Divorce can be a very stressful time in your life. There are a number of issues you have to deal with such as custody, if you have children and dividing up property. But when the relationship between the two parties is toxic, that can make the situation far worse.
The one thing a person cannot do when facing divorce is slip into a depression and feel as though their entire world is crumbling. Regardless of how tough it gets, you have to keep your chin up and realize that everything will work out eventually. While some divorces are amicable, far too often things get very nasty during a divorce. Children are unwitting victims of divorce. It can affect them 10 times worse than the parents. It I imperative that children are shielded, especially if the things are ugly.
Divorce doesn't have to be looked at as a sign of failure. Sometimes things simply just don't work out regardless of how hard you try. But how you go forward is completely up to you. You have too much at stake to just sit back and wallow in self-pity. After you get a hold of your attorney, let them do the heavy lifting. That's what they get paid to do. Let them handle things like custody and residential issues in the interim.
Once the papers are signed, you need to hit the ground running. Find time to do things that you were unable to do when you were married. Go back to school, finish an old project, get out of the house and have a drink with the girls once a week. You have a tremendous support system. Your friends can be a much needed shoulder to cry on during and after your divorce. There are a number of things you can do to raise your self esteem. Once you start feeling more value in your life, the more value you will feel.
When you get divorced, the last thing you may want to hear is "it's going to be alright." But what you will find somewhere down the line is, it is going to be alright. It depends on what you do to keep your spirits up, and what you do to fulfill the void. And after you feel like you've licked your wounds long enough from an emotional standpoint, you can get back into the dating game. But only do that when you are absolutely ready.
I am a freelance writer and blogger who focuses on business, health and other various topics. I graduated with a bachelor's degree in communication from UCLA and currently reside in Santa Cruz with my dog, Sassy.