Early Deprivation: Can Early Deprivation Cause Someone’s Emotional Self To Go Into Exile?

Although someone has an emotional self, in addition to a mental self, it doesn’t mean that they will realise this. The reason for this is that they could typically be out of touch with how they feel.

What this is likely to mean is that they will spend most of their life in their head and be out of their body. This is because their feelings will be found in their body, not their head.

A Different Approach

This will give them a more mental approach to life, with them likely having the inclination to try to work things out and rely on insight as opposed to feeling if something is right and relying on instinct.

Now, this is not to say that they won’t ever experience anger or frustration; no, what it means is that they won’t have the tendency to experience deep, embodied feelings. There is a chance that they have been this way for a very long time.

The Norm

If this is the case, there will be no reason for them to question why they are this way. And, if they were to come into contact with someone who is in touch with how they feel, they could experience a strong reaction.

For example, they could believe that this is someone who lacks self-control and is “too emotional”. In their eyes, then, they will need to learn how to manage how they feel and gain control of themselves.

A Flat Existence

However, while they won’t lack self-control, they can have the inclination to lack energy and be lifeless. But, as they will be out of touch with the part of them that will give them energy and allow them to feel alive, this is to be expected.

Yet, as they are not aware of what is going on, they can believe that they just suffer from depression, for instance. This could be put down to them having a “chemical imbalance” or as something that is genetic.

Another Part

Not being rooted in their body and connected to their feelings and instincts is also likely to mean that they won’t have a strong need to connect to others and experience intimacy. Instead, they can prefer to engage in intellectual pursuits.

If they do have people in their life, they could typically talk about surface-level things. These are then going to be relationships that lack depth.

The Catalyst

Sooner or later, though, they could end up meeting someone who they are attracted to and develop a deeper connection with them. They will then go from living a life where they don’t feel a great deal, to living a life where they do.

The ‘positive’ feelings that they experience might not last, though, as they could soon experience a number of ‘negative’ feelings. For example, the person they are with could soon pull away or even cut their ties with them.

A Rough Time

Assuming that the latter takes place, they can end up being overwhelmed with pain. They will then have gone from one extreme to another, with them being caught up in how they feel.

They can experience anger and sadness, and feel helpless and hopeless. What might enter their mind is that the person they were with caused them to feel this way.

Another Angle

But, even though this may appear to be the case, there can be more to it. What this can show is that this person simply unlocked pain that was held in other parts of their brain and body.

Up until this point, there would have been a ‘barrier’ that kept this inner material outside of their conscious awareness and uprooted them from their body. Now that this ‘barrier’ is no longer as effective, they will have been introduced to some of what their conscious mind had forgotten all about and developed a better connection with their body.

A Deeper Look

Most likely, this will be pain that they had to repress during their formative years, with them leaving their body in the process. Practically from the moment that they were born, they might have missed out on the attunement and care that they needed.

As the years passed, this might have continued to be the case. To handle what happened and keep it together and function, their brain would have automatically repressed how they felt and a number of their needs.

One Option

This would have also involved them disconnecting from their embodied and connected true self and developing a disembodied and disconnected false self. Ultimately, the connection that they had to themselves after they were born would have gradually been lost.

The years would then have passed, but what was repressed at this stage of their life would have stayed inside them, and they would have continued to be in a disconnected state. This pain would have also played a part in why they had the relational experience that they had.

Another Element

At this deeper level, they will be trying to receive the love that they missed out on at this stage of their life. This part of them won’t want to be with someone who can be there for them; it will want to be with someone who is just as unavailable as their mother and perhaps their father was.

As this part of them has no sense of time and is blind, it won’t be able to see that another person is not their mother or father and that it is too late to receive this love. This part will believe that if it struggles enough, it will finally be loved.

Moving Forward

For them to no longer be in pain and inhabit their body, they will have pain to face and work through, and unmet developmental needs to experience. This will take courage, patience and persistence.

Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.