In the same way that a light will usually appear on the dashboard of a car when something isn’t right, someone will usually experience pain when something is not right. Through paying attention to this pain, they will be able to do something about it.

On the one hand, there will be physical pain and, on the other, there will be emotional pain. This is not to say that they are separate from each other, though, as physical pain can create emotional pain and emotional pain can lead to physical pain.

A Message

So, in the same way that the light that appears on a dashboard is not a bad thing, it is also not a bad thing when one experiences pain. If this pain didn’t appear, it would be a lot harder for one to know when something isn’t right.

Then again, it might stop one from realising when something isn’t right, causing their life to end shortly after. What this empathises is how important it is for someone to listen to their own pain.

In Tune

When someone is in touch with their emotional pain, they are likely to be in touch with all of their emotions. Through having this connection, it will be a lot easier for them to make the right decisions.

This is naturally going to have a positive effect on every area of their life, thereby making it less likely that they will suffer. One might have been this way for as long as they can remember.

One Area

If one was to start dating someone and this person started to abuse them, it would probably cause them to feel unconformable. One would then listen to this pain and they would either let the other person know that their behaviour is not acceptable or they would walk away.

Their inner dashboard will have lit up, so to speak, causing them to do something about how they felt. If they hadn’t of behaved in this manner, the other person may have continued to behave in this way or they may have ended up in an abusive relationship.

Another Area

Another way in which having this connection with themselves will benefit them is by being able to recognise if they are somewhere that isn’t right for them. For example, they could end up somewhere where it is hard for them to feel at peace.

This could be mean that they have just gone for a walk or perhaps they have just moved into a new house/apartment. Either way, it will be clear that they need to get away from that area or to find a new home.

Three Parts

In order for someone to be able to behave in this manner, it won’t be enough for them to just have a strong connection with themselves. Along with this, they need to value themselves and to feel safe enough to behave in this way.

If they didn’t have these other two components in place, they wouldn’t be able to do anything with the information that is inside them. They would then be no better off than someone who is completely disconnected from their inner world.

Another Experience

When someone is out of touch with what is taking place within them, or is rarely in touch with it, it will be a lot harder for them to protect themselves. It will be as though they have dashboard in front of them, but they won’t look at it.

And even if they do look at it, they might not do anything with the information that is right in front of them. If they had the same approach when they experienced hunger, their time on this earth would soon come to an end.

A High Tolerance for Pain

If someone like this was to start dating someone who is abusive or ended up in an environment that wasn’t safe, they are likely to just put up with it. Due to not having a good connection with their inner pain, they won’t realise that they need to stand their ground, to end the relationship, or to get away.

The pain will be kept deep within them and they will end up tolerating whatever happens to them. What this is likely to show is that they have the ability to handle a lot of pain, and this is going to be a disadvantage.

What’s going on?

What is clear is that one is not going to be working with themselves; they will be working against themselves. The reason why one would behave in this way is because this is likely to be what feels safe.

Paying attention to how they feel and then doing something about it is not going to be an option. If they were to do this, they may believe that something bad would happen, and there is also the chance that they don’t believe they deserve to experience life differently.

Way Back

If one was to reflect on what took place during their early years, they may find that this was a time when they had to put up with pain. Perhaps this was a time when they were abused and/or neglected.

It wouldn’t have been safe enough for them to listen to this pain and then to assert themselves. No, the only thing they would have been able to do would have been to disconnect from this pain and to tolerate what was going on.


However, while disconnecting from their feelings allowed them to survive during this time, it is now causing them to suffer unnecessarily. That time in their life is over, but they are still going to be behaving as though it is still not safe enough for them to assert themselves.

Being treated in this way would have caused them to believe that they were worthless, yet this is also an illusion. In order for them to function at their best, they will need to operate as a whole human being.


What they went through all those years ago would have caused them to experience trauma, and this will need to be dealt with. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

Author's Bio: 

Teacher, Prolific writer, author, and coach, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over one thousand eight hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

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