What if you already had the key to unlock aspects of yourself that you never knew existed? What if you’ve already done so in your life? What can you learn about who you already are from those precious moments you’ve experienced in the past? What if you knew that that voice in your head telling you that something was wrong with you—which we all have, so it’s not personal about you!!—was a lie?

Most of us have had some moment in our lives when we experienced a sense of liberation, of being in the “zone,” of feeling a connection to another person or to life.

It may be while you are making love, or feeling that deep intimacy with another, when that sense of separation falls away and you feel completely free of your mind.

It may have been a time when you experienced a deeper sense of connection with nature, with God, with music, or to a piece of art, or to something that had great meaning for you.

Perhaps you sensed a feeling of oneness, and experienced a loss of self-consciousness, or a total involvement in what you were doing while you were meditating of doing yoga.

Or, you might have been “lost” in a sports activity such as running, basketball, or swimming, or been consumed by a creative activity like writing, painting, singing, or experienced a moment of deep gratitude or love.

All of these moments, which regretfully last for all too short a period of time, reveal that there is another way of experiencing yourself and life. You may not have grasped the implications of these experiences, but you know that they were real. You know that you tasted something wonderful.

At these times you might recognize that you are more loving, confident, secure, content, free, at ease, and happy. What if this is really who you are? What if you were actually getting a glimpse into something quite extraordinary about yourself? What would that say about who you are? What would it say about how you can live your life? I suggest that you begin to consider this possibility by asking yourself these very questions.

If you take these questions seriously, they will provide a roadmap for your return home to your true self. I assure you that there is an unimaginable source of freedom, joy and strength waiting on the other side of your doubts and fears. And it’s waiting to be expressed. All your true self needs is for you to set it free. This part of yourself is always there, always available, and can be the source of wisdom for the most important choices and decisions you make in your life.

Maybe you’ve never experienced moments of freedom or you feel that accessing this perspective is unattainable at this moment. Possibly you’re hearing your ego object, “No, this can’t work for me, because there is something very wrong with me. I am too insecure, weak, fat, short, hopeless, unlovable, or (fill in the blank).” It could also be saying, “It can’t be this easy or everyone would already be doing it.”

What if you began to recognize and disregard these expressions of doubt and fear as the calling card of the ego? What if you began to choose that perspective you have already experienced? From there you can begin to focus on what you want from life, rather than on what’s wrong, and your freedom from the doubt and fear will be yours for the taking.

Feelings will no longer grip or control you because you will make the choice about how to respond to them. This will be true even in the most difficult, seemingly impossible circumstances. What’s more, doing so will be fun. I know that it sounds too good to be true, but it isn’t.

You can discover that freedom is a choice, and happiness is a choice. Being who you are each and every day is a choice. It is simply a choice like turning on a light so that you can see, or drinking water to relieve your thirst. It is simply a choice that you can make anytime, anywhere, under any circumstance. What is experienced at these wondrous moments of coming into contact with your true self is the realization that this perspective has always been there, and can never be lost.

What you need for this shift to occur is a sincere commitment to wanting to end your suffering, and the willingness to discover places you never knew existed. What it comes down to, and this is the splendor of the process, is making the choice to leave your pain behind so that you can have a life you might only have dreamed possible.

This is what I call Getting Out Of The Box. It’s simply choosing the perspective of your “true self”.

Try it right now by asking yourself:

• What if I was free, how would life look?

• How would I see myself?

• How would I see what I'm concerned about or afraid of?

• How do I want my life to be?

• What am I willing to do to make it happen?

Can you see that the fear and doubt recedes so that what’s truly important to you becomes your focus? That’s very liberating and exciting!!

I will be writing more articles in the coming weeks about using this simple, powerful and transformative process for healing your relationships and yourself, so that you can finally have the life you are looking for. And you can also purchase my Google e-book, Out Of The Box For Life from my website immediately (and very inexpensively. Enjoy!

Author's Bio: 

My passion in life is to help individuals and couples quickly find solutions to even the most challenging issues, so that they can reconnect with a new sense of possibility and joy for what life can truly be.

The short-term, solution-oriented approach focuses on the future rather than the past. In our work together you will quickly learn how to shift your perspective from one in which you may feel frustrated, stuck, scared or angry, to a perspective, in which you will find the intention, the will, the compassion, and the wisdom you need to move forward.

It is a simple, fun, yet powerful approach, based on 35 years of experience, and described in my book, Out of the Box for Life: Being Free is Just a Choice (HarperCollins).

I am also the only therapist in the NYC area, who is certified by John Gray, the author of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.

Through our work, you will learn to rapidly resolve most issues in your life, by shifting your perspective to one that will immediately reveal the path to creating the life, and the relationship that you truly want.

I look forward to speaking with you about what we can resolve and create together. That’s a pretty exciting possibility!