Feeling Disconnected From Husband: My Husband I Have Grown Apart

If you are thinking about how to make your husband love you again, there are some simple ideas that you should consider. Many times women feel that the man they love is pulling away and they think the only instant solution to this is to force him into talking about his feelings. But unfortunately men do not always like or want to share everything about their feelings and if you pressure them with it continuously, they may become irritated, which can make the situation even worse. So rather than asking him to talk about his feelings, try to change the way he feels without him knowing it.

The first and most important thing to focus on when you are working on making your husband love you again is how to make him feel good about himself. A woman who is successful in making her man a better man, gets loved by her man. That is one of the reasons for your husband to fall in love with you. You should make him love himself more. In order to reinforce that feeling you have to zero in on his good and best qualities and make sure that he knows how much you appreciate those qualities in him. You should compliment him often, but not too much or you don't have to over do it where it becomes obvious what you're doing. Be thankful to him for his contributions to you and for your family.

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Next thing that you want to consider when you think about how to make your husband love you again is the dynamics between the both of you. It is very common for a couple to fall into more of a co-parenting or roommate dynamic after a child's birth in their life. A child takes all of the attention and focus of your marriage for itself. However, you should not neglect your husband. If you just haven't had some time alone for just you two, arrange for such good times. Even if only one night a week, try to give some time to each other, go to a movie or a dinner or you can also plan for a second honeymoon, it is very important. You need to put in the effort and time to find the romantic part of your relationship once again with your spouse.

What else is wrong with your marriage? Are you not able to show or not showing him the love he is looking for? You may be tired after all of the house work and taking care of the kids, but you should make extra time so as to not neglect your husband, you should take care of your husband like you used to. Though you may not be intentionally neglecting him, he may feel that way and it is up to you to reinforce his worth and your love for him.

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The goal of this article is to help you save your marriage today by looking at some of the common marriage problems couples face such as; communication breakdown and finances. Let's get started in helping you get on the right path to save your marriage today.

Communication Breakdown

Marriage at it's very best has both spouses openly and honestly expressing their thoughts, concerns, desires and dreams to each other and being able to give constructive healthy feedback in a timely manner. That's not the norm unfortunately. However, the foundation of a marriage that lasts usually has at it's core good communication, and will help you save your marriage today.

If you can't communicate very well you are left just tolerating each other which can cause a build-up of anger and frustration and one day become very destructive to your marriage.

If you are struggling with communication figure out why. It's time to examine what has changed over the years that prevents you from being open and honest. The best place to start is right now by looking forward and not backwards.

Have a non-confrontational conversation over a quite dinner where you get to the root of the matter. Gently explore how you used to be able to talk about stuff but don't feel comfortable doing so now. You probably will discover that there is no real reason for you not to be communicating.

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Commit to making communication a priority again in your marriage today going forward. It would be a good idea to revisit the issue a month later to see how you are doing.

What you may discover, is that other issues created a wall between you, which is the real reason why communicating was such a challenge.

Finances

These economic times we live in today are putting great pressures on marriages and your ability to respond and handle the pressure will save you from caving in. Not having enough money for rent or mortgage or paying the credit card bills and car payments creates all kinds of frightening feelings and often times couples begin to take their frustration out on each other.

OK, you need to talk about your finances and agree on the following;

1. You are where you are and there is no need to let the past dictate your future.

2. You will work together to ensure that you don't add to the crisis by making foolish or unnecessary purchases.

3. You will be open and honest about income and spending.

Trust, commitment and working together are the keys to being able to deal with your finances and save your marriage and not let the economic pressures of today drive a wedge between you.

I hope and pray that you really want to save your marriage today and I know if you are committed nothing can come between you.

If you can improve your communication and openness regarding finances, so much stress will be removed from your marriage starting today. You will feel as though a heavy burden has been lifted off your shoulders.

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There is a lot of advice offered concerning marriage. For instance, never marry a tennis player. To them "love" means nothing.

I advise young girls to try to marry an archeologist. The older you get, the more he is interested in you.

I've always liked Ben Franklin practical advice. He said that people should prepare for marriage with both eyes open and live it with one eye closed.

My advice centers on "words." I believe words have great power. Indeed, transforming power. So I advise all married couples to use frequently the following words.

First to all, six words: They make up two sentences. "I am sorry." "I forgive you." It has been wisely said that a successful marriage is the union of two great forgivers. All people are imperfect. And the only way imperfect people can live in peace and harmony is through the habit of forgiveness. (If only nations would understand this.)

Five words: "We can work this out." Our left hand and right hand may argue, but they have to work things out because they are of one body. In marriage two become one. Unselfishness and trust will lead a married couple to find solutions to problems that are win-win, and good of the whole body.

Four words: "Come, let us pray." In Psalm 127 we read, "Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build." It is God who calls people to marriage. It is God who sustains marriage. But husband and wife have to ask, and then give thanks.

Three words: "Tell me more." Marriage can present a lifetime of discovery, of insight, of wonder and of joy, if husband and wife take the time and make the effort to do the most difficult of human activities, and that is to listen. They have to put aside the "I" word and say instead, "Tell me more." And then pay attention, so that they can eventually say, "Now I understand."

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Two words: "Thank you." It is good to imagine your spouse walking around with a sign on his or her forehead that reads, "Appreciate me." A thankful and appreciating heart is always life giving. It is a sure way to make another smile.

One word: "We." In marriage husband and wife become a new creation. Man and woman are no long two, but one -- one heart, one spirit, one body. One in love.

To use and live out these 21 words involves a journey. First there is a journey out of oneself into a relationship that is a "we." Then there is a journey of this new "we" into God, so that the "we" is now three, -- husband, wife, and God, -- bonded together by love.

St Augustine so wisely said, "Show me a person in love and I will show you a person on the way to God."

And a folk song of years ago put it this way, The more I love you the more I know... I'm in love with my God."

And then there is the spiritual mission of marriage. St. Francis told his followers, "Preach the gospel. If necessary, use words." Example is powerful. When people observe a husband and wife loving each other with a love that is expansive, intimate, unconditional, total, absolute and forever, they will come to understand who God is.

In the Roman Liturgy of Canada we read, "Marriage...is the most powerful symbol of God's love for the world." If people want to know what God is like, they are to look at husband and wife united in love.

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Finally, we are aware of how important the sun is for life. The sun gives us light. The sun gives us warmth. And the sun helps things to grow. On their wedding day, husband and wife say in effect to one another.

"I want to be like the sun in your life. I want to be the light that shows forth the inner goodness and beauty that I see deep within you. I want to be the warmth that is affection, tenderness and care. And I want to inspire and encourage you to grow and be your best self each day of our life together."

Light. Warmth. And growth...

The sun is also very faithful. Never misses a day. Always rises and always sets. To be like to sun to one another is to be loyal, faithful and true, there to be counted upon in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, until death.

All this is impossible, -- unless the Lord is with them. So husband and wife humbly ask for God's blessings. They ask him to be always present in their hearts and in their home as they continue to live out their wedding vows each day of their lives.

Family and friends are not only around to support and encourage a married couple. Family and friends also look to be inspired. As they watch husband and wife live out their marriage commitment, they will be inspired to more deeply reverence, respect and cherish all human persons. And by this example will all come to see that our God is the God of love.

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