Emily Browne Learns Percentages

Stranger in the House

Emily Browne let out a tiny shriek when she spotted a stranger in her home. An adrenaline rush came to her rescue, initiating the flight or fight response. But wait a minute…

There was something peculiar going on.

Upon closer inspection, the trespasser’s clothing was familiar to Emily Browne. Suddenly, she recognized the intruder. It was her. She, had, in reality seen a glimpse of herself in the hallway mirror.

“OMG, what has happened to my body? I am becoming the Pillsbury Dough Girl,” said Emily Browne.

Kangaroo Pouch

Emily Browne’s tummy was beginning to resemble a kangaroo pouch. She figured she had better stay away from the outback as a mother roo might mistake her for a babysitter with a built in.

Starting her day with a bowl of oatmeal every morning and having a green tea daily had lowered her weight by four pounds within three and a half weeks.

Downward Trend

Generally downward trends are not good, such as the stock market, employment arena and housing market. But, Emily Browne was thrilled with her downward trend. Her digital scale-or as Emily Browne called it, the bathroom terrorist, had gone down for the first time in years.

As Martha Stewart says, “It’s a good thing.”

Four pounds was a start. Just enough to renew Emily Browne’s hope one more time. Dare she think possibly, in this life she could be a non-smoker and thin at the same time.

Add a Positive Habit

Emily Browne knew it was important at this juncture to add another positive habit into her routine.

The next day an old saying popped into action for Emily Browne. When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. As she was walking through Costco a book dropped on the floor in front of her, "The Abs Diet, Get Fit, Stay Fit Plan."

It was certainly cheaper than Hoodia, and the other fat buster concoctions. These products should be called wallet busters, as that was the only thing that got lighter in Emily Browne’s case.

Upon Emily Browne’s arrival home, she immediately opened her book in preparation of claiming her real body back.

Emily Browne learned useful and helpful information by reading the “Abs Diet, Get Fit, Stay Fit Plan.” The following are a few excerpts from the book:

Important Percentages

· Two is the percentage of women with a model’s body

· 33.5 is the average woman’s waist circumference

· 38.8 the average man’s waist circumference

· 30 percent is the increase of the metabolic rate in the hour after drinking 17 ounces of ice water

· 30 percent more sex is had by men who exercise 3 days a week

Emily Browne immediately put pen to paper and wrote a food list, while guzzling down a tall glass of ice water. The information David Zinczenko shared in the “Abs” book filled Emily Browne with glee.

Power Foods

For instance; there are only 12 power foods to build meals and snacks to build around, which help to burn fat. Tiger Wood’s salary would not be needed to fulfill this list, either. This was no diet; it was a lifestyle way of eating. Emily Browne realized she would need to organize herself better in order to eat six times a day. Glory be.

No Barry Bonds

Another great benefit is Emily Browne would not have to do a Barry Bonds in order to build core strength and muscle. Last, but not least, she would only need to exercise three days a week to get results. She was shocked because the author didn’t require a gym, if she didn’t want to visit one. She could exercise anywhere she chose.

Exercise and Politicians

The book contains hundreds of low impact, high result exercises. Enough that even Emily Browne (whose aversion to exercise can be compared to many people’s opinions of politicians), found some she enjoyed. Enjoy and exercise usually is not of the same world, although stranger things have been known to happen.

Life is Good

In less than two weeks Emily Browne’s pants were a bit looser in the waist. Her energy level and attitude raised and life was good again.

Jessica Simpson

Emily Browne decided the wallet busters (weight loss pills) were a thing of the past. As a result, her cabinets lost weight, too. Emily Browne threw out all the lotions and potions that promised to uncover the Jessica Simpson that was hiding under her body fat.

Quality Time

The book added some quality time with her partner as well. It suggests walking on the days you don’t exercise. She enjoys the walks they take. It is a wonderful excuse to get them off the couch, out of the house and closer to Emily Browne’s new lucky number 30.