Father Wounds: Can A Man Reject His Feminine Aspect If He Had An Abusive Father?

On one side, a man will have a masculine aspect, and, on the other, he will have a feminine aspect. But, although he will have two sides to this nature, it doesn’t mean that this is something that will stand out.

He could generally come across as though he is only made up of the masculine aspect and doesn’t possess a feminine aspect. If it was put forward to him that he has both sides, he could also say that this is not true, or words to that effect.

His Personality

So, regardless of if it does or doesn’t have a strong muscular physique, he could be stoic, with it appearing as though very little fazes him. Along with this, he could be very assertive and only too happy to share his views.

If he does engage in self-reflection, the amount of time he does this might pale in comparison to the amount of time he spends doing things. Thus, like a toy that has been wound up, he could often be on the go.

One Area

This may then mean that he has been able to attain a certain level of success in one or a number of areas of his life. If so, some men and women may see him as having made it.

As a result of this, it can be normal for some men to provide him with a lot of positive feedback. If he has an online presence, this is something that could also take place online.

Another Area

When it comes to the women he is attracted to, they could be very feminine; having more in common with little girls than grown women. Due to this, he could be more like their father than their equal.

But, there is the chance that he will see himself and men in general as being superior to women. He could believe that, as he is a rational human being and not very emotional, it means that he is more evolved.

Two Levels

What this will illustrate is that he will see the intellect/mental self as being above the emotional self. When he comes across a woman or a man who is overly emotional, he could believe that they lack self-control and are weak.

Unlike him, they will be controlled by their emotions as opposed to being the ones who are in control of them. With this in mind, it could be said that a big part of his life is about self-control and not being led by his emotions, or anything or anyone else for that matter.

One Step Back

At this point in time, he might just prefer to have casual encounters. By not being strongly connected to how he feels and a number of his needs as a consequence, he might only want sex from a woman.

This could be seen as just about the only thing that a woman can offer him. If he is in a relationship, he is unlikely to have a deep connection with her and she could then be more like an associate.

A Strong Response

As he is clear about how a man should behave, if he was to come across a man who is overly emotional, he could end up heavily criticising him. He could say that he needs to get it together and stop acting like a woman.

He will have lost touch with and be at war with his own sensitivity, so he won’t be able to accept it when another man expresses this side of his being. Or, if he doesn’t criticise him externally, he could do this inside his own mind.

What’s going on?

If a man is more or less estranged from the other side of his being, it could be an effect of what took place during his formative years. This may have been a time when he was brought up in a very cold and loveless environment.

His mother may have been very passive and fearful, and his father may have been very aggressive and violent. Ego, his mother would have provided him with a very disempowering view of the feminine and his father with a very destructive view of the masculine.

A Brutal Time

If father may have often physically harmed him and been incredibly critical, deeply wounding him in the process. He would then have learned that it was too dangerous to show his other side and that, to survive, he had to hide this side of his nature.

This would have taken place automatically as opposed to it being something that he chose to do. Along with this, the environment that he grew up in would have ended up defining his view of what the world was like.

Deeper Down

Behind his need to control how he feels and to be tough will be the scared boy that he once was. Dropping his guard and showing his softer side, is going to be seen as a threat to his survival.
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But, as his body is likely to be strongly armoured against his pain, it is unlikely that he would just be able to drop his guard anyway. He is likely to be carrying a lot of hurt behind his tough shell.

Awareness

If a man can relate to this and he is ready to change his life, he may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.