Dear Dr. Romance:

I am so happy I could find someone like you to talk to. I am a regular guy and I use your articles for my relationship and it has really helped me. But I am sending you this mail because I need your assistance and i need it fast.

The problem is I have a very hot temper and it is always affecting me when me and my spouse argue. We love each other and understand each other but she is always doing things that gets me upset and then it leads to anger. She gets carried away with friends easily and she forgets what we have to do sometimes or even forgets to call me till I call. She says she's sorry but she does it all the time.

Things like this makes me get angry but the more I try to control it she does the same thing again . What can I do to control my anger and make my relationship work out?

Dear Reader:

The first thing you get wrong is that you think because something makes you angry, you are entitled to throw a temper tantrum. This is wrong. You can learn to control your temper, stay rational, and ask for what you want. Don't be so proud of your hot temper. It's a big problem, and it will eventually get you in trouble, if it hasn't already.

Your spouse doesn't listen to you because she has learned to shut you out. She probably feels that nothing she does is right anyway, so why bother to try and please you? "Couples Can Cooperate for Success" will help you and your wife  learn how to negotiate and make agreements that you can both keep. "Anger -- Cleansing Squall or Hurricane" will show you how  to keep your anger under control, and "Stop Reacting and Start Relating" will show her how to make promises she can keep about time. "How Not to Fight" will teach you how to relate better to each other, and  How to Be Happy Partners: Working it Out Together will help you both understand how to negotiate and communicate effectively.

Happy Partners cover

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Author's Bio: 

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California since 1978 with over 30 years experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 13 books in 17 languages, including It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction; The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again; Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage, The Commuter Marriage, and her newest, Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences. She writes the “Dr. Romance” blog, and the “Happiness Tips from Tina” email newsletter.