to give up. The fact is most problems can be worked out and there are many better ways than divorce.

You must be thinking " I have tried almost any methods that could bring back my ex." Were you trying these methods all the while?

1) Trying to convince that you cannot live without them.

2) You beg, cry or scream for patching up.

3) Promise and swear that "this will be the last time".

4) You apologize profusely for everything even when you know it is not your fault.

5) You tried calling her mobile phone countless time.

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You probably might not know all these are deadly mistakes. Am I sure about it? Yes, pal. All these methods may work for you the first or second time, but it is not going to solve the problem forever. If the problem happen again, your spouse is going to be more defensive and angrier than the first time.

A good marriage does not come by easy, it has to be nurtured. Most importantly you need to have the patience and understanding to do so. Remember, there is no such thing as a doomed marriage unless you have decided to sentence your marriage to death.

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Working through marital conflict can be a challenging task. In fact, if you are like most people in the midst of marital troubles, you might have actually come to feel that working through marital conflict is not only a daunting but perhaps an impossible task. But the truth is that you do have the ability within yourself to draw upon your own resources to at least work towards working through marital conflict. In other words, you do not need to throw up your arms in despair. This article shows you how you can make the most of you internal resources in order to really get down to the work of resolving conflict in your marriage.

The first internal resource that you have at your command when it comes to working through marital conflict is your own integrity. In this regard, if you strive to make sure that you maintain a sense of honesty throughout the process of working through marital conflict, you will end up feeling more positive about yourself and will have a far clearer and accurate perspective on the situation as a whole.

What if your spouse already left you? Here's how to get them back.

The next internal resource that you can access when you are working through marital conflict is humor. Of course, when you initially read this you may immediately respond that there is nothing funny about marital problems. And while on some level this is true (although many people who have succeeded at working through marital conflict may differ), there are still light hearted moments to be found in life. By injecting a bit of humor into your own life and situation, you will be able to feel more positively even about the difficulties you are facing in your marriage. And without question, a more positive attitude and approach will give you an advantage when it comes to the task of working through marital conflict.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

Author's Bio: 

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