Nowadays, it is not uncommon for someone to have a strong need to be known by a lot of people. Thanks, in a part, to modern-day technology, there is a myriad of different ways in which someone can achieve this goal.

However, in the past being known by a lot of people was largely seen as something that was a by-product of doing or contributing something, for instance. It was then, as if often the case now, not something that was typically sought directly.

A Legitimate Path

So, if someone has the need to be famous, they might not even question why they have this need. But, if they live in a society where so many people both have this need and do what they can to fulfil it, why would they?

If they were to think about why they want to be famous, this could be a time when they will imagine a number of positive scenarios and feel good. As to how they will be able to achieve this goal, they could have a number of ideas in mind.


Whilst they are working towards this goal, they could pay a lot of attention to one or a few people who are, for whatever reason, famous. When this takes place, there could be times when they experience positive feelings and negative feelings.

If they experience positive feelings, they could feel valued and loved and if they experience negative feelings, they could feel ignored and invisible. There may be times when they even experience jealousy and envy.

The Next Stage

As time goes by, they may start to experience a certain level of fame and, before long; they might attain the level of fame that they desire. Once this has taken place, they could feel deeply satisfied.

Then again, this could be a time when they will feel deeply unsatisfied and as though something is missing. But, even if what they expected to happen once they were famous doesn’t happen; they could soon do what they can to increase the level of fame that they have.

A Battle

What could also consume a lot of their attention is the fear of losing what they have achieved and falling into the background once again. It could then be normal for them to see certain people as opposition.

At the same time, the years could go by and they might not be able to make much progress when it comes to this goal. What they desire is then going to remain out of their reach and this is likely to have a negative effect on them.

One Area

Now, regardless of whether someone has or hasn’t been able to achieve their desired outcome, there is a strong chance that their relationships won’t be very fulfilling. The people in their life could be more like associates, with them typically talking to them about what they have been doing and what is going on in the world, for instance.

In this case, they won’t open up about how they feel and feel deeply connected to anyone. Yet, they might not have a strong connection to their emotional self and thus, how they feel will typically be a mystery.

A Closer Look

One way of looking at this would be to say that if they had a deeper connection with the people in their life or just had close relationships with others, they wouldn’t have the need to receive so much from people that they don’t know. Nonetheless, if they don’t have a strong connection with their emotional self and are in a shut down state, they won’t truly be able to take in the love that would be around them.

Based on this, behind the need that someone has to be famous can be the need to receive love. But, if they are in an emotionally shut down state, they won’t be aware of this need and neither will they be able to take in the love that they crave.

What’s going on?

At this point, it can seem strange as to why someone would have such a strong need for love and be shut down and unable to receive it. What this is likely to show is that their early years were a time when they were deprived of what they needed to grow and develop in the right way.

Throughout this period of their life, they may have often been physically harmed and/or neglected. If so, they would have often felt worthless, rejected, unwanted, unloved and bad.

One option

As they were powerless and totally dependent, their only option was to disconnect from how they felt and go into a shut down state. The pain that they experienced, along with some of their developmental needs would have been automatically repressed by their brain.

The years would have passed and they would have lost touch with both their unmet developmental and adult need to be loved, but, from outside of their conscious awareness, this need, along with the pain that they experienced very early on and continue to accumulate as an adult by being deprived, will have been filling them with drive and this drive will have been directed towards them being famous. The experience that they have when they are famous will have a lot in common with what they needed but missed out on during their formative years.

The Connection

If they were loved during their early years, it would have meant that their developmental needs were typically met. This would have been a time when they were seen, heard, cherished, protected, touched and held, among other things.

When they are famous, this can also be a time when they are seen, heard, cherished and protected, if not touched and held. They will be the centre of attention, which is what they needed to be very early on in order to go through each developmental stage.

Symbolic Parents

But, as this stage of their life is over and their fellow human beings are not their parent, not to mention them being in a shut down state, being the centre of attention once more won’t have the same effect as it would have done back then. The only thing it is likely to do is to take the edge of the tension that they experience and make them feel better momentarily.

For them to truly move on from this stage of their life and to be able to open up to the love that is inside them and outside of them and form real relationships, they are most likely going to need to face the pain and express the unmet developmental needs that were not met all those years ago. This is something that will take courage and patience and persistence.


If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, inner child and inner awareness. With over two thousand, eight hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

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