In order to make a good decision, adults employ all the logic at their disposal. However, if you are not an Adult Personality Type, or if you are married to an Individual representing another personality type, conflicts occur and logic may not be the primary consideration for deciding what to do.

Additionally, all the logic in the world won’t matter if you are not the sole decision maker. If you want a life partner, and an easy life, how do you recognize which people will make decisions similar to the way you do?

It boils down to deep compatibility, not simply superficial similarities, like you both enjoy the same movies or Chinese food. At least in the early stages of relationships, opposite personality types give us a “rest” from whom we are, and refresh us by showing us other ways to look at situations, as love lowers our boundaries.

However, if we share the same basic personality foundation, decisions on issues, that would otherwise be relationship breakers, come easier.

Please suspend judgment right now as you read a summary of the three different personality types. Don’t decide which the correct philosophy is, but simply bring to mind individuals you know, and instantly you will recognize your friends and family and which ones fit in the following categories:

1) The Parent Type makes a decision because “It is the right thing to do.” The rest of the sentence is, “...even if I don’t want to do it.” They may let you have what you want, but you pay an emotional disapproval price. How far with they go with this? A long way. Alternatively, if they say no to a question, remember that “No,” is an easy position to defend. It keeps them from making a mistake.

2) The Adult Type, attempts to consider both the Parent and Child opinions, and makes a logical decision based on the all the facts. They will do the mental work in order to find the truth about the problem, accept responsibility, and carefully think it through. On the other hand, if they decide that the consequences, of any decision they make, are not too great, they may indulge themselves this time, and use their emotions as the yardstick, rather than logic.

3) The Child Type, decides what to do, based strictly on emotions and their gratification. Don’t let the term “Child” fool you. Being 6 foot 2 inches tall does not make you emotionally grown. The dialogue goes like this: Let’s buy a new car (child), no we can’t afford it (parent or adult), but I want it, so let’s buy it anyway (child).

In the case of couples, she says, “I know he is child, but I love him.” Then he takes the checkbook and gambles the food money away, week after week. The marriage probably won’t last, even if they do enjoy the same movies.

Now here is a different situation. The biological parent, who is actually an Adult Type, runs out of money and asks her grown child, who is a Parent Type, if she can come live with her and her family. The daughter immediately says “yes.”

Now the mother can interpret this quick affirmative decision as a decision made from love, because logically, the move-in is a predictable disaster.

The mother didn’t recognize the Parent Type decision making process and projected that her daughter would make a logical decision, the same way she would. She moved in because she needed help. Soon after, obviously predictable conflicts surfaced, and the mother realized, that her daughter had just “Done the right thing,” by not turning her back on her needy mother. Now, the mother has to move out.

Therefore, for your own safety and peace of mind, don’t judge another’s decision-making point of view based on your own personality type. Just accept that, whatever method your family or friends use, when they make a decision, they probably won’t change. They will never “come to their senses,” and think the way you do. Just love them and expect the predictable results.

Author's Bio: 

Judith Evicci, personal growth and technical writer. Favorite writing genre is creative nonfiction.

In the business writing arena, she specializes in business website content, eBooks, on real estate topics, and web articles.

Her most recent technical eBook publication is a textbook study guide used to prepare for passing the California NMLS SAFE Act, Mortgage Loan Origination test. The eBook is offered for sale on the web.

Highest education degree obtained is a BS in Law from Western State University, Fullerton, California.

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