Up until recently, someone may have typically been full of life and taken life by the horns, to so speak. But, after something has taken place, they could have very little if any energy and have just about lost all their drive to do anything.

As a result of this, if they were to reach out for support, they could end up being described as depressed. However, even if they were to simply talk to a friend or family member about what is going on, the same thing could take place.

The Cause

When it comes to what has taken place, they may have lost their job, had a breakup or be unable to do something due to their health not being what it was before. Either way, what has taken place can end up being seen as the only reason why they are this way.

For them to return to how they were before, then, they could end up being encouraged to change what is taking place in their mind. Changing their perception, along with their thoughts, will then be a way for them to get back on their feet.

Moving Forward

After engaging in this process, they may find that they are gradually able to go back to how they were before or close to it. If this does take place, it can be seen as a clear sign that what was going on up top was the only issue.

They will be a ‘functioning’ member of society once again and it will be business as unusual. A little while down the line, though, and the same thing could happen all over again, and this approach may or may not work this time.

A Closer Look

If it does work, then once again, they will carry on as they were before or how they behave might be close to how they were before. Yet, if this approach doesn’t work, they might end up looking deeper into what is going on.

What might enter their mind is that the reason this keeps happening is that what they have been doing hasn’t truly solved anything. It might occur to them that this mind-based approach is simply allowing them to avoid what is actually going on for them.

A Short-Term Solution

They will then have patched themselves up and carried on, and, after they fell down again, they will have patched themselves up again. At this point, they might have a strong need to get to the bottom of what has been going on for so long.

They could wonder what it is about what takes place that has such a big impact on them. In order for them to find out what is really going on, they will probably need to connect to what is taking place in their body.

Further Down

If they were to do this, they may find that below this state that they go into, are a number of feelings. They could end up feeling hopeless, helpless, unloved and unwanted, and be in a place of total despair.

What they could struggle to understand is why they feel this way and how not being able to do something or be with someone has this effect on them. If they were able to remember some of the things that took place during their formative years, this might soon change.

Stuck On a Treadmill

When they are able to do something and/or be with someone, this is likely to primarily be a way for them unconsciously to try to earn the love that they missed out on during their formative years. Therefore, when they can’t do something or be with someone, how they felt all those years ago will be experienced at a deeper level, outside of their conscious awareness, and they will go into a collapsed physical state.

What this illustrates is that, without being aware of it, they will have been projecting their parent’s or parents’ onto situations and people and hoping to finally meet their unmet developmental needs. If it is possible for them to engage in a struggle for love, which is what they are likely to have done as a child, they will be able to keep this early pain at bay, but, if it isn’t, this pain will end up breaking through and impacting them directly.

Way Back

Throughout their formative years, they might have been physically harmed and/or neglected. Irrespective of what took place, the outcome would have been the same; they would have been deprived of what they needed to grow and develop in the right way and experienced a lot of pain.

As they needed their parent’s or parents’ love, they would have struggled to receive it; it would have been too painful for them to accept the fact that it wouldn’t be provided. Continually struggling to receive it would have played a part in them keeping their pain at bay and allowed them to keep it together and function.

The Past is present

So, even though they will now be an adult and what took place will be over, the impact of what took place will still be defining their life. For them to no longer look for the love that they missed out on all those years ago and to move out of this collapsed state, they will need to gradually face the pain that is held inside them.

Another part of this will be for them to face and express the unmet development needs that were not met all those years ago. This is a process that will take courage and patience and persistence.


If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, inner child and inner awareness. With over three thousand, two hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

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