Getting Real About Arnold Schwarzenegger

Every time there's a new scandal in the media involving a man cheating on his wife, I'm besieged with emails, Facebook posts and friends asking my opinion.

And it was no different when headlines across the world announced Arnold Schwarzenegger's recent scandal. My purpose in life is to be a peacekeeper and bring consciousness amongst women and men – I embody this. With that said, I feel it’s my responsibility to bring some neutral energy to this and other similar stories you’ve been exposed to the past few months involving men in the public eye.

First, let’s get very real about the role of the media.

The media is a business. And - like any other business – the focus is on the bottom line with the goal to turn a profit every year. The media makes money through attracting recognizable brand names who pay top dollar for strategic placement to sell their goods and services.

This is why ...

- You see 17 minutes of commercials during a 60 minute TV show
- A 30 second spot during the Superbowl costs 3 million dollars
- The first 10 pages of most fashion magazines are devoted to advertising – at Vogue this can set you back $30,000 per page.

So, it only makes sense magazines, newspapers and television have a vested interest in capturing as much of your attention as possible to keep their advertisers happy. If the media fails to grab your attention, they go out of business.

Clearly the accountants have crunched the numbers and determined that “Men Cheating on Wives” is a profitable headline. What’s interesting to me are the recent studies revealing 45-55% of married women and 50-60% of married men will have extramarital affairs.

Meaning, women are equally tempted as men to step outside the marriage.  Apparently, “Women Cheating on Men” just doesn’t sell.

Don’t get me wrong, the media has and always will serve me well in terms of increasing my visibility and exposure and I’m grateful for this. But, then again, my message is about improving people’s lives and helping them be the best they can be – that’s good news.

What bothers me about the recent focus on men having affairs is the damage it does to the collective consciousness of women.

As the media bombards us with stories like Schwarzenegger’s, a tremendous amount of anger gets kicked up amongst women – creating a collective mindset that ALL men cheat and can’t be trusted. What we focus on expands.

Unfortunately what you never hear about is what’s happening behind the scenes of these scandals. I’ve coached men who have had affairs and witnessed first- hand the deep level of shame, guilt and embarrassment they experience. The pain they suffer through disappointing their partners this way is a sad thing to watch.

If we look at this from a highly conscious perspective, you would see these men as human beings who made choices that hurt themselves and others. How often have any of us made a choice that hurt us and people we love? Probably several times in one lifetime.

These men are being picked out, raked over the coals and publicly persecuted because that’s what sells. It does NOT mean every man in the world is going to have an affair. It just happens to be a profitable subject – along with war, crime and natural disasters.

I’m not condoning the actions of Schwarzenegger, Switzer, Woods and any man (or woman) who chooses to have an affair. What I’m inviting you to remember is we’re human, we’re fallible and when there’s a fork in the road – there’s no guarantee any of us will choose the least painful path.

My tips for you today are simple:

1. Choose the news you watch carefully.
2. Don’t gossip.
3. Take a cue from Val Litwin who I featured today. Give back to your community through your own act of kindness by sharing this article with the women in your life.

Author's Bio: 

Kim Sarrasin is a relationship expert, mentor and speaker who helps single men and women "Solve the mystery of the opposite sex". Want to learn more about simple ways to relate with the opposite sex, have more fun dating and discover how you can get all you're needs met? Then check out her website,, to find out more about her Dating & Relating Weekend Workshop and to sign up for her FREE audio mini-workshop "5 Essential Steps For Dating Success."