When you fake an orgasm, you are essentially putting on a show for the benefit of your partner. Your reasons could vary from “getting it over with”, “sparing his feelings”, misleading yourself with “what he doesn’t know won’t hurt”, to the inner satisfaction of “pulling it off” and “getting away with it”. Whatever your reasons, it is important to call a spade a spade: you are lying to your partner, and more importantly to yourself.

What is nobler is taking ownership of your sexual pleasure by staying true to your physical experience, emotional connection with your partner and the intimacy possibilities from giving of yourself. It would be useful to reflect on your reasons for faking, deal with the underlying issues, and be proud of being a more authentic person in every way. And remember, you don’t have to do this alone. You can reach out for support in the form of a trained sexologist comfortable to talk about your sexual anxiety and concerns.

Author's Bio: 

Dr. Martha Lee is Founder and Clinical Sexologist of Eros Coaching. She is a certified sexologist with a Doctorate in Human Sexuality. She provides sexuality and intimacy coaching for individuals and couples, conducts sexual education workshops and speaks at public events. For more, visit www.eroscoaching.com or email drmarthalee@eroscoaching.com.