As someone is a human being, it means that they will have a head and a body. And, on the inside, they will have and thoughts, feelings and instincts.

However, although there are these two parts of them or seemingly two parts of them, it doesn’t mean that they will be in touch with both of these parts. They can be very much live in their head and be strong attached to their mind and more or less overlook their body.

Two Parts

As a result of this, they will be very much aware of their ability to think and their thoughts but that will be about it. Their feelings and instincts are then typically going to be overlooked.

In general, it could be as though they don’t have feelings or instincts. What this will illustrate is how their sense of self is very much rooted in their mind and is largely based on the thoughts that they have.

The Norm

So, while this will mean that they will live on the surface of themselves and won’t have access to a lot of the information that is inside them, this will just be what is normal. There is then going to be no reason for them to realise that they are not connected to all of themselves.

For them to realise this, they will probably need to have an experience that allows them to connect to their body and to feel their feelings. What could do this is if they were to experience a loss of some kind.

A Way of life

With that aside, they are likely to have a mind that is often very busy, with them spending a lot of time thinking and reflecting. Another part of living up top, so to speak, is that they could often experience anxiety.

When this takes place, they could believe that their ‘negative’ thoughts are the problem, for instance. In all likelihood, a lot of this mental activity will be a consequence of what is going on for them at an emotional level.


At this level, they are likely to have a lot of emotional pain that needs to be faced and integrated. But, as what is going on at this level is unable to break through to their conscious awareness, thanks to the defences that they have in place, it will create a lot of pressure.

One consequence of this pressure is the ‘negative’ thoughts that they experience. These thoughts are then a symptom of something else; not a problem per se.

Another Part

Living in a small part of them and not being rooted in their body is also going to mean that they are out of touch with a number of their needs. So, they can be in touch with their basic needs such as their need to eat and sleep and their mental needs.

But, when it comes to their emotional needs, such as their need to connect to another and experience intimacy, these are seldom if ever going to be experienced and thus, met. Still, not meeting these needs is going to have an impact on them.

One Effect

If they were not an interdependent human being, it wouldn’t if they met these needs. Not meeting these needs can play a part in causing them to feel low, drained and anxious.

Yet, as they are not aware of what is going on, they can believe that they have mental health issues. To make themselves feel better, they can distract themselves by eating, drinking or watching films, for instance.

One More

When it comes to them not having a good connection with their instincts, the outcome of this is that they can allow people to walk over them and end up in situations that are not safe. The part of them that is there to let them know when their boundaries are being crossed and when they need to get away from somewhere won’t be online.

Taking all this into account, by having a sense of self that is rooted in their mind and doesn’t include their body, they are going to be a very watered-down version of themselves. If they were to experience a loss, then, and this allowed them to connect to their body and feelings, they could end up wondering why they are this way.

A Closer Look

This can also be a time when they are overwhelmed by pain and find it hard to function. When it comes to why they haven’t had a good connection with their body and their feelings and instincts, this can be due to what took place during their formative years.

This may have been a time when their mother and perhaps their father were emotionally unavailable and unable to provide them with the love that they needed to grow and develop in the right way. Practically from the moment that they were born, then, they might have been greatly deprived and deeply wounded.

No Other Choice

As time passed, they may have been physically harmed and verbally put down. Either way, they would have been overwhelmed from a very young age and to keep it together, their brain would have automatically repressed how they felt and they would have gradually left their body.

If this hadn’t taken place and they stayed connected to their body and were in touch with their feelings, all of their needs and instincts, they probably would have died. Losing touch with their embodied true self and developing a disembodied false self was the only way for them to ensure their survival.

Coming Back Down

For them to be able to inhabit their body and feel safe being there, they are likely to have a lot of pain to face and work through and unmet developmental needs to experience. This will take courage, patience and persistence.


If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis cover all aspects of human transformation; including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, enmeshment, inner child, true self and inner awareness. With over three thousand, six hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

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