You have a relationship with everyone and everything in your life. You have relationships with people, objects, concepts, even seemingly insignificant things like food or your TV. If you want to improve your relationships or attract new ones, here are some simple yet effective techniques:
***Learn to love yourself.***
Your outer world reflects your inner world. All of your relationships reflect the relationship you have with yourself. Louise Hay, an amazing metaphysical teacher and author of “You Can Heal Your Life,” often discusses how our relationships are actually mirrors of ourselves. Once you discover the underlying belief or behavior, then you can change it. And when you change yourself, your outside experiences will reflect your internal state of well-being.
The second reason to learn to love yourself is that you cannot attract love if you don’t love yourself. Like attracts like. If you constantly degrade and judge yourself, then you will attract people who treat you the same. If you don’t love yourself, you may also sabotage any relationships you have because you feel unworthy, are afraid of intimacy, or feel unlovable — just to name a few!
Love always comes from within. I think this is the hardest concept to accept. But once you do, you become your own source of love and never again will your personal value, worthiness, or lovability depend on another.
***Be loving and you will be lovable.***
Both Louise Hay and Lester Levenson teach this lesson. Lester said, “Only by loving does love come to us. The more we love, the more love comes to us.” Louise tells us, “Love is never outside ourselves; love is within us.”
You are your own source of love. You also attract what you send out. If you are loving, then you will attract love. Love begets love.
***Be open to receiving love.***
“Living with Joy” is a delightful book by Sanaya Roman — I think it is one of the most useful books on the subject of joy, law of attraction, spiritual transformation and personal power. “Living with Joy” adeptly describes the importance of being open to receiving:
“The more you give and receive love the greater your [personal] growth. Every moment you spend focused on something that is not working, thinking of someone who does not love you, makes you turn away from love.
Every time you recognize the love you have, you increase it. One of the laws of receiving is that recognizing when you have gotten something increases it in your life, and every time you do not acknowledge something you make it so much harder to have more sent to you.
The more you focus on what is wrong, the more wrong you will create in your life; the more it will spread to other areas that WERE working. The more you concentrate on what is right in your life, what is working, the more other areas of your life will work. It is the same in receiving. The more you acknowledge how much you are receiving, the more you will have.”
Acknowledge the love that you do have in your life and give thanks and appreciation. In return, you will open yourself up to receiving even more love.
***Stop judging and start accepting.***
It is impossible to love someone while at the same time placing judgment on them — they are completely opposite emotions. It would be like trying to stand up and sit down at the same time. You can’t.
To improve any relationship you must stop judging the other person (or thing). Sometimes, this is easier said than done.
I really like Abraham Hicks’ “List of Positive Aspects” exercise. Sit down and write a list of all the things you like about the person or thing. This will shift your awareness into a more loving perspective — remember, you can’t stand up and sit down at the same time. When you do this, you start to attract more positive feelings and experiences.
***Give up trying to control the other person.***
What you resist persists. If you resist a particular behavior in another person, you are actually making that behavior even more pronounced.
Wanting to change or control someone holds in mind what you don’t want. If you are familiar with the law of attraction, then you know that what you hold in mind is what you tend to get.
Let me explain. Wanting is a distinct feeling or sensation of not having. When you want something — like to control the other person or change his/her behavior — you experience the agony of not having control. Wanting holds in mind lack — in this case, a lack of control. You probably feel like a victim to this person’s behavior. If you are holding in mind lack, then that’s what you are going to get.
You must make a decision to stop wanting control. It is a simple question, can you let go of wanting to control that person? The answer should be “yes!”
The Release Technique has some absolutely phenomenal exercises on improving relationships.
***Make sure the relationship is mutual.***
This is more free relationship advice courtesy of the Release Technique. Every relationship in your life should be a relationship of mutuality.
What do you want from the other person? What do you want to give the other person? What do you think the other person wants to give you? What do you think the other person wants from you?
Make a list of things you both want to give and receive from the relationship. Ask yourself if it is mutual (guess if you don’t know). If you answered ‘no’ to many of the items, then you’ve got big problems — the relationship is not mutual. It is not worth pursuing.
***Let go of wanting love and approval.***
I’ve already discussed how wanting holds in mind lack. Pursuing love never works. It only creates longing and unhappiness.
To experience love you must move out of ‘wanting love’ into ‘having love.’ The only way to do this is to release your attachments and aversions to wanting love and approval.
***Use feng shui to enhance all of your relationships.***
Feng shui is a very powerful way to enhance any relationship.
For free feng shui romance tips, click here.