Although experiencing emotional pain from time to time is simply part of being human, it doesn’t mean that everything can relate to this experience. For some people, this is something that they will experience after a breakup, a loss, the end of a job, or when something doesn’t go as they had planned, there are others who will more or less always be in pain.

When someone is in this position, something challenging won’t have needed to occur externally for them to be in a bad way. Being in pain will just be a normal part of their day-to-day life.

Another Outcome

However, if they are not experiencing a lot of emotional pain, it could be because they have been able to disconnect from how they feel. As a result of this, they generally won’t have to experience the pain that they are in.

But, while this will give them a much-needed break, it will alienate them from an important part of themselves. The reason for this is that their emotional self won’t just be the part of them that allows them to feel things; it will also be the part of them that provides them with valuable information.

Another Form of Intelligence

When it comes to whether or not something is in their best interests, their emotional self will be there to guide them. This part of them will also be where their intuition is found; another part of them that will direct them in the right direction.

Their ability to know what is right for them and what they need to do is then going to be greatly undermined. With this part of them offline, so to speak, they will be reliant on their intellect and the advice of others.

One More Consequence

Another thing that this part of them will do is allow them to feel connected to others and to life itself. Thus, through being out of touch with their emotional self, they are likely to feel disconnected and alone.

It won’t matter how close they get to another person, as they won’t be able to truly connect to them. One may believe that sharing their body with another person will allow them to experience a deeper connection but this is unlikely to have much of an effect.

The Lesser Of Two Evils

Now, as numb as they will be through not being connected to their emotional self, this can be seen as being far better than the alternative. And, if they want to artificially bring themselves to life, they most likely won’t be short of options.

Yet, as much as they will do their best to keep their emotional pain at bay, there could come a point in time when it will end up being triggered. They could experience some kind of loss and the floodgates will open.

Totally Overwhelmed

The defences that they had in place will have been cast aside and some of their emotional pain will have come to the surface. Said another way, some of what was locked in their unconscious mind/body will have entered their conscious mind.

They will most likely be on solid ground at this pint but it could be as though they are all at sea. Their inner world will be all over the place and it might even seem as though they are going to die.

Business as Usual

They are going to be emotionally raw and, if there are moments when don’t feel overwhelmed, they could feel very low. A big part of them might want their life to go back to how it was, irrespective of how dead they felt.

To go back to how they were before might take even more force to keep their pain at bay. Thanks to how much pain they are in, they are in the perfect position to become addicted to something that is destructive; that is, of course, if they are not already in this position.

A Desperate Place

The addiction can then be seen as the problem yet this will just be a consequence of the pain that they are in. They won’t be able to soothe themselves, so they will need something external to soothe them.

It is then not that they are trying to get high; it is that they don’t want to be in pain. If someone was to believe that this person is weak or lacks willpower, it may show that they lack empathy and haven’t the faintest idea about what is going on for them.

A Deeper Look

When it comes to why someone would be carrying so much emotional pain, it could be due to what took place during their early years. This may have been a time when they were abused and/or neglected on a weekly, if not daily, basis.

Throughout this stage of their life, they would have experienced a lot of pain, and this pain wouldn’t have been dealt with. Instead, they would have had to disconnect from this pain, which would have involved disconnecting from their body, and to live on the surface of themselves.

The Past Is Present

Many years will have passed since that point in time but the emotional pain that they experienced will still be in their body. Most likely, they will carry many layers of pain inside them.

This pain won’t be removed by using positive thinking or by changing their thoughts and behaviour; it will need to be worked through. If one tries to use the same approach on their emotional body as they would on their mental body, they are unlikely to get very far.


When it comes to the mental body, change takes place through using force; whereas when it comes to the emotional body, change takes place through surrendering to what is. Through feeling their feelings, they will be able to let them go.

Nonetheless, as they are going to lack the inner strength to do this, they will most likely need to work with a therapist or healer. With their support, one will gradually be able to let go of their emotional baggage.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over two thousand, six hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

To find out more go to -

Feel free to join the Facebook Group -