Now, while someone’s early years may have been a time when they received what they needed in order to grow and develop, there is also the chance that this wasn’t the case. As a result of this, they would have been deeply traumatised at this stage of their life.

However, even though this took place, the years would have continued to pass and one would have gone from a child to an adult. From the outside, then, it may seem as though everything is fine.

No Idea

In addition to this, one could be in a position where they are not even aware of the fact that their early years deeply traumatised them. Consequently, how they experience life will just be what is ‘normal’ and they won’t even question what is going on.

If they were to gain a deep understanding of themselves, though, they may see that they don’t have a strong connection with their own emotions. During the moments when they do connect to his part of them, they might not feel like a strong and capable adult.

Stepping Back

What this will illustrate is that although their physical self, and even their mental self, will have grown, their emotional self won’t have really changed. This part of them might not have moved beyond the level of emotional development that a small child has.

Not only this, this part of them is going to be in a very bad way. But, as they are likely to be carrying a lot of emotional pain, they are going to do whatever they can to stop themselves from becoming aware of it.

The Outcome

Through not having a good connection with their emotional self, it is likely to be difficult for them to form deeper connections with others and to know what their needs are. The antidote to this will be for them to reconnect to this part of their being.

Yet, as this will unconsciously be seen as something that is too much for them to handle, this is unlikely to taken place. Thus, if they do connect to his part of their being, it is not going to be through choice.

A Trigger

If this does take place, someone or something that they have formed an attachment to could change in some way or no longer exist. For example, a relationship could come to an end or a loved one could pass, unlocking a lot of pain in the process.

One can then go from being shut down, to being overwhelmed by how they feel. What they are going through will be painful enough but, thanks to the emotional pain that has been brought to the surface, it could be unbearable.

Business as Usual

This could be a time when they will do just about everything that they can to get rid of this pain. One way that this can take place is through using their willpower, and there is a strong chance that this part of them is very well-developed.

The reason for this is that as they won’t have had access to their emotional fuel – their body’s fuel - they will have had to rely on their minds fuel. This fuel can give one a sense of control but solely relying on this fuel to make things happen is likely to be very tiring.

A Number of Options

Along with this, they could consume and/or engage in something that will allow them to avoid how they feel. By behaving in this way, it might not be long until they are able to feel better.

Nonetheless, the pain that they were in won’t have disappeared; it will have been pushed out of their conscious mind and into their body. Ergo, sooner or later, something else will unlock some of their emotional pain.

No More Running

They may also that they get to a point where it is no longer possible for them to avoid how they feel. The dam that they had in place to keep their painful material at bay will have burst.

This may cause them to reach out for external support, where they may be put on some kind of medication and thereby, prevented from healing their wounds. Alternatively, they may end up working with a therapist or healer who understands what is going on, allowing them to provide one with the guidance and support that they need to work through their inner wounds.

Two Issues

To conclude, firstly, childhood trauma causes someone to be emotionally stuck at a certain stage of their development and, throughout their adult years, they can do whatever they can, both consciously and unconsciously, to keep this pain at bay. It is then not going to be a surprise is someone stays emotionally stunted for most, if not all, of their life.

Deep down, one will associate emotional pain with the experiences that they had as a child, and they won’t want to have those experiences again. The difference now is that they are a lot stronger than they were all those years ago and they can reach out for the right support.


If one can relate to this, and they are ready to face their emotional pain, they will probably need to reach out for external support. This can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over two thousand, six hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

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