Effective Communication Skills

EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION SKILL

Now-a-days we hear a lot about communication skills. Today it has become a core requirement of every job irrespective the types. You pick up any placement advertisements. The first thing you we’ll note is, the applicant must have excellent communication skills. Let us see how we can make our skills more and more effective. In this article we will not discuss about basic fundamentals of communication skills. We will move beyond basic.

Setting Goal

Many times we don’t know what we want to get from a communication. As a result we either stammer or beat around the bush and waste our time. If we have a clear goal in our mind then our communication becomes more focused and productive. Therefore it becomes essential to set our communication goal i.e. what do you want communicate, listen, see or happen in a communication setting.

Questions

We must consider all the questions while communicating with someone e.g. what, why, when, where, whom, how.

What--- You must be sure about what you are going to say. Many times we speak too much but do not tell anything. ‘What’ questions will help you to omit unnecessary detail and focus on important points. For this follow K.I.S.S. formula i.e. Keep It Short & Simple. Remember the smart know what to say, the wise know whether to say it.

Why— This will help you to discover the reasons of your communication i.e. if you have a genuine reason or not.

When—This will help you to understand whether it is the right time to speak. It is because the right
information at wrong time is useless.

Where— This will help you to understand the setting or place i.e. is it the right place to talk about.

Whom— This will help you to understand to whom you are talking. We all have different roles at different context, for example, your friend is the boss in a company in which you also serve. While talking to him you must be clear about to whom you are talking. Are you talking to your friend or your boss?

How – Many times how becomes more powerful than any other questions. ‘How’ refers to your approach and a lot depends on it. It also includes your style.

Your ability to understand these questions will make your communication logical, meaningful and effective.

Language

Words rule the world. Use them effectively. There are few ways to use the language more effectively:

a) Simplicity in language: It is essential to use simple language. Rarity of words and complicated and complex sentences are to be avoided.

b) Sensory Based Language: Use sensory based language because it is a very powerful tool for making your communication productive. This is the tool used by highly successful leaders, poets, actors, etc. it helps the listener to visualize the clear picture of the events or situation. For example, if you are narrating an event like ‘I have gone for a picnic with my family’. This very mechanical and plane. But if you say ‘I have gone for a picnic to a dam. The cool wind was blowing. I felt a tickling sensation in my body. There was greenery all around. It seemed that nature has especially blessed that place. My kids were very happy because there were other children to play’. This type of language gives an exact picture of the scene to the listeners.

c) Negative/Positive language: Before going any further do a small exercise. Close your eyes for few seconds and do NOT think about a RED CAT. What was the very first thought came to your mind? This exercise has been done with a lot of people and most of them replied that the first picture came to their mind is RED CAT. And most probably the same is true with you. It is because in order not to think something, first we have to think about it. Our most of the communication is negative, for example most of the time we instruct our children and subordinates in negative ways like, “Don’t do this or that”. This way you are, Of Course unconsciously, telling them to do very things that you want them to avoid. As a result you notice more of these occurrences and you wonder why did it happen in spite of so many instructions. It’s not their fault. It’s the fault of their mind because it is the very nature of mind (which you might have seen yourself if you did the Red Cat exercise) to think which is asked not to think. The harder you try stronger it comes. It is because in order not to think something first we have to think it. Therefore we must remember, if our attention is centered on problems, it is what we are more likely to get. Even if we focus our attention on the reduction of the problem, we are still paying attention to the problems. Therefore, the best remedy for such occurrences is to state your instructions in positive language. For example, instruct them like, “Do this or that”. Therefore the best remedy for such occurrences is to focus on what you want to communicate not on what you don’t want to communicate.

d) Negative Words/Phrases: The use of negative words/phrases like ‘but’, ‘just’, ‘try’, ‘may be’ etc. are to be avoided at all cost. Let us see the effects of these words.
i) But: Whenever we use BUT we unconsciously negate what is said before. For example if we say ‘I agree with you but….’ That literally means that you don’t agree. In place of ‘but’ you may use ‘and’, ‘on the other hand’.
ii) Just: We often hear people say “I am just ok”, “he just can’t”. Here the meaning either remains unclear or undermining others. In either case there will be great chances of miscommunication.
iii) Try: Whenever you say “I’ll try”, “you should try” you are not affirmative in your approach.

Examples

Use suitable and relevant examples, stories, data, or any other information in your communication. It makes your communication more effective and impressive. Besides, the general atmosphere becomes light. You may use the jokes to make it humorous but you most ensure that your jokes are impersonal i.e. it is not targeted. And the use of metaphors adds the further spice in your communication.

Delivery

As we discussed that ‘how’ you are communicating is more important anything else. To make your communication more effective match appropriate facial expressions, emotions and gestures. Change the speed and volume of your voice. Give stress to the key words and phrases that you feel important from your prospective. And, use the pauses in between.

Effect

The meaning of a communication is the response you get from others or what effect does it create on others. Every communication has its effect. The effect is more important than intention. It does not matter how good your intention may be if your style is awkward or irritating, it will have adverse effect on the listeners. Therefore before you say something, think what effect it may cause. If you follow “Think before ink”, you’ll be able to communicate better.

Be Aware Of Communication Barriers

Many times our communication is not the way we want it to proceed. This happens due to some barrier in communication. Let us see what are these barrier.
a. Allness: This occurs when we start thinking that we know it all. Due to this barrier we don’t listen to others properly and likely to miss important text.
b. Undermining others: This barrier occurs when we start undermining others due to their personality, dresses, status, religion, and etc. Due to this barrier either we stop our communication with them or we may make fun of them which ultimately causes miscommunication.
c. Language: Using technical language, difficult words or ambiguous language also cause barrier in communication.
d. Our emotions: Our emotions, moods, egos, thinking, feelings often influence the ways we communicate with others.
e. Distraction/disturbance: Loud noise, music, interruption, etc. also causes barriers in communication.

Some additional tips

Following points will further improve your communication skills:
• Use common language which other can understand, use simple& short sentences, and avoid rarity of words or we can say that keep it short & simple(
K.I.S.S.).
• Start your talk about others interests.
• Show genuine interest in others and talk about their interests.
• Pay particular attention to people’s names. Do not criticize but give your sincere advice & suggestions.
• Have genuine smile. It doesn’t cost a penny but its value is immense.
• Instead of making fun of others, say impersonal jokes so that everybody can laugh.
• Find points of agreement rather arguing on disagreement.
• Don’t try to be life of party or taking the lead in your way.
• Have different communicating styles because same style will not be suitable at all the contexts. You must have different approach while talking to different people like different age group, sex, class etc.