Emasculation: Why Would A Man Allow A Woman To Emasculate Him?

If a man, who is in a relationship, were to think about how his girlfriend typically behaves, he could find that she is not very supportive or respectful. He could see that she has been this way for a while.

When it comes to how she behaves, what can be normal is for her to be critical and controlling. This can involve her comparing him to other men, telling him what to do, and even moments when she tries to prevent him from seeing his friends and family.

A Destructive Influence

Thanks to how she behaves, she is not going to be having a positive impact on his life. It can be as though she is his enemy and is then doing just about everything that she can to undermine him.

As a result, after he looks back over the days, weeks, months and perhaps years that he has been with her, he could see how he has been gradually weakened. He is then going to be radically different to how he was before.

A Defence

He might see that as time has passed, he has withdrawn into himself. If so, he can see that he has stopped doing certain things, rarely sees his friends and he might have gained or lost a lot of weight.

And, when he is at work, his performance might have suffered. Then again, this might be somewhere where he is able to be himself and feels relieved that he is away from his girlfriend.

An Imbalance

Based on how he is being treated, it will be as if his girlfriend sees him as a boy, not a man. He will then be incapable, which is why she will need to continually pull him down and direct his life.

He is not going to be happy with how things are and although she is playing a part in why that is, she is unlikely to be happy either. Together, they should elevate each other and, there should be a synergy between them, not endless conflict.

It’s Clear

If she wasn’t this way at the beginning, he could come to the conclusion that he just happened to end up with a woman like this. It might go further than this as he could believe that this is just what women are like.

What can play a part in this is that he might have been with a number of women who were like this. However, assuming he does have this outlook, what if there is far more to it?

Another Angle

If he were to look back over the time that he has been with her, he may see that he hasn’t stood up for himself and has allowed himself to be mistreated. He could see that he had hoped that she would change her behaviour if he did what she wanted.

What might then stand out is that he is not in his power and this is why he has ended up in this position. And, if he has been in this position before, he could see that this is what happened before.

A Closer Look

If this is the case, he could wonder why he finds it hard to stand up for himself and feels comfortable being walked over by a woman. What this may illustrate is that what is taking place in this area of his life is a replay of what it was like for him during his formative years.

At this stage of his life, his mother might have behaved in a very similar way. Moreover, if his father had been around, she might have treated him in the same way.

The Same Story

Thanks to what his mother was like, he would have been impacted in at least two ways. First, he would have missed out on his mother’s love and, second, as his father was also undermined by her, his father wouldn’t have been able to build him up or provide him with an example of what it is like to be a strong and capable man.

To handle being greatly deprived and deeply wounded by both of his parents, his brain would have repressed how he felt and a number of his needs. This would have also involved him losing touch with his connected true self and forming a disconnected and outer-directed false self.

Self-Alienation

He would then have lost touch with his feelings and instincts. His priority would have been to please his mother and he would have hoped that, if he did what she wanted, he would be loved by her and his father.

Most likely, his mother was deeply wounded due to what took place during her formative years and was unable to love him. As for his father, he was probably deeply wounded during his formative years, too, and was unable to love him.

Moving Forward

This stage of his life will be over, but deep down, he can still be looking for their love, which is why he continually ends up in situations that are very similar to how it was for him at this stage of his life. The part of him that is still looking for this love is blind and has no sense of time.

It is for this reason that it is unable to accept that another woman is not his mother and that it is too late for him to receive this love. For him to emotionally move on, he will have pain to face and unmet developmental needs to experience.

Awareness

If a man can relate to this and he is ready to change his life, he may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.