More often than not the Higher vs. Lower Vibration conflict is most obvious when we interact with others. Ultimately, it’s an inner conflict; and it’s often a conflict because something isn’t fully integrated.

“You ever been to a class or somethin’, or read a book—somethin’ that gave you suggestions about makin’ life easier or better?”


“You probably felt all charged up—energized—ready to put your new insights to work. You probably walked around feelin’ really upbeat, big smile on your face like you had the keys to the kingdom in your pocket. You maybe even started to tell folks about it—like you’d become the expert of somethin’. Any of this familiar?”

“Oh, yeah,” I said, nodding my head.

“What happened?”

“Several things. Instead of actually bringing the ‘light of reality’ to others as I thought I would, I just irritated them. And as soon as the opportunities to test my new insights arrived, I wasn’t as successful as I thought I’d be.”

“Do you understand what happened?”

“Not exactly.”

“No integration. See, when we get an insight, it shifts our energy up a bit. We like the feelin’. We want to share it so others can feel as good—and as less fearful—as we do at that moment. When higher energy bumps into lower energy, there’s resistance in both directions. The lower resists goin’ higher, the higher resists goin’ lower. Instant conflict.

“Also, when we get a new way to do somethin’ and that first opportunity comes to try it out, old behaviors pop up as well. Integration comes after a time, A.J. It’s like tryin’ to put new furniture into a room before the old furniture is moved out. Everythin’ is in there, but it’s too crowded to move around in or work the way it should.”

Two important messages occur in the above dialogue: The nature of conflict and the importance of integration. Clarification: Higher and Lower are perceptions only, and each of us perceives what they are differently.

You’ve heard or read it before: when you decide to change something about yourself or your life for the better, it’s possible others in your life get uncomfortable, if not critical. This is especially true if your goal or dream fits into the “higher energy or vibration” category. This can be anything from deciding to eat better when your partner or family is committed to junk food and lots of carbs or expanding your self-empowerment or spirituality, and this rattles the cages of those around you. Anything different from their “norm” will trigger others around you, especially if they resist or fear change—even positive change.

Yes, you might find a conflict with another happens, but also consider that some of the conflict you experience might happen because of higher and lower energies bumping heads within you, not solely externally. Authentic living is something many desire but fear stepping into. Resistance from others is a mirror of your own resistance—what you may “lose” vs. what you may gain.

What if your goal is to live your life purpose? Your ego self, affected by decades of limiting beliefs, may hesitate to do what’s required (lower). It may not want to take the leap it’s being asked to take (higher). Do you really want to keep doing the same things—which may lead to your withering inside—or do you want to trust that a commitment to your life purpose (who you really are) will make you a magnet for everything you need and more?

It’s far too easy to blame others or life because we fear being or becoming who we came here to be (lower). If you commit to live your life purpose in spite of any fear you feel (higher), what and who you need to support you will come to you—in the right timing. What and who doesn’t support you or refuses to will shed from your life. This may be abrupt or take time, and it may even feel scary.

Integration, as related in the dialogue excerpt above, ties in with conflict. Develop a habit where you look at what is out of balance and ask questions such as, “What motivates me to allow this? What are my feelings about this? Where did this belief come from?” Search until you find the core moment that created the limiting belief, let it go, and replace it with a belief that supports you.

We are hard on ourselves when we seek something better. One of the biggest obstacles we create is to believe because we’ve had an insight to a higher vibration thought, method, or philosophy, any negativity we have should disappear or be eliminated. We think that we (and others) who follow a positive thought path are supposed to do everything right all the time, have all of our “ducks in a row” all of the time (and others may project this onto us). That isn’t what managing your energy and how you experience your life is about. And, only from consistent practice of feeling and acting on what’s appropriate for you do you integrate a new way of being.

Desired outcomes are great; but it’s ultimately how you manage yourself, learn to grow, and integrate what you learn, so you create a joyful, fulfilling life for yourself.

Remind yourself that your experience is yours. It will look and be like whatever supports you to expand your consciousness. The opinions of others, especially critical others, cannot matter, cannot be allowed to knock you off course. You may want to share what you’re doing with only those you know will support you and do what you do in silence around unsupportive others—unless conflict is a needed element (which it sometimes is).

Inner conflict comes when we know we can do better (higher) but can’t quite go there yet (lower) and we judge ourselves (definitely lower) rather than attempt to re-evaluate what we will do better the next time or can start now, until making appropriate choices for ourselves becomes more natural.

Personal power is not about ridding ourselves of our negative side or forestalling any possibility of a challenge in our life, but in making better choices as a whole person, including how we feel and engage our every moment. This doesn’t mean you’ll always choose your ideal feelings, words, or actions first, but that you can shift a negative to a positive as soon as you choose to.

You are what you practice.

[Dialogue excerpted from I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, But I Have Something to Say]

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Author's Bio: 

You Are More! Empowerment Coach Joyce Shafer, author of I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, but I Have Something to Say ( Learn about her books and e-books, and read her current free weekly newsletter at