Most people feel that they're not yet living the life they really want. Oh, there are some portions of it that are satisfying but in other areas there is still a lot of striving going on. Maybe this describes you or someone you know.

In the early years, it described me, too. Sure, I received my share of accolades in school and in my career, but it was still tough to sustain being happy and at peace with myself. I was fascinated with the fortitude of people that didn't let adversity get in their way. I wanted to be that person that could remain positive no matter what the circumstances.

Over time, I learned how to no longer be a prisoner of my beliefs and a slave to my emotions.

1. You get what you focus on. If you place your attention on thinking something "is hard" or "I can't do...", then that's what you'll experience. Your negative belief becomes a self-filling prophecy.

2. You can change your mindset. You can choose that your thoughts match your preferred beliefs by simply replacing "I can't" to "I CAN do this." With practice you'll get better at this and feel more confident.

3. You can harness the power of your emotions. You can learn to use your built-in power switch. This switch allows you to increase the volume of your positive thoughts and dim the
negative ones; when you do, your feelings will follow suit!

Sounds great, right? But how do you get started? OK, I'll give you the ABCs for activating your inner switch.

A. Awareness

The first step is to become aware of the thoughts in your head. You'll be surprised at how many times your mind will be "running the maze" with negative thoughts. Let go of these common self-defeating statements:

I'll probably get sick.
I've never been good at this.
It's difficult because ...

B. Belief

Remind yourself of your accomplishments. Identify the key attributes that helped you succeed. Here are some examples:
commitment, determination, tenacity, flexibility, learning agility, creativity, curiosity, faith, enthusiasm, and so on. Tap into the great qualities you already possess.

C. Change

Change happens more quickly with a support system. Create a reminder system for added accountability. Post your reminders where you will see them often: your bathroom mirror,
your fridge, your car or your computer. You can also solicit the help of a buddy or coach to help you stay on track.

Soon you'll be able to dim the negative messages that arise within yourself or from outsides sources. When you flip that switch in your mind, you'll change your "stinkin' thinking" to:

I'm staying healthy.
I'm getting better at this.
It's easy because ...

What I've described above goes beyond positive thinking. It's not about trying to trick your mind into thinking all is well when it isn't. You have the right to feel upset, but why would
you take up residence there? Bring out the good in you. Challenge yourself to turn your situation around in order to experience lasting confidence, calm and happiness.

Wishing you savvy success!


[For more information on how to take strategic steps that lead to a glorious life, refer to "Less Drama, More Fun-Your Road to Personal Freedom at]

Author's Bio: 

Barbara McRae, MCC, is a nationally known Master Certified Coach and a recognized expert in professional coaching as profiled in BusinessWeek magazine, USA Today, and The New York Times, and elsewhere.