In today’s world, it is often believed that human beings generally have no control over what happens to them. Also, when it comes to the ‘negative’ experiences that they have, the ‘negative’ feelings that they experience will be seen as being caused by what happens.

When someone is on board with this, then, it is not going to be a surprise if they have a ‘victim mentality’. But, as someone or something ‘out there’ is likely to be seen as being in control of their life, how else would they be?

External Feedback

Through being this way, there is a strong chance that one will be surrounded by people who also have the same belief. However, to them, and the people in their life, this won’t just be seen as what this actually is, a belief; it will be seen as the absolute truth.

As a result of this, there is going to be no reason for one to take a step back and to question this belief as the people in their life, along with the society that they live in, will validate them. If someone was to challenge them on what they believe and even provided the evidence that they are not inherently a victim, although that doesn’t mean they won’t have moments when they will be a victim on one level, they could end up getting defensive.

A Hidden Agenda

At this point, it could be said that those in power condition people to see themselves as mere victims as it makes it easier to control them. A large part of the population will be like powerless children who need parental figures to protect them.

There is certainly a lot of evidence to back up this point of view but, what this point of view doesn’t take into account, is that the human mind makes it hard for someone to see that they are co-creating their reality. If it wasn’t for this, it would be a lot harder for ‘those in power’ to do what they do.

Self-Deception

So, although someone can be very good at deceiving others, they can be even better at deceiving themselves. However, this is something that can take place without them even realising what is going on.

This is something that will take place through using different defence mechanisms and, ultimately, these will be lies that they tell themselves to avoid pain. This will be an unconscious process, meaning something that they are not aware of; if they were aware of when they use a defence mechanism, the defence mechanism wouldn’t work.

The Key

What this illustrates is how important self-awareness is as this is what will allow them to develop the ability to notice when they are using a defence mechanism. The next step will be for them to connect to the pain that they are trying to avoid.

This will allow them to gradually work their pain as opposed to pushing it out of their conscious mind and to end up being victimised by their own repressed inner material. This is because if it enters this part of their being, sooner or later, it will have an effect on how they experience life.

Seeing Through the Mirage

It could seem strange as to how what is pushed into someone’s unconscious mind could shape their reality, how the ‘invisible’ world could impact the ‘visible’ world, and this is partly due to the illusion of separation and partly due to having a very materialistic view of reality. One’s ego-mind, along with their eyes, will create the impression that they are just an observer of reality.

In reality, one is both an observer and a co-creator of what is showing up in their reality. Nonetheless, if one doesn’t acknowledge that they have an unconscious mind, let alone deal with what is held in this part of them, they are not going to be able to see how their outer world is mirroring back their inner world.

A Consequence

What takes place externally, then, is going to be a manifestation of what is taking place internally. Not only this, most of the feelings that they experience when something ‘negative’ happens will be feelings that were already inside them.

Considering this, their repressed feelings will have caused them to manifest a ‘negative’ situation and these feelings will enter their conscious awareness during the situation itself. Therefore, as bad as the situation may be, they will have been given the opportunity to come into contact with old emotional wounds that need to be healed.

Two Parts

These emotional wounds could go back to something that took place during their childhood years. Many years will have passed since this stage of their life and many defences will have been put in place, which could make it hard for their conscious mind to see how these emotional wounds relate to their childhood years.

Once they can see the connection, it will be a lot easier for them to focus on and deal with these wounds as opposed to getting caught up in what is going on externally, the story. What this clearly shows is that one’s conscious mind will want one thing and their unconscious mind will want something else.

A Helping Hand

By dealing with these emotional wounds, one will be able to change their life and to become more whole and complete. Thus, these ‘negative’ external experiences and the feelings that go with them are not there to make them suffer or to punish them, they are there to help them evolve.

This is why it has been said that the first stage of enlightenment is awareness, as without this, there is no growth. As with most things on this earth, this is a process; self-awareness is not something that is developed and that’s the end of it

Awareness

If one can see that they have inner wounds that need to be healed, and they are ready to face these wounds, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, inner child and inner awareness. With over two thousand, six hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

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