Self Improvement by Learning and overcoming Frustration in Love

In this world, no one can escape the torture of frustration because it is mission impossible for all our desires to be satisfied. This applies to anyone, regardless whether you are rich or poor, man or woman, old or young, you still experience frustration.The things one doesn't bave, he will long for it. When he already has certain things, he desire for more or some changes. Unfulfiled desire is common to everyone out there so that create the ignition for frustration to happen.

In the aspects of the heart, the longing for the love of another always brings frustration to people. When a perosn falls in love and finds that his or her feelings are not reciprocated, he or she will become frustrated and this is a common occurance among the young. Even conditions that are clearly favourable can change unexpectedly. I will illustrate this with the story "Who married the girl?". The story goes...

Once there was a young chap that has fallen deeply in love with a girl from another town. He wrote long letters to her daily without fail to express his love for her. After sending no less that a few hundred letters, he discovered to his horror that the girl had fallen in love and married the postman who had delivered the letters.

Some people fall in love at first sight and remain happy for the rest of their lives, however there are also cases where they realized that it was infatuation and regret it later. But in most cases, love takes time to grow. Therefore if the love does not blossom instantly, one should not be disheartened too easily. There is a saying that a faint heart never won a fair lady which means that a person who gives up too easily will not be able to marry the one he desires.

Some people can conduct themselves well and eventually draw the other's attention to their kindness, consideration, steadfastness and love for the other. When one presents oneself well, there is every chance that the other party will start to realize the good qualities and develop warm feelings and all these may take time, it is definitely not an overnight feat. But bear in mind, there must be a limit in trying to win the heart of the other, especially when the answer is a clear "NO" and extremes in expressing love should be avoided. One must always give the other the right to make one's own decision and respect it.There is no law in this universe that one's love for another must be reciprocated.

In any love relationship, there is always a possibility of breaking up and it is just like a sweet dream turning sour and parties involved could see the split coming. In a breakup, there is always pain, especially when one's emotion are all tied up in knots. Emotional knots have to be severed sooner or later, and each time they are cut, the parties involved bleed a bit. In this situation, memories of things said or done could suddenly flashed past and fill one with overflowing emotions which will cause people to walk around like a wounded victim. If there is nothing that one can do about the breakup, the first thing to do is to accept its inevitability, meaning "What's gone is already gone". Until one manage to do this, he/she can be paralyzed with thoughts running over and over in the mind finding ways to mend something that cannot be mended. One must be emotionally prepared to undergo a few stages before recovering from the breakup.

Initially, there will be a shock and this will make one hard to believe that the breakup has really happened. Following by the shock, one has to face the loneliness of being alone. But all these will go away eventually and it takes time to heal. During this period, one should try living one day at a time and do not think about the past and worrying about the future, this will help you tide over the hardest period. And then, before one knows it, one is no longer affected by the breakup and is really free again.

One should avoid doing something foolish during this period of adjustment. Every now and then, you will read in newspaper about suicides or violence and even murders of couples when they broke up. Why do people have to undergo all this suffering? The reason is that they have not developed an understanding of the uncertainties of life and therefore they are trapped in an emotional turbulence. They tend to develop attachment and have unreasonable expectations. You will need to understand the nature of life to easily overcome the frustration in relationship and other aspects of life. You should understand that life is affected by conditions around us, it is just like the waves in the ocean, it fluctuate. One moment it is favorable and welcomed with open arms, but at the other moment it can be unfavorable that is rather dangerous. One may enjoy some gain but for every gain, there is also a danger of loss.

One way to find solace for your mental agony or frustration is to understand the degree of your own sufferings and difficulties with that experienced by others. You think that everything around you is going to collapse. However, if you try to take a mental stock of things and try to count your blessings, you will find, surprisingly, that you are better off than many others who suffer more. Many people are worse off than you and yet they do not worry unduly. In short, you are unduly magnifying your problems.

With this frame of mind, you will soon regain your self confidence and will be able to face and resolve whatever problems that are in store for you.

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